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ok i was sitting in the back yard with my friends and they asked me when was i going to have sex and i said "when i'm married so i'm sure that the guy likes me and doesn't leave me" and they were like "But that's no fun you'll be stuck with the same guy". they also were trying to get me to smoke. Wha do I do? I don't want to tell my mom cause she'll make a big deal out of it.

2007-07-28 16:03:07 · 30 answers · asked by Im not T 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Adolescent

I'm 15 and I don't plan on having Sex any Time soon

2007-07-28 16:11:31 · update #1

30 answers

I think you are wise. I don't think they are your friends though. I think you should choose better friends that will both respect you, and build you up. You are very mature to wait for marriage for a sexual relationship, and yes, that is the way it should be. And you are very wise for refusing to smoke.

Stay strong!

2007-07-28 16:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by kicking4jc 4 · 2 0

WWHHHOOOOOO we have a REAL woman here ladies, YES she knows what she wants, knows what she wants from her Man, and isn't letting any trash talken friends bring her down YES!!! You go GIRL!!!! You rock

I only wish I had learned how to rock when I was that young. You are too cool.. as for the trash talken friends.. they can just keep stepping. Yes everyone needs there own fan club of friends to give us support help us when we are down and help us find the ground when we are falling. But hon, if they are the friends that are kicking you off the wall and down the pit, then I don't think they are the friends you need. As for being stuck with the same guy, NO WAY is it boring. I did have sex when I was a teen. I can't say I ever truly orgasimed, or felt great about myself for spreading my legs. I finally stopped looking for love in all the wrong places. Met a wonderful man, we have been together for 13 yrs. We met when I was 18, and I only wish that I could say I have only ever known him, could say I only gave my heart and body to him and not all these other jerks, he deserves that. And the sex even 13 yrs later is AWESOME so much better than I ever had before. We keep wondering when this whole sex life dying down thing after marrriage will happen. We have decided it has somewhat.. Only 4-5 times a week instead of 7-10. Roughly. So don't worry about only knowing one man, and only one man knowing you. That is how it should be. As for your mom, you don't have to tell her but she would be proud of what you did. You can just do what another friend of mine that is your age did. His friends wanted him to do some stuff he wasn't supposed to and did not want to do, so he would only hang out with them in the house where his mom was. He didn't make it obvious, just played computer games and watched movies and stuff. After a while,like a few months his mom finally figured out something was up. She asked and he said he just didn't like the way they were talking and choose to sit where they wouldn't talk that way. After a year or so, he made new friends kinda grew away from those other friends. He told his mom one day and I don't think I have ever seen anyone so proud of there teen.

You go girl you rock..

Christal

2007-08-04 02:52:44 · answer #2 · answered by growinup 3 · 3 0

I told my children that when they were offered a cigarette to just say..."I have a history of asthma and smoking would kill me." One of them actually did but still it gives you a 'way out' without making you feel 'out of the loop.' I know how important it is to feel like 'one of the gang.'
As for the sex question, not knowing your age it's harder to give you advice on that one. However, you could try saying something like, "Maybe, but at this time that's how I feel. I guess when I meet the right one I'll decide then."
Those are just suggestions. As for your friends trying to get you to smoke, even good friends will do that because they don't want to be the only ones. The Asthma thing worked for two of mine and my other child just stood his ground and he was still respected.
Some day you encounter the 'take a drink' scenario also so just think ahead how you will respond to these types of situations. A response like....tried it and didn't like it...is in my own opinion an okay lie if it gets you out of an uncomfortable position.

2007-07-28 23:35:56 · answer #3 · answered by Trish 2 · 0 0

You were right to not want have sex until you get married. Some people think sex is about having fun,and doing it before marriage so they won't have to make a commitment to each other. God wanted marriage to be holy,and he meant marriage to be for life and fornication(sexs before marriage)is wrong. You need to make sure of course though that you marry a good guy,and don't marry for sex or worrying the whole time he's going to leave you high and dry. You have to know what kind of guy he is before you marry him.And about them trying to get you to smoke... tell them you don't do that. And it's more than likely they will pressure you to try to do it or make fun because you won't,but just keep your ground and stand up for what you believe in. They will stop eventually,and something Iv'e learned is somewhere along the line they will admire you for standing firm to what you say you believe.

2007-07-28 23:28:53 · answer #4 · answered by *Country Girl* 2 · 1 0

Wow - Sounds like a big problem. Friends are not suposed to pressure you, or put you down because you don't want to do exactly what they want to do. I'd try explaining to your friends that you wan't to save something special for the one you love - when you are ready. As for smoking, it's downright WRONG for fifteen year olds to smoke. I know that no one wants to be the "good" one, but I just wouldn't accept the cigarette. You don't have to pressure them to stop, but let them know that smoking is totally dumb, act like the movies, or hanging out in other ways are cooler than smoking. I once had a best friend who took the bus and some kids on her bus tried to get her to smoke...And everytime she refused, they would leave her alone. Slowly, their friendship ended because she didn't want to end up with the wrong crowd. I'm sure you don't want to give up your friends because they smoke, so I would talk to someone you trust about what's going on.

GOOD LUCK! =D

2007-08-02 17:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by ME<3 2 · 0 0

Okay, I'll do that, if you go jump off the Empire State Building.

Tell them this is a very personal choice, and you don't want to discuss it with them.

Sounds like you're a pretty solid clear-headed kid, and are just hanging around these kids because you're bored. It doesn't sound like they're going to influence you.

You've got the right idea, and you'll be glad of it when they are on husband #3 with babies from different men, looking like a hag from smoking so many years.

I'm proud of you for resisting the flow and standing for what you think.


TX Mom
E-mail me anytime, sweetheart

2007-08-05 21:05:42 · answer #6 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 1 0

smoking is stupid.
ive been peer pressured into trying it,
but i still havent.
although one time i came close.
but when they put the cigarrete to my mouth, i blew instead of sucked on it.
(yes, that sounds gross i know),
but anyways, i havent had sex either.
dont tell your mom.
she probably wont let you be friends with them anymore.
but do you really want to be friends with people that try to get you to mature just because they have?
or do things just because they are too scared to?
if those are some of the reasons, maybe they arent your real friends.
oh, and to avoid the whole smoke thing,
prove to them that it is stupid.
or just tell them no.
its really easy actually.
i have been proven its stupid by many ways.
1, its on the side of the cigarrete box, it says may cause lung diseases.
2, my grandfather died from it. of a terrible lung disease, but not cancer.
3, my moms teath are almost green, because of smoking.
and there are more reasons that you shouldnt let them convince you into having sex at a young age.
i mean, sure, the guy can wear a condom and all, but what if it tears? or rips? or whatever?
and then something gets inside you, and you 'accidentally' get pregnant?
it sounds like your at a young age when parenting is not a question.
and so you dont have to give in, or give up your friends because of it.
you just dont do what they are trying to get you to do.

2007-07-28 23:32:09 · answer #7 · answered by <3ashli. 2 · 0 0

They're right...you'll be "stuck" with the same guy and "stuck" with no diseases and all of your virtue and pride.

I tell my daughters that when a decent girl has sex with a man she literally gives a piece of herself away. You are connected and it is emotionally and spiritually deep. It's not the same as a hug or kiss.

Some wonderful man will be thankful for you one day. I wish I had had your character at such a young age. I'm proud of you!

2007-08-05 21:59:20 · answer #8 · answered by tambos67camaro 5 · 0 0

look sweetie most ppl do wanna wait until they're married but
studies show that 9 out of 10 woman born after then 1940s
have sex before marriaqe.
if you wanna be the 1 then qo ahead no one's stoppinq you
i wish you the best of luck on not havinq sex

2007-07-28 23:27:08 · answer #9 · answered by Katherine/Katie 2 · 1 0

Im not T, Sweety I am 47 and I am proud of you ! Stand up and start a revolution. Virginity is the greatest gift two people can give one another on their wedding night ! Jesus loves you and so do I.

2007-08-02 14:58:25 · answer #10 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 2 0

dont ever accept a cig from them! just always rufuse! at my school some popular girls smoked. they never offered me one, (i wasnt "cool" enough) so i never told anyone. it was their own business and their own life they were ruining. finally after they got one of my friends to smoke, i decided to do something. i got a whole bunch of popular girls who DIDNT smoke and told them my plan. we walked around together and laughed and talked and chewed gum, and finally one smoker came up to us in the bathroom and offered us some cigarettes.
i looked back at them and said "we think that cigarettes are so NOT cool anymore. dont u know anything about curent trends? cigs are SO 20 years ago."
it was soooo funny! all of the smokers just looked at their cigarettes in disgust! some of them put them out and threw them away. the my friend was the first to throw hers down. i was so proud!
one of the girls who didnt smoke just tossed them a pack of gum and said "gum is in now." and we left. a lot of those girls never smoked again. peer presurre works wonders. u should try something like this.

2007-07-29 05:35:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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