I have a dilemma... He Busted me with my hidden pleasure HELP?

Question

Ok so when I got prego I quit smoking.
Then for some reason recently I had a few drags here and there.
Then I went and bought a pack and I've been hiding them.
Any how this morning I forgot to take them out of my purse and sure enough...
My husband came in and said can you explain this.
EEEK
Now he's pretty choked cause he doesn't want me to be a smoker. I don't want to quit though.
What should I do now?
He's still pretty upset and I want to kinda ration with him.
I just don't want him to be mad, but I'm not saying I'm going to stop either.
I am a grown adult, and it's my chose right?

Answer 1

its your choice, if you are paying for them he can be as mad as he wants, you are an adult. but he might just be worried about your health, but my thing is if you did it before you met him, then he doesnt have the right to ask you to stop, because he already knew. you were doing it for the health of your guys' baby, and he should respect your decisions if thats the only reason you quit in the first place.

Answer 2

Marriage involves lots of compromise and one of you is going to have to---gasp!, swallow your pride and try to do just that. Right, you're an adult and it's your choice, but you may have to choose between being married or single again.Try this on for size. If You smoked when you got together, then any cocession you make towards not smoking around him and the baby or even in the house should be good because he should already be used to smoke-breath and the stench it leaves behind and deqaling with second hand smoke. Because he dealt with it to pull you. However, If you didn't smoke before then he has a valid argument and should really pay more heed to his desire. Sounds like the 2 of you need to sit down and talk anyway because, if he's just going through your purse like that, you guys have some trust issues that need to be dealt with too and smoking in secret may be making him wonder what else you're keeping from him Good luck and take care,

askaman

Answer 3

My husband is a smoker & he's been promising me that he'll quit for years. Your husband just doesn't want to see you die. It's really painful to watch the person you love inhale cancer causing agents. You can't change people, so if he married you knowing you were a smoker, he should accept it, unless you promised him you'd quit. Think about why you like it so much. Is it calming? Maybe you need help w/ anxiety. Try getting a medication for it, like welbutern. It helps many to quit. Or does smoking keep you more busy? Maybe you could excercise everytime you get the urge. It's your right to chose however it breaks his heart. Not to mention, you probably wanna see your child graduate. What about when smoking takes a toll on your appearence & then your hubby is repulsed by you. Yellow teeth, brittle hair, stinky skin, clothes, mouth, wrinkles around your lips & not to mention how it ages you! If you want to keep him "into you", I'd quit! Good Luck!

Answer 4

Does this mean you are smoking while you are pregnant. Or are you saying you started smoking again after you gave birth?

If it's the latter, your husband will have to learn to accept it. He will not support it and he probably will continue to show disgust and hate towards that dirty habit because he probably cares about your health a lot. But it is ultimately your choice. However, smoking is very unhealthy for you in the long run and you might end up regretting not listening to your husband. With the knowledge we have of the effects of cigarettes, why would you continue to smoke?

I'd suggest you sit down with your husband and really talk about this. Don't try to appease him by saying you will quit but continue to smoke secretly. Try to have a constructive conversation where both of you will come to some sort of agreement.

But back to my first line. I hope you aren't smoking while you are pregnant. If you are, you are in the process of ruining the future of your child.

Answer 5

I am a smoker... but my x hubby was a smoker too.. but.. I too quit when I was pregnant.. twice.. but after the baby was born, both times I started right back up. I am not even going to read the nonsmoker comments here because they do not understand at all... but.. as a smoker, I really wanna quit.. but it is hard to do... I would not choose to smoke.. I think us smokers say we like to only because we really have a hard time stopping.. so we justify it by saying we want it.. we don't really want it, it really is a physical addiction.. the want we think we have, is actually a physical need.. I will always try to find ways to stop smoking.. I really can't stand nonsmokers who say stupid things.. and judge.. so I just ignore them.. but think about how much you really want to smoke vs need to smoke..My dad died last year from asbestosis lung disease.. he never smoked a cigarette once in his life time, and still died a terrible lung death... If your husband started hiding something that you didn't like, how would you react? Put yourself in his shoes. Maybe he wants you to be there with him forever.. and he is worried.. but don't hide it from him..Maybe if my husband was a nonsmoker, I would never have started smoking again after each baby was born.. ya know?? My next step is this new pill that is out.. prescription.. I just found out my health insurance pays 100% of it.. wish me luck..

Answer 6

Just decide what's more important your marriage or smoking. It's all about compromise. There really is no good reason to smoke and plenty not to, especially your child. Why don't you quit, and then save all the money you would spend on cigarettes to spend together with your husband or on something special for yourself.

Answer 7

Of course its your right, he just cares. I smoke also and my husband hates it. He begs me all the time to quit but I can't until I am ready. Whenever a commercial for someone with Cancer comes on he gets really sad. Its really hard to do and I can't do it until I am ready. Can you come to an agreement, like you will cut down? You have to tell him that you can't quit for him. It has to be something you are ready to do or it won't work. Its tough because he only cares because he loves you. I know how it is.

Answer 8

It'sa lousy addiction. And the hardest thing I had to do. NOT because I wanted to. But HAD to for my health. So now rather than a smoker and thin. I'm a miserable fat non smoker.
So do as you wish. But take it from one who knows, you WILL pay the price. Quit while you're still young. Good Luck! ;)

Answer 9

He is just seeing things from his point of view...sees you as hurting yourself and how it might hurt other people also....

...I have known people who loved smoking....so I know it is a real pleasure for many people and really hard to quit...and some people just don't want to quit....

...maybe you could smoke outside...and you are saying you have a baby on the way?...and it would help to not smoke around the baby....tell your husband you are willing to not smoke as much...or for your baby's health...and do that...that way it could be easier....in your situation...since he wants you to quit smoking....

Answer 10

Are you asking us to provide a choice between your marriage and your smoking habit? Ultimately it's your choice but I can't see risking a problem with your husband just because you want to risk your health.