i been married now for 5yrs and im unhappy,reasons well my husband has cheating not once but 4 times during our marriage and i took him back . even when he told these women that he dont have kids when he does.now he works overseas indepentant contractor, i been on my own for 2yrs not to mention the times when he was in the miltary, i have gotten used to being alone with my kids, im no longer attracted to him anymore not because of the job ,because of all the pain i cant get over,one female basically found out where we lived just to see the lay out of our house, do i want to go thru all this again? pretending i want this marriage to work for my kids sake. i want to find happiness and real love but scared cause he took care of me and the kids, im 41 yrs old whos gonna hired me but i dont want to stay in someone im not happy with . i just got over someone who broke my heart he moved to miaimi how do i deal with that as well .
2007-07-28 09:14:00 · 10 answers · asked by jazzlblue2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can file for divorce, consult a family divorce lawyer. Find out if you can get the house, custody of the kids. You can get child support and if you have been married to him long enough you can get alimony. You can be hired at 41, my co worker was 49 when she got hired. Go back to school, take night courses if necessary. Education will get you the job. There are many people in college older than your self this day. You can do it.
Doesn't sound like he has been around much anyway, the kids are probably already used to him being out of the picture. Get counseling for them, so they don't think it's their fault. He may have to pay for that too. Kids are also smarter than you think and they don't need to think you put up with disrespect like your husband has been doing to you, from anyone.
Start trying to find out what you want from life, you have been living for your husband and family a long time, you probably don't even know what you would like to do. Go out and discover the world, there are so many new and wonderful things to do out there.
2007-07-28 10:00:45 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had issues as well with my VERY SOON TO BE EX coming in the house at all hours, not keeping a job, going to jail atleast twice a year ( that's the short list)......I got tired of the crap! I had alot of faith that our relationship could stand to wait until he grew up and made ME a priority. Guess what!? It never happened. And it probably wont happen with your husband either. Sometimes you just gotta do what you NEED to do to offer your kids a mother who is NOT COMPROMISED on a regular basis. You deserve to be happy! And even the Bible does not say you have to stay married to a cheater.....technically it allows for a divorce under these circumsatnces. Do what is best for you! Your kids will benefit as soon as they have their mother back completely! They should already be used to him not being there physically......NOW is the time to be honest with yourself and strive for your happiness. Only you can make it happen.
I totally can relate to the job situation, i'm facing going back to work after 4 years of unemployment. It's scary I know, but it MUST happen. Dont hold onto this guy for your kids....they and YOU deserve better. Onward and upward! There are better things that await you..... just trust that God will provide for you and your children.....not any MAN!
Sometimes we women just need to know that we are making the right decision and I am offering an ear to listen. If you'd like to chat, I'm here. Sounds like we're facing some of the same things-----A Nucklehead that supports us, feeling the need to move on, and finding a job. Good luck to you! God Bless!
2007-07-28 09:51:42 · answer #2 · answered by FemFatale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 41 as well and married a jerk. I have 3 kids by him, of course u don't stay with someone cuz of the kids. grow up and do what u need to do as a single parent. u don't even need another man in your life right now. It sounds like u need to get your own life together before u add more drama to it.
2007-07-28 09:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by Kitty A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hunny, this is very unfortunate situation. You two are already living seperate lives, divorce is inevitable. You deserve much better and so do your kids! You are not too old to be hired either! You already know what misery is, give your family a chance to improve, you won't do that with where you are now.
2007-07-28 09:37:29 · answer #4 · answered by help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cant have it all girl.
Either you divorce him and find a job and start a new life.
OR...
You continue in this love less marriage and be comfortable surrounded by the things that money can buy.
2007-07-28 12:54:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems to me there is no marriage anyway, so why stay so you can be taken care of financially,its your responsibility to support yourself, and your children,with the help of child support and your job that your are more than able to get and keep,start small and work on your education ,your children will respect you more and you will respect your self more,,best of luck,,you can do it,,,
2007-07-28 09:48:32 · answer #6 · answered by victoria c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With as often as he is gone, it sounds like ya'll are already seperated....
I do not think you should stick around and put up with his bs any longer...
You deserve better especially after what he put you thru...
Start divorce proceedings...
2007-07-28 09:22:26 · answer #7 · answered by boomquisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling.
2007-07-28 09:19:56 · answer #8 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him friendly,explain your feeling clearly,and your proposal.Analyze the reasons for your proposal,and that you don't love him anymore.He will understand.
2007-07-28 09:23:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
without conflict NOt gonna happen..just ask for it
2007-07-28 10:14:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋