i have a wife of a year, shes been long distance but moving down here the 17th august from her family and hometown as we agreed upon before we were married. now at this point, as close as we are to the date, shes emotionally unnavailailable, short with me, does every single thing i ask from her the oppositte. texs me now more than talking on the phone. gets overly agitated from the littlest thing. wont directly answer me. all of this started a month ago. till the we were fine and happy. seems to me that she just cant leave her family, and shes 38, and is trying to push me away and to the point of me calling it off. am i an idiot to keep on her when she wants to be left alone???
2007-07-28 11:49:05 · 11 answers · asked by Jack 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello,
Like my hispanic wife tells me there is a saying in Spanish:
Un amor de lejos
Esta pendejos
which essentially means long distant relationships are an sob.
I am not clear here if you are married or going to get married.
What concerns me is that at 38 she has not cut the umbilical cord yet which indicates some sort of psychological problem or severe immaturity that needs attention. 17, even 20 I can understand but 38?
I had experience with other cultures where your potential girlfriend and future wife puts her family ahead of her mate. I had to get out of that situation fast. I have seen other friends in that sort of situation and all I'll say is that things did not fare well in the end.
Therefore I would suggest that if she doesn't change her attitude quickly I would face reality and look for someone else.
If you haven't married yet it is far less complicated to make the break now than wait till something happens after marriage and have to take on all the legalities and reprocussions of divorce.
Regards,
Michael
2007-07-28 13:27:39 · answer #1 · answered by Michael Kelly 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
38 is a grown adult woman. She's got a problem if she's emotional unavailable and basically ignores you. I think you made a mistake. A wife should be eager to be with her husband and start a life.
2007-07-28 19:10:00 · answer #2 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is scared to death of the upcoming change and is really having a hard time dealing with it and this is her inmature way of dealing with it. Only time will tell here if its all worth it unless youve had enough and the its still up to you Good luck
2007-07-28 18:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have some good answers here all ready, I can't add anything to this. But I wish you the best no matter what happens.
2007-07-28 19:05:34 · answer #4 · answered by kim t 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she is just having anxiety about the move once you guys are together it may be different. she is 38 though she is used to living a certain way and now its going to all change its scarey just give her time to deal
2007-07-28 18:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by jeanie730 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A mans point of view... move on... at 38 and still that close to family, you don't want her... to much baggage!!!
2007-07-28 19:04:03 · answer #6 · answered by prop4u 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i think you just need to lay it all out to her tell her all your feelings and fearsand ask her to share hers. She could be afraid of what she is getting into. her friends and family might not be to happy with her and we all know how they can influence somebodies attitude and thoughts. she might just need a little comforting about what she is gettng into and remember noone wants to leave a stable place for something they arent sure of .
2007-07-28 19:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by Ivorrie E 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems like she doesn't want to leave where she is at! YOu need to straight out ask if she wants to move in with you. Cuz if you don't talk to her before she comes down you might have a big mess on your hands.
2007-07-28 18:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by rosie 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
she is probably scared of leaving the one place she feels comfortable. instead of getting defensive, try to understand her. maybe you could even think about moving up to her, or both of you moving to a completly different city - then you can feel anxious and scared and vulnerable just like her.
2007-07-28 18:53:34 · answer #9 · answered by needtoknow 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You're an idiot for expecting her to pack up her life and move to you.
Why can't you meet her halfway? A marriage is based on 50/50 good or bad.
2007-07-28 19:05:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋