Well one of my best friends got pretty annoying and so i kinda stopped hanging with her but I was still nice to her. Then someone heard me telling my best best friend that was starting not to like her. she said no one does. One of the snobby mean popular girs in my school overheard and told my friend. She was sad and stuff. she e-mailed me and asked me why dont people like me? she was still my friend so I had to be truthful to her. so I told her everything. she got mad and changed all my replys to the e-mail and sent it to all my friends and no one believed her of course. So she got even madder and started telling my friends that if they didnt hang out with her she would spread rumors aout them so against their will my friends did it. then i told my former best friend that i was tired of her crap and that i hated her and i didnt want to be her friend. she acted like she was happy and then at school everyday she sat in a corner and acted sad. Is it my fault that our friendship is over?
2007-07-27 15:20:09 · 19 answers · asked by smiley_roxs 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
no, it is not your fault, but your friendship sounds like it can't be patched up any time soon.
your friend was the one who is at most of the blame here. if she thinks everything she hears can be trusted then it isn't your fault that your friend was naive about who she believes. you were giving her the honest truth and if she can't handle it then it is her problem. at school people can say one thing to another person, wanting it to stay between them, and someone will hear and blow it out of proportion, twisting your words the whole time.
your friend may need time to accept all her qualities that make people edge away from her a bit. or she just might need some growing up to do. she needs to realize that she can't believe everything that's told to her and that you were a good friend for being truthful with her.
give it time and I'm sure things will work out.
2007-07-27 17:51:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got a headache reading about all that drama. Get better friends that sounds like a flock of sheep. Sorry I'm not trying to be mean but if that is all it takes to get friends to do things, that is pretty sad. Your friend sounds pretty mean but you were being honest with her and might have said too much. If she can't deal with what you told her, that is her problem. If she is that mean just stop talking to her, she will get over it. It's not like you are going to be ruled by her opinion the rest of your life. You can tell her you didn't mean to hurt her feelings but you just wanted to tell her the truth and not be a b**** and lie to her. If she still can't handle it, tell her "okay, well, I'm sorry you are upset. I hope you understand how I feel." Then leave it at that. The more you drag it on, the more everyone else will too, so just let it go.
2007-07-27 22:26:37 · answer #2 · answered by MrsKat 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry you are upset. These kind of things happen to us all when we are in school. Send a card and a note telling her that you are sorry that she feels bad. Then let her cool down, she is mad now but when she calms down talk to her if still want to be friends with her and apologize. Just put yourself in her place and think about it. A snobby girl repeats to her a negative comment so she is embarrassed just like the snot wanted. I think it will work out in time.
2007-07-27 22:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by phylobri 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it takes two to tango...
You wouldn't be asking yourself this question if you thought you were fault-free.
Ask yourself why you didn't tell her when she started to annoy you. You were friends after all, right? Why didn't you communicate to her then that some of the things she was doing were bothering you---why did you wait to whisper it to someone else? Someone else that confided in you that NO ONE liked her---which made you feel justified, right?
Well what happened to her feelings you think, when she heard from this "snobby mean" girl that NONE of her friends liked her? That NONE of them were honest with her, and that they were talking about her behind her back? She was probably really hurt, I'd wager, and angry as hell. So she decided to get revenge, even though that was an immature decision.
Maybe she truly IS annoying, I don't know her. But as her friend, I think you had the responsibility to address these issues with HER, not everyone else.
As for her revenge, yes, it was petty, mean, and irrational. But so was the way in which all her friends dumped her. And she may be acting happy, then sad, then angry and back again...because that is how she IS feeling. A hollow happiness from forcing people who don't like her to be her "friends" and getting revenge, sad because she truly did lose her friends, and angry over the way she was treated AND the way she acted in turn.
So neither one of you is in the "right" in my opinion. You both acted immaturely and awfully to the people that were supposed you be your "friends".
My honest suggestion is that you apologize to this girl for the dishonest way you treated her, tell her why you felt the way you did (why she was "annoying" you), and let her figure out by herself that forcing people to be friends with you NEVER works for very long. Karma is a real thing, and everyone feels it.
Then, if the situation seems to be un-fixable, move on. Be honest with her and yourself. Don't feel guilty forever, but learn from this, and be a better friend to others in years to come.
2007-07-27 22:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by Calliope 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The best thing to do is take it easy and let things calm down a bit. There is nothing worse then a woman scorned. After a little while, talk to her again and explain your situation and why you were upset. By then you will know if you want to be friends with her or not. Good luck!
2007-07-27 22:29:11 · answer #5 · answered by CiCi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not your fault. I had a friend that if you weren't there at the drop of a dime, she got mad, and started crying. I got fustrated and wanted to quit hanging out with her, but I felt bad everytime I tried. Well, she made me feel bad. So, no it's not your fault, you just have to watch out for who your real friends are. There are alot of fackers out there. Just a little warning I should've took along time ago.
2007-07-27 22:26:03 · answer #6 · answered by eyes_4_jared_only 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
She's the one with the problems. She sounds like one of those girls that always needs attention. It was wrong of you to say you didn't like her, but she got all vindictive and changed the emails and sent them around. It would be best to stay away from her.
2007-07-27 22:23:13 · answer #7 · answered by Robert S 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
in my opinion it's not ur fualt because u just told her the truth and she couldn't except the fact that it was true so she didn't know how to react. so don't blam ur self for ur friendship ending this happened to me last year so i know what ur going through.
2007-07-27 22:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Brina ♥ 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are a lot better off without her. I wouldn't stress out over it sweetie. It sounds like you have plenty of true friends who will be there for you without bringing unnecessary drama to your life.
2007-07-27 22:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by MissSara12345 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You both acted juvenile. ..as did the other girls in this little melodrama. Your destruction of the friendship started when you told your "best best friend" about your friend (and in public for others to hear). Not cool.
2007-07-27 22:25:48 · answer #10 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋