Am i being mean?

Question

I got money from house sale - inheritance i spent 25k of it doing up house, bought hubby car, 2 plasma screens, mobile home etc. Now i want to save the rest for something special idont know what but that is what i want to do. However hubby is not happy he expects me to pay for everything even though he earns double what i do and what he has left of his wages after paying mortgage etc is what i earn and i have to pay dd off mine.

Anyway it is really getting on my nerves as before i got this he always had money now he never does. i even had to fork out everything for our wedding.
I am just looking for opinions please

Answer 1

Hi, No you are not being mean, i think you are very generous. You have done up your home, bought your husbands car, and bought various items for your home you are right to want to save some of your money . Men can be so selfish, "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine as well". You are going to have to sit down with him and tell him that you both may need the rest of the money for a rainy day, you just don't know what is around the corner, tell him you would like to put the money to one side and forget about it until you need it, and then you can carry on as you were. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 2

It is always a bit suprising to me to see how people see the world. A marriage is supposed to be two people living one life together for the long haul, not setting aside your own personal nest egg in case you want a divorce. If you want a divorce and are planning for it, then you really aren't that committed to the marriage and you should get out of it.

Get a financial advisor. Take all of your financials in with your husband and set up an IRA. Once your husband sees a path to finaincial independance the theory of saving with be tangible to him. You never know, he might then appreciate a subscription to the Wall Street Journal rather than another plasma TV.

For the rest of you answers saying that it is her money...FU> I don't see you saying his paycheck is his to spend how he sees fit. He appearently pays the mortgage according to the question.

All of the rest of you are idiots. How would I look if I kept telling my wife that the money I make is mine and not hers? She would have none. Our bank account is ours, our house is ours, our cars are ours, one doesn't go without while the other has.

Did I read this right though? 2 plasma screen TVs and a new car and you live in a trailer? You could consider investing in an acutal house that will appreciate in value. Mobile homes never go up in value. My biggest asset and biggest return on investment has always come from real estate/home purchase. I made a 35% profit on my last home and the one I am in now has appreciated 80K in 6 years time.

If you use the cash as the down payment on a house or condo, the liquidity will always be there. You can get it back by selling the home and while you own it, you can use it as collateral for a line of tax deductible credit. There is no other material purchase or investment with the same flexibility.

Answer 3

He is unreasonable to expect you to support him much less buy him whatever he wants. It is YOUR money and DO save it for something special. Maybe the two of you could plan a really special vacation, like 3 mo. in Europe or spread it out over yrs. of vacations (that way the you and HIM) are enjoying it. In the meantime, it could collect interest in a CD, which you could get at the bank. You have to leave the $ in there usually for a yr., sometimes 6 mo. I also think it is BS that you paid for the wedding, entirely. You must really love him. I would be concerned that perhaps you love him more. P.S. Tuck away a chunk (for emergency or whatever) FOR YOURSELF. And don't let him know or even find out that you have an account/safe deposit box.

Answer 4

One of the biggest indicators of a mature individual is their ability to save money for a rainy day or for their kids education. Most get a whooping chunk like you and the next thing you know it is completely gone, then they find they need something and realize where the intelligent thing would have been. I've seen this so many times. The one I see the most is when they spend it all and then something medical pops up. Next thing you know they are filing for bankruptcy. The smart choice is to put a big portion away, and appease your hubby with a small portion of cash. Tell him "make it last, cause this is the last we can spend". Get a "savings" account, not checking to put this in.

Answer 5

If your intent is/was not to hurt when you told him the rest is for something special... then no, you`re not being mean. Examine your motive- then you can never go wrong. Don't know enough detail - if your in credit card debt up to your ears - it would make more sense to pay off the interest. But you could never go wrong saving for a rainy day if nothing else ! Enjoy your mobile home & goodies.. a windfall like this should make everyone feel blessed ! :)

Answer 6

WHOA this is YOUR inheritence and you already spent alot on BOTH of you! hes taking advatnage of it! put it away and he'll be glad later when you guys want to use it for soemthing nice or whatever comes along. YOU ARE RIGHT and technically its ures NOT his. hes being selfish was he paying for everything before I mean since he made more and had the money was he paying for everything?? you should say that if whoever has more money should be paying then hes way behind! good luck and dont be forced into what hes telling you!

Answer 7

I'd hold onto the money and stand firm. I might would consider spending a small portion of it on marriage counseling for the two of you if have feelings of guilt about being mean especially if he is giving you a hard time about it. It is better to identify a possible problem early before it gets too far out of hand. Good luck.

Answer 8

Is your inheritance-you can spend whatever ways like. Saving is good.Ask the bank.They can work out something for you.You bought him a car.He should be happy & thankful.You are so generous towards him.What you have to fork everything for wedding!He should pay about 80% of total amount. Shame on him.

Answer 9

Sounds like he wants a free ride. Lay down some ground rules now and tell him you expect him to start being fair or you will spend the rest divorcing him.

Answer 10

look it is your money and what you want to do is very reasonable. people don't ever know when they might need money. jobs don't last forever. try to convince your husband into saving it for some time. tell him that you want to save it to buy something in the future. if it doesn't help then just put the money in the bank or wherever you can save them. it's your money!