Don't say "move out"....that's not an option at this point due to many complicated reasons. I'm sleeping in the living room but I have dreams and wake up crying.
2007-07-28 17:50:33 · 11 answers · asked by Dellajoy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is there a room or a space that you can make your own? Can you work different shifts so that you are not home much at the same time?
Make some plans with friends or family to be out more doing inexpensive things like taking walks, going to the library or a picnic, free zoo trip,,,,, anything that gets you out of the "us" arena. Save your money. Maybe get a second job to keep you out of the house and earning money to become independent of him. Hopefully it will also tire you out so you don't have as much time and energy to think about him as your partner but distance yourself into thinking of him as a room-mate.
2007-07-28 18:33:39 · answer #1 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgive me for suggesting this, but one thing you could try is every time you're around this person or see this person think of the most hurtful thing this person has done to you. If this person has not done anything significantly hurtful, than think of the most hurtful thing you've experienced or something that deeply saddens you. Or if you want to feel nothing for this person, think of an experience that made you feel numb or empty. After a while you'll connect this person with these feelings. It's like Pavla's law. You ring a bell and put out food for a dog enough times the dog will make a connection that when the bell rings he knows he's going to get food. Then if you ring the bell and put out no food the dog will expect the food still and look for it. I believe emotions are similar. We make these connections all the time without knowing it. So there's no reason why we shouldn't be able to do it willing. Sometimes we have to do whatever it takes to survive.
2007-07-29 04:50:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't given much info about why you want to detach, but unfortunately, somebody is going to have to move soon. You can't get on with your life when there's such a huge symbol of your relationship always around, and the same goes for him. It's impossible to go from intimate to just friends.
Is this your choice? Read some self-help books and build your support network. You don't have to go venting to all your friends and family, but hang out with them more. Get out and enjoy a change of scenery, especially if you can do it with other people. That will help quite a bit. It might also be time to pursue an interest you've had. You could take a class or just spend time working on a hobby or activity.
2007-07-29 00:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by personal.pastor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh girl...I know your pain! I've been with a man for 11 years and we are waiting to sell our house. Meanwhile, we still share the same life and the same bed. How do I do it? I realize that I'm done with the relationship, that my soul is tired and that I cannot imagine one more day living the way that I had been living.
Have faith, stick to your guns and believe in yourself. You will get to where you want to be with a little patients. This is all a step to the next thing in your life.
2007-07-29 00:57:09 · answer #4 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately the reality of it is you are not going to be able to move on until you do move out. Since you cannot do that at this time to due to the complicated situation you are going to have to do your best to cope. Do whatever you can to speed up your ability to move out so that you can begin to heal and get yourself better. While you are there is a waste of your time so think positively and work on getting out of there.
Good luck!
2007-07-29 00:56:08 · answer #5 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Della, Della, If you are sleeping in the living room you are already on your way. Solutions don't usually fall out of the sky. That means you have to make, start and stick to a plan. It is called an "exit strategy"
2007-07-29 00:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by JOHN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard.... you still see him every day, absence can make the heart fonder, but it also helps heal a bruised or broken one. Try to find a new center and new value just for you .... focus on something other than him and the loss.......
Try alittle fantasy about someone other than him .... make better dreams.
2007-07-29 01:14:21 · answer #7 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U just have to say to yourself that "if he really loves me would not treat me the way that he does. We r not getting any younger and you need to think about what is important in life. Being Happy!!! Well Good Luck
2007-07-29 01:15:37 · answer #8 · answered by hippie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear this! It's gonna be hard but ur gonna have to just get over him. I lived with my ex for 5 years he threw me out for another woman but i had a hell of time trying to get over him, but i eventually did. Try dating other ppl that usually helps forget about that person. It gonna be hard but u have to try! I hope it works out for you!
2007-07-29 00:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by www.myspace.com/devilishvixen21 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too Bad.Sorry To Hear That
2007-07-29 00:58:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋