When you are in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you back or seem to care, how do you take the first step in leaving them?
I have been in a relaitonship with my boyfriend for 2 years and it's been nothing but heartache and hurt. We've had the same fights and he's never going to change. How do I just pack up and go? He'll be out of town next week, so it's the perfect chance to make a clean break.
2007-07-27 13:05:01 · 13 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1.Prepare.
Are you really ready? Don't be the one who comes and goes. Make sure this IS what you want.
2. Plan.
Make sure you have somewhere to go. You can share, roomie, go home, but make sure you have somewhere.
Work out what you are taking, and anything you can't take straight away, find a cheap storage unit, and put your stuff there. You don't want to have to go back and forth, once you leave.
Do you have your own funds? It will take some cash to move. Or do you have friends/family who can and will help?
3. Move.
Do it when there will be the least stress. When he's away might be good. Just make sure you have enough time to do what you need too.
Write a note - let him know why.
4. Consolidate.
You may need to change numbers if he calls often. You want a clean break.
Give yourself time to get over him. Be kind to yourself. Getting over even a bad relationship takes time.
Make a new life for yourself. Find your own space.
2007-07-27 13:23:15 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's as easy as this: Just go.
Pack up
And when he does get back in town after he's gone for a week, don't contact him. If you keep in touch, you're more likely to go back to him.
Cut ties with him. You've already said he's never going to change.
Why waste anymore time?
Not saying that it won't hurt, because it will. But instead of concentrating on how much you miss him, etc (which you'll be tempted to do) Just think of all the new possibilities in your life. Think of how you've just opened your world for good things to come to you!
Say goodbye to the ridiculous arguements and heartache. It gets you nowhere. It's a waste of time, and life isn't meant to be lived in misery!!
It seems like such a hard thing to do, but after some time passes, you'll look back and say "that was the easiest "Hard" thing I ever did"
2007-07-27 20:55:36 · answer #2 · answered by Sumie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know... the anticipation is actually a lot harder than the actual doing. Packing up and leaving are not that hard when you're doing it.
Do you have a place to go? When he's gone, pack your stuff and go! Get your cell phone changed to an unlisted number. As soon as you can, get your own place so you don't feel dependent on someone else.
Leave him a note that says, "Consider this relationship over. Have a nice life."
2007-07-27 20:24:57 · answer #3 · answered by Laura 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet he'll be surprised at how strong you are - you go girl, and show him you respect yourself and know how you should be treated.
When he goes just gather up your things and don't take anything of his. Leave a note saying something like "You must have known this was going to happen, things haven't been right for a long time. I deserve a better life and I'm sure you'll find someone better suited to you. Thanks for the memories". Good luck, and well done for looking after yourself.
2007-07-27 20:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by Janey 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Since he is going to be gone at that time yeah make a clean break for it. Just pack your stuff and go. Explain later. Goodluck
2007-07-27 20:48:03 · answer #5 · answered by necarg1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That IS in fact the perfect opportunity. Start making plans now...find a place to stay temporarily, make sure your financial affairs are all in order, get your name off of any legal obligations you might share (utilities, insurance, etc), remove his name as beneficiary from any policies you might hold.
2007-07-27 20:12:05 · answer #6 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is only ONE step in leaving.... GO! take what is yours and leave. Do not talk about it before do not take his calls after. Just go! Move on with your life, be happy.
Best of luck
2007-07-28 02:13:45 · answer #7 · answered by survivedlasvegas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like the Nike ad says: "Just do it."
And don't chicken out, girl. You'll never get a good relationship if you're still stuck in this one.
2007-07-27 20:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation. Now I can say that I am happy being single. I would rather be single than to WISH I WAS.
2007-07-27 20:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by just me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said it - just pack up and go. Don't clean out the house though - just take what's yours.
2007-07-27 20:08:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋