i've been married to my wife for 3 years now. we have 4 children together also. it seems that we are just the co-parents of these children. everything revolves around the children that we are just coming across as an old grumpy boring couple. we each sit at seperate ends of the sofa and reminice about the days when each of us had a life. we are like strangers put together and we both seem to dislike being together even though neither will say it. we are just bored together. i have been chatting to women online to ease some boredom while my wife is at work. this is exciting to me. do all relationships frizzle like this one and are we doomed to be miserable for as long as we continue going?
2007-07-28 13:49:57 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Biologically, that's whats suppose to happen, all the sparks and attraction are in the beginning and then it all starts to die down becuase you have to focus on raising your children. You should make dates with your wife to rekindle that old flame :)
2007-07-28 13:53:05 · answer #1 · answered by ~~~Tara~~~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be putting your relationship with your wife first, then the children. It's best for the children this way.
Stop chatting with women online to 'ease the boredom'....
You may want to consider a counselor to help ya'll reconnect.
Your relationship in your marriage must be first priority.
2007-07-28 13:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by doublewidemama 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear this. Don't ever let your realtionship revolve around the kids, or at ANY point in time start talking to other women online. Put some effort into your relationship (Cook dinner for her, serve her breakfast in bed, or clean the house for her.) Get sometime alone with her so you can fall in love again. I Really hope you can ignite your love again!
2007-07-28 13:53:24 · answer #3 · answered by Ilovebeingme! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have just lost the sizzle in your romance part of your marriage. Arrange for a babysitter and take your wife out on a date. It is important that you two schedule alone time together each week. Your marriage is very important to your children so do all you can to make it strong and loving for them. A good book to read is The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage by Dr. Laura.
Good luck!
2007-07-28 13:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marraige with small children - yep it is alot of work.
I'm concern that you are forgetting that you only get out of life what you put into it. Love is not a feeling, it's a action. If you love your wife in action, the feeling will continue.
She's at work and your online chatting with other women? does this mean that there is not enough housework around to keep you from getting bored?
You might to decide to do 75 to 80% of the child care, house care and work and see if your relationship changes when your wife see's you stepping up to the role of husband and father, rather than whinner.
Also, being a daddy is the most important job in the world, and your kids deserve a mom and dad who live together, work together and both care for them... don't you want the very best for your kids?
Get off the computer and play games with your kids.
Your marriage sucks cause you let it!
2007-07-28 14:09:53 · answer #5 · answered by justusedoc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, of all you can't fix a marriage by adding more people to it. It seems like you just want our approval that what your doing is ok. Do you even want to try to fix it? If so, try going out with your wife ALONE. Parents need a break too. You need to remind each other what you mean to each other. If not, be honest with her maybe a separation or divorce is what you both want. Remember how much either of these is going to be on your wallet though. About 30% a paycheck.
2007-07-28 14:00:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both recognize that you're dissatisfied, then you need to do something about it. The two best things to do would be to either:
1. get some marriage counseling and see if you can't get your lives back on track, or
2. get a divorce.
If you think that you'd be staying in the marriage "for the kids" don't do them this disservice. The kids will grow up thinking that this is an ok way to have a relationship, with both parents resenting one another.
You need to put your marriage first and your kids second. Which is NOT to say that you should abandon the care of the kids, or that the kids should be neglected, but it means that you NEED to make time for your marriage again. A marriage counselor will help you to do this. I urge you to get in and see one as soon as possible.
2007-07-28 14:04:19 · answer #7 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
since you say you are busy co-parenting, you're probably both tired from taking care of the kids, working, household responsibilities, and don't take time out for yourselves as a couple.
if you both want to rekindle your marriage, you could start making a "date night" once a week or so -- do things together, even if it's the dishes.. maybe that sort of interaction would be helpful?
if all else fails, and you want things to get better in the relationship you could consider marriage counseling. therapists do offer a lot of help, when you work their program.
take care
2007-07-28 14:09:15 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No all marriages aren't like that especially that early in the marriage. You need to stop waiting on something to save your marriage. You need to be the one to spice things back up. No one will help your marriage and obviously your wife is just like you. Either get out now or start trying to save the marriage.
2007-07-28 13:54:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to regularly go on dates and get a babysitter to watch your children. Or better yet if you have grandparents who could watch them for a whole weekend it would give you both a break just to be alone together. The kids will grow up fast but if your marriage fizzles out then you won't have much left.
2007-07-28 13:54:33 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋