2007-07-28 02:54:52 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think that you aren't even able to make someone else happy until you can make yourself happy...anyone agree?
2007-07-28 03:02:03 · update #1
amistere4u: Good point.
2007-07-28 04:03:41 · update #2
Yes and no, I know that when I was a bachelor, I was unhappy at times because my lifestyle wasn't the greatest. I showered like once a month, I bounced from job to job, I was too hippie-ish, I didn't eat right, I didn't have a steady lifestyle, I had bad friends.
When I met my wife, I was motivated to apply myself in the workplace, I was quickly in management, I ate square meals, I showered more, I got rid of bad friends, I found good friends, I had a stable steady life that I could be proud of.
In this sense, another person made me happy. They motivated me to become the kind of person I could be proud of being. She made me make myself the kind of person that could be happy.
If you're asking if you have a bunch of baggage, should you rely on others to work it out for you, the answer is no. At the end of the day, it's your responsibility to work out your own issues, and it seems to me that if you enter into a relationship with the expectation that those people are supposed to make you happy, then you will put way too much expectation onto those people, and they will always let you down.
Another person can't make you happy, but they can make you want to change your life, and that can make you happy.
2007-07-28 04:08:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably not. Happiness is internally generated, and depending on external validation (i.e., other people and/or outside events) for your happiness is sure to fail. The best method of achieving happiness -- besides, of course, limiting your desires to those that are achievable -- is to realize that you are the master of your feelings. As Shakespeare put it, nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so. In other words, attitude is all. If you come to the understanding that happiness derives from yourself and not others (they may let you down and become a source of disappointment), your chances of happiness improve greatly. Then, and only then, is it possible to find happiness with someone else -- but remember, such happiness comes not from the other person but from inside yourself.
2007-07-28 03:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by Hispanophile 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great question....I believe it can go both ways. So many females dream of finding happiness in their lives via marriage and family. Finding the right guy to make them happy...etc. Guys think of the same things too believe it or not. Finding the right woman, having a family....etc. In these scenarios, it looks like happinesss is found through other people.
But then, we do have a lot of miserable people that are just plain miserable no matter what. I think that those types of people need to find happines with themselves 1st.
2007-07-28 03:12:24 · answer #3 · answered by Javi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short term happiness perhaps. I mean we all know unhappy people that move from relationship to relationship just so they can feel the jubilation of new love. They will never find lasting happiness though. The secret to that is learning to collect the tiny flecks of happiness of life that are all around us everyday instead of trying to hold on in between mountain top experiences. They are just to rare to sustain us. By small things I mean like the feel of the sun on your face. It you stop to feel that happiness and to be grateful for it, your whole life will be happy.
Good Luck.
2007-07-28 03:38:29 · answer #4 · answered by amistere4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wholeheartedly, the reason marriages and relationships are crumbling is because people look to other people to make them feel good, when in fact they find the opposite, Franklin said "If man got all his wishes, his troubles would double"..the core virtue to happiness and attaining ones goals is self love, think about it, no matter how much we would like to blame outside sources, everything is up to us eventually..what most people fail to realize is that we actually are alone in this journey of life. You can be your best friend, or your worst enemy.
2007-07-28 03:37:24 · answer #5 · answered by Diana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all, it's a mistake trying to find happiness through someone else.
2007-07-28 02:59:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it's possible ultimately. People tend to think that if they find love or a significant other, that they'll feel much happier about themselves in general and other things. They are missing love for themselves, and they try to find someone else to fill that void in their heart. Nobody can fill it for you...you need to learn to love yourself on your own.
2007-07-28 04:42:28 · answer #7 · answered by wiccan_newyorker_333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are happiest alone and feel balanced and contented in solitude. Others achieve balance for themselves with a companion, a partner or just regular company of some sort. Others like to live in a community and are happiest living in groups. We were not originally meant to live like Noah's animals - one of each - irrevocably together like master and slave - very unhealthy for both of them.
2007-07-28 03:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you cannot find happiness in others. you have to be happy with yourself first. you can not build a house without a foundation!
2007-07-28 03:05:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think so- my friends and family is the reason im alive. my anxiety was severe, and with the help with people, i regained happiness. watch the pursuit of happiness
2007-07-28 03:04:20 · answer #10 · answered by nobody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋