For women out there that have been cheated by there boyfriend or husband. Did you give him another chance, and if you did, did you ever learn to trust him again?
2007-07-27 15:11:13 · 16 answers · asked by missM 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was engaged three times before I married my husband. Each time the guy cheated. No, they didn't get a second chance. Second chances are for dumb mistakes like forgetting to include you in a semi-important purchase or choice of employment. That can happen when you're getting used to a relationship. I bought a car without asking my husband. I just didn't think it would be a big deal since I was paying cash with my own income. Needless to say, he was a bit upset he wasn't included. That's a dumb mistake that I didn't know would hurt his feelings. I know for a fact he would hate me if I cheated on him. That's the way a good 90% of human beings would feel. He cheated knowing it would hurt you and did it anyhow. If you take him back this time, he'll just do it again because he knows there's no way it'll hurt him.
2007-07-27 15:48:32 · answer #1 · answered by Unknown.... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the person, you,and how it will effect your life in the long run.
From someone who has been cheated on before. I can say the first hubby, I never gave a real second chance because I knew he wasn't going to change and it wasn't worth the effort!! And it was a blessing I never looked back with any regret because I was right he is still doing it to his current wife.
My current hubby hasn't cheated physically but had emotionally cheated in sense with someone that works for the same company states apart as it started over a work related phone call and then led to more frequent conversations, it messed him up mentally and he didn't realize that by listning to her problems more and more he was neglecting our relationship. Hes a pain in the butt but a good guy and is a good listner for almost everyone that comes to him so I did have to take a step back and evaluate how the full situation came about in the first place.
After some serious sit down conversations and re evaluations things have been going great and of course. He realized why it was wrong to continue talking to her once she became attached emotionally because he was inadvertantly becoming attached to her also. He realized that it was taking a toll on our relationship and our family as we do have 3 children. Plus he knows (He has got the perfect wife!!) so why screw that up. LOL
Most of the time *Woman's Intuition* is correct. For the most part trust your gut instinct on if something is seriously wrong with him and his relationship with you. Don't give up easily but at the same time don't let him off the hook easily. Once there has been any distrust, he will need to do whatever it takes to earn it back and if he is not fully willing to, no matter what then you need to do what is best for You even if that means kicking him to the curb.
Best of Luck!!
2007-07-27 15:40:33 · answer #2 · answered by Broken but not Beat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is a boyfriend. I would say no. Dump him.
If it is a husband. I would say if it has only happened once. then yes. But only if both of you go to counseling together (and separate if need be) and work out the problem that caused the cheating to begin with. Cheating in a marriage is a sign there is a problem. What the problem is however, can be many things. Not always or just that he/she is an a^^hole.
There are times it can work out and things will be better but only if both go to marriage counseling and both are willing to work at it.
If it has happened more than once, and counseling has been gone through, then I would say no. Do not give another chance. But that would be up to you.
Pray about your situation. Pray to God for wisdom and strength. Pray for an open heart for both of you. To hear his guidance.
I wish you well.
2007-07-27 15:25:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been in that situation, but I really don't think I could give my boyfriend another chance after that. In the relationship I'm in, I give my all. He knows everything about me, which makes me very vulnerable.
If he were to cheat on me, I would put all of those walls back up and don't think I could ever let them all down again. I could never trust him 100% ever again, and to me, with no trust, there is no relationship.
2007-07-27 15:22:43 · answer #4 · answered by Kathryn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married almost 30 years. He cheated a year ago. Yes, I gave him another chance but,
no I have not learned to trust again. I had trusted him too completely and was totally blind sided by
him. I don't know if I'll ever regain that trust again or if I even want to be that trusting again. I know that I love him and didn't want to chunk 30 years down the drain without at least giving it a chance.
2007-07-27 15:22:17 · answer #5 · answered by longtimewife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me sweetie...I've been through this with my ex. I believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater". There may be circumstances where the person actually may be able to change, but in all honesty you should have more respect for yourself than to give him another chance. There are PLENTY of guys out there who won't cheat on you and you deserve to be with someone who won't.
2007-07-27 15:31:24 · answer #6 · answered by MissSara12345 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I gave him another chance... No it was always in the back of my mind... And ultimately ended the marriage. However, this is not the case for all... My suggestion would be to seek some counseling and follow your heart. Do what is best for you, not for him.... He made his choice and now you have to deal with the after effects... Seek some counseling a trained professional can assist you in working through this situation. Good luck and God bless****
2007-07-27 15:50:51 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on age how long married i gave my husband of 33 years another go he treats me like a queen but trust is another issue! i stayed married retirement coming up social security dont want to sell off half of what i have no way so i just grinned and beared it so to speak but at the end of the week i get the paycheck and i know where he is every hour of every damn day for the rest of his cheating life
jeanie
2007-07-27 15:22:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, have forgiven many times, he didn't want me to trust him he just thought he'd learn to hide it a little better. We are now divorcing after being together for 14 years and 3 kids. I guess it would depend on the situation. I found out one time from his cell phone bill so he decided to have the bill sent somewhere else.
2007-07-27 15:15:01 · answer #9 · answered by rhonda c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're thinking approximately "giving her yet another possibility for the reason that's obvious that's what she needs"?!?! Am I lacking something right here? She comes crawling back to you no longer out of sense sorry approximately for hurting you and LOVE for you yet because of the fact she found out the guy she left you for remains married?! She isn't remorseful. She merely needs the protection of being with a guy and since the only she rather needs (as is sparkling with the aid of the certainty she left you) finally ends up being already taken she will "settle" for you. do no longer you deserve better than being with somebody who sees you as their 2d selection? the only reason you're able to offer her yet another possibility is that in case you prefer to and you sense it extremely is the main suitable element to do. no longer because of the fact it extremely is what SHE needs! That stated, how could you ever believe her returned in case you be attentive to that she is cheating, disloyal, untrustworthy, a taker and not versatile." how are you able to construct a relationship on that? so which you have a historic previous together with her. Cherish the stable innovations. forget the undesirable and don't enable her shop you residing interior the previous!
2016-10-19 07:32:55 · answer #10 · answered by irish 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋