whenever he has done something to upset me or his son he will never apologize even when he knows he is at fault and he expects me to go running after him and make up, i dont want to do this anymore as i think this is what he expects me to do. does any body know what i should do to shock him? also believe me he will wait it out days , weeks and months. and if he ever does come back first he will always ask me would i have gone and got him eventually? why does he ask this?
2007-07-28 03:32:53 · 5 answers · asked by dingalo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You could have two separate issues here that may or may not be related. My first suggestion is talk to your partner about these issues, you know him better then I do. Shocking him is not the solution though, this will only lead to more problems. If talking to him in a mature fashion does not fix the problem then you have to decide if you can deal with it or not...
Without specific details it’s hard to advice, this could be getting blown out of proportion by some kind of power struggle between the two of you. I’ll do the best I can though.
If, for example, you are angry that he won’t apologize for leaving the toilet seat up, you are probably more in the wrong then he is. In this case he may love you but be so confused by your over-reaction and anger that he doesn’t know what to do, so he leaves rather than increase the tension. He waits for you to come after him, assuming that you know you were wrong or at least have forgiven him for his mistake. He asks if you would have come after him because he worries that you do not love him because you get so upset over such a petty thing.
However, if you are upset that he won’t apologize for saying things to intentionally hurt you then he leaves and demands that you come after him, he is could be trying to control you. He could also just be unable to admit that he was wrong, or he might be immature. It is impossible to know or really to even guess at the real reason for his behavior without more information about the specific incidences… I guess I am just saying that even if he has made a major mistake or two does not necessarily mean you should dump him over it…
My partner and I have said some pretty nasty things to each other, sometimes with the intention to hurt, yet we have rarely apologized to each other. Apologizing is very uncomfortable for us both and for us apologizing is redundant, it's not worth the discomfort... We trust and know each other well enough to understand that the other knows when they are wrong or right so we do not need to hear apologies to move on with our life. If we have a big argument we always move away from each other because we both understand that we are stubborn and we know that neither of us will back down in the fight. We keep away from each other until our emotions calm down and after a while, we’ll look at each other and every thing is okay.
2007-07-28 05:03:17 · answer #1 · answered by Tempus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be baggage from a previous relationship. I've been married for almost nine years and can count on one hand the number of times my husband has apologized. It's because in his relationship with his ex wife he was forced to take the blame for things that weren't his fault...so now he doesn't like admitting fault for anything
2007-07-28 10:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by aly_des 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are the one that does run back everytime-this is why he expects it, he knows that he can run away mad and you will chase him. Stop the pattern, next time he gets mad, let him walk away and hold your ground....dont go after him, let him come back, if he doesn't come back then he's not worth it.
2007-07-28 11:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by catrina230 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being male dominating nature
2007-07-28 10:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by Rana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. He won't change.
2007-07-28 10:46:29 · answer #5 · answered by lanagrl78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋