In the American culture a man that marries a woman with young children will raise them as his own and in later years treat their children as his grandchildren. We typically dont make a distinction between "step" and "blood" in terms of children. My brother married a filipina from the Visayan region and she wants him to stop his contact with his grandson from a previous marriage because they are not related by blood. My brother has not been receptive to this request at all. Can someone tell me about the filipino culture with regards to this issue and do you think his new wife is incorrect in her interpretation. He thinks its an issue with her and not the culture.
2007-07-28 08:30:49 · 7 answers · asked by Homer 2 in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Philippines
Yes it's true blood is thicker than water BUT love conquers all! As far as I know, the Filipino culture does NOT distinguish between "step" and "blood" either. Children are children - whether yours, mine or ours. And their children are OUR grandchildren, no matter from what branch of the tree they are.
Far be it from me to judge your sister-in-law but there must some other circumstances why she isn't allowing her husband to make contact with a grandson from a previous marriage. What I can tell you with certainty is there's nothing in our culture that makes a distinction between "yours" and "mine" --- in marriage, everything becomes "ours".
We strongly believe in the extended family system. I fact, it is not unusual for us to regard non-blood related people as part of our family. Everyone is "uncle" and "aunt" to everyone. This is the Filipino way.
Just maybe, MAYBE okay, her adamance stems from the fact that the grandson is from another race. But that doesn't make sense at all. The fact that she married your American brother means she's okay with inter-racial relationship. And I sure hope she realizes that this entails "being civil" also with her husband's relatives.
I'm afraid I don't know how else to explain her behavior. For sure, it's not a cultural thing (not even a regional thing). There must be other factors that is known only to her and the husband. So not knowing the full story, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.
2007-07-28 10:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 12⤊ 0⤋
the reason why American culture is more receptive to "step-children and step- grandchildren" would be because of the high rate of divorce and separation which is a more common phenomenon in America than in the Philippines. although we are catching up to the Americans, i believe in a few years time our attitudes towards them would be similar to the Americans.
i saw on tv last night about a Japanese married to a Filipino with a three year old daughter from a previous relationship. he beat to death the child and is now in Philippine jail. i think of it as sweet revenge for a foreigner to be in Philippine jail for killing a three year old. that is besides the point, but we do need to be aware of situations like these.
2007-07-28 14:45:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is not something that falls under "culture" I guess. The way the "steps" are treated would depend on how the members of the family are brought up, how educated these people are, and most importantly, the circumstances around the "steps". Usually, the relationship is bad if the protagonists did not handle the matter well.
2007-07-31 16:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by boyplakwatsa.com 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Inday , theres probally more going on than what we know. My guess would be its not because of the reasons you stated that she wants him to break ties with the non blood grandson.. Filipino women want to be sure that you are not still attached to any past romantic relationship.They will question it even if you have been divorced 5 yrs and not spoke to your ex in 4 years.Its difficult for them to imagine that you once loved someone and was married but now its totally over. I would guess this is her real concern.Not specificly the child.
2007-07-29 12:00:58 · answer #4 · answered by Balance 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you so not have to be american or filipino to be one or the other. you just have to be open-minded and be honest enough to reveal your past before you get into a relationship. it is harder if it is an interracial relationship because there will always be cultural, religous and ethical differences among the nationalities. putting all your cards on the table before getting serious will help. but then, having a long term premarital relationship is no guarantee either.
2007-07-29 16:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by akoni 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
inday is right. we dont distinguish step from blood children. we take them as our very own. try going abroad and have a very close friend with you there. you would likely introduce him/her as your cousin or relative.
your filipina sister-in-law is one isolated case. she might just be jealous because the grandson is somehow a link to your brother's past (ex-husband of the grandmother).
2007-07-28 15:32:31 · answer #6 · answered by Coy 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER.
THAT'S THE WAY IT IS!
Yehey, nauna uli ako.
2007-07-28 08:35:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
it's her idea. maybe she just don't want to appear as madrasta!
2007-07-28 17:54:05 · answer #8 · answered by junior 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋