i am 35 and happily single...?

Question

i am a trainer for a corporate house and one of my girl students is almost fatally attracted to me.the prob is shes just 18 ..and that is NOT the worst part

Her mom is only 2 yrs older than me and she and I know each other for ages coz we went to the same school

the kid wont take no for an answer ..and I AINT interested AT ALL

plz advise.

well ..for all those who cared to reply.I now have to tell u that shes threatened to slit her wrists if I dont agree to marry her..and NO she doesnt have my cell phone number /mail address

it becomes complicated when u learn that her mom finds nothing wrong if i marry her

Answer 1

We might need more details here. When you say "fatally attracted" are we talking about a mad crush or is she actually stalking you? Either way this could get complicated. You need to have a talk with her and just give her the strong low down that you are not interested. If that still doesn't work, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you got the "kavorka" working in your favor.

Answer 2

It looks like just a "hint" isn't penetrating her little pea brain. Try a more direct approach.

How ridiculous of her to tell you that she will slit her wrists if you don't marry her. Don't let her intimidate you. She is just being manipulative.

I have been through the same. This is how I handled it:
I was so brutally honest about my lack of interest in him, that I got really blunt and really rude. The reason that this works so well in a situation like yours is because the person is now hurt and angry, instead of being delusional, and ready to die to have her way. You would be yanking her back into reality. It is a distraction mentally for her, and it redirects her emotions. She will now think: "that son of a *****, that *******, why was I ever attracted to him in the first place! He's an a******. I'm glad I didn't do anything stupid to myself for that jerk!"

It worked for me every time.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Mary Grace's answer is right. Your student has gone over the line when she's made threats to harm herself. With behavior like that, she may actually have a mental illness. She certainly has some traits of mental illness.

In order to protect yourself, you should discuss this with your direct supervisor and the human resources department at your job. Tell her that you have done so, with no explanation or apology.

She is not respecting the boundary that you are trying to place between you. You're the adult here and you must behave as such. State to her directly and clearly, as you did here, that you are not interested in being involved with her and that she is not to talk about it again. Better yet, have HR confront her.

You really must protect your job and reputation. Don't allow yourself to be around her without someone else present. Don't continue as her trainer.

Answer 4

Does the girl knows about you and her mom? Maybe is time for you to tell her that you know her mom from way before she was even in the picture. Maybe(hopefully) she will get the picture that you are not interested in a girl her age. Besides you are paying too much attention to the girl is obvious she's got your soft side because you said that she won't take no for an answer that is just not possible if you are not interested in her just tell her straight in her face and don't worry about crushing her heart, believe me she will get over it...Good Luck

Answer 5

I'd say stay away!!! Sucks for her, she'll just have to learn how to accept it. As a female I can tell you for sure that any attention to give to a girl like this will surely be seen by her as acknowledgement of her feelings and total reciprocity. There is no way around this, as even saying NO may still be interpretated as validation for her feelings. What I tell friends who encounter male friends of theirs who crush on them, etc. is that you really do have to be cruel to be kind. You have to be totally up front about the fact that it ain't gonna happen, no way, no how. If you try to be nice about it, she'll think you're playing hard to get or just hiding your inner feelings. I know that to a guy that sounds silly, but to a teenage girl (18=adult my a*s, she's just a baby!) it's not only plausible, but probable and extremely romantic.

I would refer her to another trainer and not work with her anymore. If it continues on past that, it probably wouldn't hurt to talk with her mom. (I swear, I'm only 27 and even I can't believe I wrote that, but desperate times call for desperate measures and the mom should be able to best help you know how to handle this.)

It sounds like a very uncomfortable situation, good luck with it!

Answer 6

This is sexual harassment if this is a true story.
Obviously the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree (her mother sees no issue)
Next time she threatens to slit her wrists, call the police and tell them she is threatening suicide. Then they will place her in a therapeutic atmosphere. This should change her attitude. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 7

Well then have a talk with the mother since you seem to know her socially. Let her know you don't want her daughter to get hurt but you are quite happy with your life as it is. Make it sound like you're only thinking of her daughter's heart. Then disregard any attention from the daughter except those related to the job. Do not reply to e-mails, text messages, block her as the sender if possible, delete cellphone messages, etc unless they are related to work.

Answer 8

Can you have her transferred to another class? I would advise your supervisor what is going on. Also sounds like you should get away from her mom too! Inform her that this is what sexual harassment lawsuits are based on, you could lose your job, etc. Good luck!

Answer 9

Just keep saying no.
What, are you too weak to resist an 18 year old GIRL?
And whatever you're doing to lead her on or flirt with her, stop doing it.

EDIT:
Okay, more serious than it first sounded. You should have mentioned the slitting-wrists part!

Call the police and tell them this girl has threatened to kill herself unless you marry her. She needs psychological help. Whatever you do, don't give in ... can you imagine being married to a mentally disturbed girl you don't love, who will threaten suicide every time you don't do what she wants? You aren't responsible for her behavior! She should be dismissed from whatever program you teach, for obvious reasons.

Answer 10

In the corporate world there is an easy out...Human Resources! They can refer her to an EAP program for much needed assistance. Be the adult and professional that you need to be here.