Life sucks?

Question

Things have been bad for me lately. As hard as I try to be optimistic, follow my heart, and work hard, things just don't work out.
A little history of my life
ages 0-16: get beaten up by my mother, abused physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally, psychologically.
Age 16: Meet the "love of my life", go into the foster system.
age 16-18: Go through more abuse while in the system, as well as my boyfriend and his family claiming to want to take me in and love me
age 19: graduate and move out into a crappy transitional living program in the middle of nowhere, get my heart broken by the "love of my life", and find myself completely alone. Ex claims to be friend and instead just messes with me to be cruel and hurt me again.
At this point I'm pretty much a loner, I have few friends; all of which are moving on with life. I hate my job, I struggle to get by, I'm lonely, and in two years I have to move out and I have no idea where I'll go. I've tried so hard but nothing works out.
Advice?

Answer 1

God bless you honey, you have been through hell but life doesn't have to continue that way. Your first step is to get out of the "poor me, I'm a victim." way of thinking. From the time you were born till age 16 you had no choice. You WERE a victim but as would be so predictable in so many children in your circumstance, you fell in love way too early in life and had to find out the hard way. Positive thinking means you must constantly stamp out negative thoughts. It's something that doesn't come naturally, you really have to work at it. The more you can stop negative thoughts, the easier it gets until they stop showing up altogether. Positive thinking is not easy, you have to work at it at first. It doesn't mean you have to always think good thoughts, it's all about telling the bad thoughts that they aren't welcome and to stay the hell away from you, even for a second.

You don't know how lucky you really are at this point because you have no children to be responsible for, only yourself. Take that responsibility and do something with it. What is it you really care about doing? Take a hour or two of quiet time and devote it to just sitting and thinking about where you want your life to go. This is very important for without some reason to live you just go drifting along at the mercy of whoever or whatever happens to you. Determine not to let that happen to you.

From now on, get rid of the victimhood mentallity and swear to be responsible for your own life from now on. That means that whatever happens from now on, either for good or bad is strictly your own doing. And don't blame your past anymore because that is an easy cop-out. When your past crops up, chase it away. Literally say to yourself, "Stop damn it, I'm not listening anymore. Get away from me."

When you have an idea of where you want your life to go, ask yourself how you are going to get there. Do you need to attend community college and take some courses to get a better job? Do it, no excuses, no waiting. Move forward and stop thinking of the past forever. Many (most) people are in jobs they hate but are not clear on where their lives are headed and they just languish in those jobs for years. Don't be one of those.

You want a better relationship? The ideal would be to wait until you have your life straightened out as far as a good job and some money in the bank. The idea here is that you don't have to depend on someone for your own security and happiness. Stay away from the "bad" boys and the "mammas" boys, those who would make you feel like a really special girl but sponge off you the rest of their lives.

Did I help you? I hope so. But, remember, you have to help yourself from now on. Get tough about it and tell this creep that keeps getting the free sex to blow!

Answer 2

yeah, your past sucks. Lonely is a difficult place to be. There is no quick fix. In time, if you stay on the right track, all the good you have perservered in doing will blossom in your favor. You will have some difficulty with personal relationships, and no wonder why, but may I suggest some counselling for those issues. I know you have heard "Take one day at a time" so try that until your life stabilizes or even just 1 hour at a time if you handle that better. If you have any time or energy left over in your week, volunteering for a cause you are interested in will give you some company with people you have something in common with. It won't stop the lonliness, but it will take the edge off it. Good wishes for your better future.

Answer 3

Life is hard. Your life reminds me of my own. I am 25 now and things are looking up, but I still have problems that I really could do with out. I went through the same things you did. The only difference was I was locked up for 2 years for saling drugs. I wanted to give up on life several times, but I kept going. I have seen things that a normal person could not handle. I have done things that still haunt me to this day. I finally realize if you keep living in the past you will go no where in the future. I am a HVAC Engineer now making great money, married and getting ready to have another kid, my first with my wife. It took me awhile to realize this, but put your faith in God. He will not give you more than you can handle, but just because you pray and have faith does not mean your life will be perfect. I wish you all the luck in the world, and if you need to talk to someone that has been there, you can e-mail me at [e-mail]. Keep your head up and don't give up, accept the things you can and can not change.

Answer 4

Thing can go wrong sometimes,but let me tell you something;
just to be alive is a miracle and remember you are not alone:"I'm the father of the fatherless".
is writing in the bible, the best best-seller of all time.
So you are not alone, BELIEVE, that is something great waiting for you,you are special and all that happened to you was just a re-hersal in your life to make you strong, thing POSITIVE wherever your mind achieve you can conceive; you can move forward just thinking positivie and focus in what you want and how to get there.
Whatch the video " The Secret" actually is available for rent at blockbuster.Don't give up, control your life doing positive thing for you and do not waiste your time, take the people who hurt you out of your life FOREVER,and do not look back.
Focus in what you want and JUST DO IT,DO NOT GIVE UP.Don't worry for the future,changing your present you'll cange your future,try to learn something that you love to do, to work and be happy with wherever you do,there are so many fun things to do and help other.
Remember you are not alone.
Good luck, do not forget to rent "the secret"

Answer 5

Look at the bright things. There are so many kids including you who have gotten abused by their parents. Thank God you are still alive. And this "love of your life" can go f**k it cause you dont need him and there are BETTER guys out there. If you dont like your job, look for something you might like, and if you need a degree to get that job, go to university or college cause you are never too old to learn. Have an icecream-only friends date with all ur gals and enjoy that night :)

Answer 6

Don't aggressively try to make friends, thats out. Instead, try to focus on things that you like doing and maybe you'll meet some like minded people. Save, save , save as much of your money as you can, while you're suffering, so that when you break out of this rut, you'll have a few finances to fall back on. The fact that your few friends are moving on in life should say to you that it's time you did the same. Don't allow yourself to be left behind and cast aside like so much garbage! You are a human being, start by loving yourself more and, if financially possible, do more things for yourself to prepare you to find a new road to travel. One that's less painful to your poor lil' feet. You've walked a hard path and its time for you to start doing a better job of------------and this is the voice of experience speaking so listen closely, "LOOKING OUT FOR NUMBER ONE!" So many people, in our quest to be everything they want us to be, we forget how to make ourselves happy, and that's what you need to relearn. Good luck and hit me back if you want at, [e-mail].

askaman

Answer 7

Well I would run away but that's just me just hang In there ok don't give up never call 911 maybe and if your just wait I few more years then you can go to college if you don't want to call 911 I hope I help

Answer 8

Damn :( I can see why you're so overwhelmed. And you're still so young. That's a hell of a lot to go through.

I wish I could say something that would magically erase the past, but I can't. The previous posters have given great advice. I'm not sure what I can add, but I'll try. I just wanted to let you know that your story touched me deeply and that I'll be praying for you.

You need a plan. See if you can get grants to attend your local community college. If not, go ahead and get some loans. You just don't want to take out too much, but at some point you'll need some financial aid to get through, as many of us, including myself, have had to do. Go talk to them and see what your options are. Get started with your education there since it's much cheaper than a university. If you haven't graduated from high school yet, get a GED book from your local library and study for it. Take it as soon as possible so that you can move on.

While there, get involved in school activities and make an effort to meet people. Since all your friends have moved or are busy or whatever, making friends who are doing what you're doing, i.e. attending the same college, will give you a new lease on life and you'll have something in common with them. Remember, there are other people in similar situations who are also trying to make new friends. And I bet with everything you've gone through, you're a very kind and understand person, and would therefore make an excellent friend. Get involved in clubs and organizations. Just join as a member first to get acquainted. You'll meet more people that way.

Focus hard on school. Major in something you enjoy. If you're not sure what to do, google "what can I do with an International studies/history/English, etc. degree" and see what comes up. Also, this website offers detailed information for tons of careers: http://www.bls.gov/oco/

Once you know what you're doing and you've been able to formulate a plan and put it in motion, you'll start to feel more secure. If things go wrong, as they will in life, dust yourself off and keep moving. Don't be too hard on yourself. You've been through a lot and you're doing this on your own. But please believe that it's doable. It will be difficult, but not impossible. Remind yourself that you deserve everything good on this planet.

If you can get started this fall, you can transfer from the community college into your public university around the two year break you have to make. Try to find as much scholarship money as possible, and take out loans to pay for the rest of your tuition, fees, etc. There, live on-campus. No, you won't be too old, so please don't let that hold you back. Plenty of people live on campus in their 20s, so don't worry about that. You'll have a roof over your head, you won't need a car to get to class, you'll meet some interesting people in your dorm and you can walk to an on-campus job. This dream is doable. Just take it one step at a time.

Right now, start figuring out the community college thing and look for a better job that you might enjoy. Also, if you're not sure yet, start researching careers so that you can figure out what to major in in college. You want a career so that you don't end up going from job to job. It'll also give you a sense of direction and make it easier to make decisions in the future. Pick something you'll enjoy and decide that you're going to become very skilled at that. Keep asking questions here whenever you feel lost and keep researching your future options. Start visualizing yourself happy and successful and work hard to reach that goal. You deserve it. You are a survivor. You will look back on all this one day and be very proud of yourself.

Regarding your ex-boyfriend, hopefully you keeping busy formulating and putting into action a plan will keep you busy and therefore have less time to think about him. In time, you WILL get over him and you WILL meet someone who truly loves and appreciates you for who you are. Things WILL get better. I know that it doesn't feel that way right now, but they will.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to click on my profile and email me. I'll do my best to help you. *big hug*

edit: If you ever doubt your self-worth, because I know I would if I was in your place, please re-read this page to see the essays all these people have written for you because we believe that you are worth it and much, much more. Take good care of yourself out there.

Answer 9

I very understanding your issues, sometime i felling in the suffer condition, like your too but i don't know what really to do, hope there some day a solutions for us.

Answer 10

omg, im TERRIBLY sorry!!! im praying for u as i type this. this seems like u need some privacy when talking to someone, so u can e-mail me ANYTIME at [e-mail]