I feel a little bit lonely...?

Question

Hi everyone, I was wondering if you could give me some advice?

A couple of years ago I felt I had to quit drinking as it was a bit of a problem for me. As a result of this I was rejected by my 'friends' who were calling me stupid and boring etc for stopping.

I have now developed a bit of a social anxiety type thing. I am 27 and it just feels like everyone my age just goes out drinking. When I'm out somewhere and I tell new people that I don't drink they just look at me like I'm weird and boring etc. This has led to me avoiding socialising on occasion as I don't like this feeling and it makes me feel really self-conscious and nervous.

Does anyone have any advice?? Sensible answers please!

Answer 1

why not start going to a gym, with all the money you save on drinking you can afford it, and you'll meet a whole new bunch of people
good luck

Answer 2

Heavy drinkers don't like their peers to stop drinking, it only forces them to confront their own bad habits, and everything this entails for them. I have encountered what you experience, and it is easier just to keep away from people who really are so insecure that they have to resort to drinking a lot in order to feel they're having a good time. I rarely drink myself, and don't take drugs, and yes I get funny looks, but I don't think about it, because I'm not the one with the problem. I have an addictive personality, but I don't indulge it.

You have made a decision that may have saved your health, if not your life, and good for you. Do you still have a good time when you go out (aside from the drunks thinking you must be boring if you don't drink)? If so, I think you should ignore their looks and focus on enjoying your night out. You are not the one with the problem - they are the ones who can't handle the fact that someone has chosen to look after their health and be different.

Just smile at them. In ten years they will look and feel like ****, and you won't.

Answer 3

You are mixing with the wrong kind of people. Your friends are the boring stupid ones because drinking is all their pea brains can think to do. Think of it this way it doesn't take a lot of thought or action to go down the pub and drink but if they were to take part in any kind of outdoor activity they would really have to make an effort and try to think for themselves. They probably wouldn't have the stamina to take part any way. Try to get into some sort of sport or maybe hill walking groups maybe just ramblers clubs. I know most of them will have a drink after a days activities but they wont ridicule you for not having alcohol I often just have coke anyway some of them have to do the driving so you see they dont all drink. You will like the crack(conversation) after a days walking. These people have a different mentality to the ones that just go down the pub and drink to get drunk.

Answer 4

These 'friends' that called you stupid or boring were certainly not friends in any sense of the word..........

Just because you don't need stimulation to make your life feel better there is nothing wrong with you. I don't drink when I go out either, but I phrase it differently and most of my friends love it because I drive them home. I always say that I'd rather not drink as I am saving my money plus I get terrible hangovers. In truth I just don't feel the need for it and caffiene makes me a litte crazy so all I need is a Coke and I am off!

So from now on, go out with people, but tell them you are driving, or that you are detoxing! Don't let it put you off and at the end of the day you can have a real laugh at their expense when they are drunk and being stupid.

Answer 5

I totally understand where you are coming from. I didn't use to drink at all and I still don't drink usually because I really don't like the taste very much or the feeling of not being in control. People I know treated me like a freak(I have understanding people around me now). However i find if, rather than saying 'I don't drink', I say 'sorry I'd love to but i'm driving' they don't look at me like I'm mad and they don't put pressure on me like they did before. :-) just a hint, and never give up on what you beleive in or what you feel is best for you.

Answer 6

Hi. I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. I don't think the people you went around with were your friends, more like drinking companions. If they had been real friends they would have understood, after all there are plenty of non
alcoholic drinks about.
Your liver is going to be in a much better shape than theirs, and probably your brain too.
You can still socialise,just say what you want to drink, you don't have to explain why.

Answer 7

perhaps youre hanging around the wrong people. not everyone drinks. look for people who either don't drink, don't need to drink to have a good time, or won't ditch you/think any less of you because you don't drink. there are people out there like that, i assure you. if you cant find anyone like that, go buy a pet, preferrably a cat or a dog [i like cats better]. theyre not just animals, owners of pets say their pets are their friends. plus, cats/dogs feel when their owner is sad or upset and they try to make em feel better. if you don't wanna get a pet, and you can't find anyone where alcohol doesn't run their lives, get a hobby. do something that doesn't require other people, or go to an event where there are other people and try to make friends. if none of these work, or if you just dont wanna try em out for various reasons, sorry. good luck anyway

Answer 8

Are you sure this is the real problem? I used to drink, but stopped as I got a bit older as didn't want the extra calories and didn't think I needed a drink to socialise. I don't tell people straight away that I don't drink, but maybe have one drink with new friends, and as they get to know me better they don't give two hoots whether I drink or not. Another friend of mine doesn't drink either as she does training and it will affect her ability.

We are both 26. Seriously don't worry about it - be yourself, but maybe don't be totally upfront with new people - wait till they get to know you a bit better. It's unfortunate but people do tend to judge.

Answer 9

Good for you - you've decided on a decent, healthy lifestyle - they're the ones who'll be regretting not doing that in years to come. You're better off without 'friends' like that - they sound like losers anyway. Don't let their shallowness make you feel self conscious - you've no reason to.
You'll find like-minded friends soon enough. Just think of your own hobbies or interests that you'd like to pursue and the internet is great for finding all sorts of local clubs - there's nothing you can't find on Google!

Answer 10

Look at it this way. When you wake up in the morning you are ull of ebergy,no hangovers, clear head. Your drinking buddies spend loads if money on drinks, throw up and spend the next day feeling awful.
I dont drink and I still go out and have a good time. some people feel that they have to be drunk to be interesting

Answer 11

as a count of certainty, if in any season, Jesus wasn't born in wintry climate: shepherds do no longer carry their sheep out in wintry climate, as an occasion, so December twenty 5th is least possibly to be his birthday. besides, i'm no longer feeling lonely. For one factor, i admire my very own enterprise better than every physique else's so I infrequently experience loneliness ^_^ and likewise, I even have my acquaintances and kin to speak to in the present day. i'm an atheist, and that i rejoice Christmas as a pageant of kin, acquaintances and love. I rejoice peace in the international, and that i exceptionally understand that on Christmas Day, to rejoice that factor, the Germans and the Brits stopped combating interior the trenches of WW1 to play soccer with one yet another. If we are so unfastened, why does God threaten us with everlasting damnation if we ever stepped a toe out of line? Woah, what a bully. Jesus feels like a advantageous guy, yet he's in simple terms yet another guy to me, and why might I rejoice the beginning of somebody who died in simple terms approximately 2 thousand years in the past? what's the factor?