Should I be ashamed of myself?

Question

According to someone in my family, I should be ashamed of myself for remaining in a childless marriage for 4 years. *GASP*

Apparently, I'm committing sin by not reproducing like rabbits. (no pun intended)

What is your take on this?

Yes, my family is religious.

Answer 1

What the heck? Be ashamed? That is your choice when you have your child. This is about the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I'd like to see how many children these people who are telling you should be ashamed have after 5 years of marriage, don't be ashamed.

Answer 2

Hi, I'm so sorry your feeling this way. College can be a confusing time in a persons life and it must have been so frustrating going through all this. The way you described your parents though seemed to be was understanding, because you said they said that they'd support you in whatever you chose to do. So if I were you I would talk it out with them and apologize about anything you said you wish you could take back. I know you can't physically take back what's been said and done (I know I've tried) but truthfully it sounds like right now you just need to vent to someone who can understand the whole situation and sympathize and give a new perspective by shining a different light on your unfortunate situation. So I would suggest that if you don't feel as if you can face your parents yet, talk to an uninvolved third party. Like a trusted Aunt or Uncle. Best friend perhaps? But talk to someone in person. Us people here on the Internet can only give our opinions based on what we've understood of what we've read. We don't know all the contributing factors sadly. But the advice I leave you with, if nothing else, is that the past is the past and we don't want to live with regrets. You are not stupid, and while you may have felt rash and childish because of your actions keep in mind you were thinking of your future. That is something admirable, a lot of people these days couldn't care less about theirs. Apologize to those you feel you've hurt and you'll feel better. But don't keep feeling this way, nobody deserves to feel this way. I hope I helped in anyway I could. Maybe some other people will have some advice too. Good luck.

Answer 3

No, you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. Everyone has different feelings, some may want kids, some might not. It is your choice and depends on what you want.

Your family may be offended, because if you are the youngest and they want the family to continue. They may also be offended because some people think the purpose of life is to bring more life into the world, but again, it all depends on how you feel and your choice.

Answer 4

NO you should not be.. not having kids is now the thing to do.. i think every married couple should have to wait 5 or more yrs so they can get there life together and know who they are and what they want then they can become a family if and when they choose.. not when other think they should.. and one other thing every couple should own a dog first see if taking care of a helpless being is what they want to do..

Answer 5

Geeze! That's pretty harsh. Some people have kids, some people don't. Some people want kids, others don't. I wouldn't give a flip what anyone in my family thinks. And no one else has a right to tell you how you should live your life or sit in judgment of you. I know someone like that, too. You should NOT fell any shame.

Answer 6

There is nothing to be ashamed of. Whatever the reason, that is for you to decide with your spouse and nobody else.
People's opinions are not the same as advice. Do not let it bother you. You have a right to live your life the way you see fit.

Answer 7

We no longer follow Old Testament laws and ideals or those of other countries where these believes are still held. The point of a marriage is love, if you have this you should have no shame.
Many marriages are missing this important aspect, even with children.

Answer 8

It is odd to see rabbits with no children, but sometimes people shouldn't have children...Not that they are bad people, just that they already know it's not something they would be good at or enjoy. Raising kids is not for us all...Thank goodness some of us know that before they have them.
The world is after all not hurting for people...Don't worry silly Rabbit!

Answer 9

Don't listen to them. I had a child out of wedlock when I was 19. At 21 I had cancer and could not have any more children. There is a reason for everything. Don't try to figure it out, it will become apparent someday.

Answer 10

I've gone the same route as you and I get constant guilt trips from my mother about not giving her any grandchildren, and when people ask me when I'm going to have kids and I say that I'm not going to, EVER... I get the plaintiff "But WHYYYYY?"

I don't HAVE to have kids. The world is already too overpopulated as it is. Besides that, I wouldn't want to have to put my child into a school system where mediocrity is rewarded.