my wife isn't doing her job?

Question

when i came home from work the kids were out of bed and my food was cold and then she did'nt even say anything to me except could you please give marcus a bath.what is wrong with her

Answer 1

That's really rude of you to put it that way. It's not your wife job alone to take care of the kids. What do you think she is a robot? You said "when you got home things were not ready" well when does your wife get to get home? Is she on the clock at home like you are at work or is she supposed to work 15 hour days every day?

Being a SAHM is very hard work. Try it yourself to see.

Answer 2

Oh no! Crisis!!

Next time that happens just do whatever she asks with a total smile on your face. Sounds like she was mad at you for something else and choose to be passive-aggressive. Maybe if you do it cheerfully, it'll tick her off.

No, that'd be mean also. Sit down with her and ask what is really going on. Be prepared to hear a lot of complaining but do not get defensive.

Offer to make a note of nights you could help do kids bathes instead of her, or offer to bring home dinner one night a week to take pressure off of her for cooking, or offer one night a week where you'll fold and put laundry away. Just doing one extra chore around the house could take a ton of pressure off her. Why not do it? If you get divorced, you'll be doing all the chores so I don't think vacuuming the living room once a week would kill ya now.

Stop by a grocery store tomorrow and get her a rose. You may not think anything is your fault and you shouldn't need to be sorry, but I think it'll defuse the situation and show her you care.

Answer 3

It's very hard to stay home with kids all day. Very hard. So put your food in the microwave, have a bite, and go give Marcus a bath. Ask her to put the other kids to bed in the mean time. If she is still snippy ask her what's wrong. She will appreciate you more than ever if you do, and it may open a dialog between you that can be a Godsend to your family. Your children need you at peace with one another. So demonstrate your respect, your love, your concern, and pitch in. That my dear is a part of Your job.

Answer 4

I don't agree with all these posters. What's wrong with cooking and taking care of the kids if your hubby is the one working? Why should you have to bring home the bacon and cook it too? Its not sexist, its division of labor.

Have you discussed your expectations with her? I think it is completely acceptable for a woman to have all the home responsibilities if the man is the only one working, but you have to let her know your expectations.

If you have already discussed this, maybe there's more effort involved in child care, maintaining a house, and preparing food than you thought. Maybe you could cook one night a week, or allow for take-out once in a while. You get one or two days off a week from your job. Why can't she?

Answer 5

I'm really upset with my husband right now for something similar so I think I am going to take it out on you! 1st, why is it that men think women are the only ones to take care of the kids? We did NOT create these babies by ourselves, if she asks you to give that kids a bath, you get your behind in there and bathe the kid. Do you know how much your wife does during the day? She cooks, cleans, keeps up with the kids, she runs errands, she takes care of things so you don't have to. It is NOT too much for her to ask you to help out. 2nd, your food was cold, get over it. As a wife and a mother, I almost NEVER get to eat my meal warm, and it is just expected.

Have you ever thought about giving her some time by herself? Hmm? Have you ever offered to take care of the kids while she goes somewhere? Think about these things, she needs time away too. You get to get out and go to work and interact with adults, and she's there with those kids, and if she does have a job too, you should really be helping out. Women are not slaves, get over your stereotypical thoughts of women and HELP!

Answer 6

Hey, I understand because Im getting married and i kno a woman is suppose to do her part as in play her role, but she can only play her role if u do as well, I dont beleive she wanted u to have a cold dinner, but maybe just think she might need your help, i kno it can be frustrating u come from work, and things not in order, but if it doesnt happen all the time, then try to stay calm, but if it happens alittle too much for you, suggest where she can be more organized, she would appreciated it, but just dont get offended if you gets defensive. Remember its teamwork.

Answer 7

What exactly is her job? To be bare foot and pregnant. Tend to your kids, cook your dinners, clean the house, wait on you hand and foot. So what your dinner was cold.....is something wrong with your hands and feet? You sound very barbaric. You probably think men are superior and women aren't.
You are a male, show vinous pig.
I feel sorry for your wife.

Answer 8

Well she could have had a bad day, had an arguement with someone, just got frustrated with the kids.. who knows. You are sitting on the computer though.. do you do that every night when you come home from work? Try calling her from work during the day, chatting with her, reconnecting.. if your work days are long, and you are gone alot, or not trying to spend time with her, she is probably feeling lonely, frustrated bored with the same old, same old.

Answer 9

Seems to me you've done something to annoy her and she is giving you the cold treatment. Or something has upset her and she needs you to pick up the slack for a little while. I suggest gently talking to her about it - don't tell her she isn't doing her job, ask her if everything is alright and if not what you can do to help her.

Answer 10

Why are you asking us? Ask her. She's probably tired and would like some help with the kids, or a break in general. Taking care of kids is your job times 12. Ask her what she needs!