Is being thousands of miles apart and getting a sore back an excuse to break the agreement that was made that we would not go to opposite sex people to get a massage?
My husband says his back was really bothering him and he didn't think it would be a big deal to go get a quick, innocent massage.
I don't think it was the massage that bothered me, so much as his flippant attitude about it. Also, we had made an agreement. Should I be upset at him or am I over-reacting?
2007-07-27 13:00:11 · 21 answers · asked by Jenn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If this was an agreement that you had, you have every right to object to him blowing it off. Don't get too bent out of shape about it, just reinforce your expectation that the original agreement be upheld. Remind him that if he truly has a medical emergency, he does have the option of calling you BEFORE he decides to tweak the rules.
2007-07-27 13:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by SewConnie 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Ok first i want to say if youre going to spend the rest of your lives together you need to loosen up. Ball and chain is just a sying, they dont really mean it. If the idea of a woman giving your husband a massage bothers you that much i think you need to rethink it a bit. Do you trust him?
My bf and i just went and got massages together and i was a bit nervouse at first like "is she gonna be hot and all that" but its a massage not an affair.
If it bothers him that you get a massage from a male and youve both agreed to same sex masuses (sp?) then he broke your agreement and thats what was wrong. Not the fact that it was a female. Focus on the fact that he broke your agreemnet. But remember he did tell you, he didnt hide it from you or lie. That means his back probably really did hurt. Massages are relaxing not arrousing. you cant take take freedom away from your partner. Hes a man first then a husband, then a father (if you have kids) Just like you are a woman first..... so what im trying to get across is that yes you are over-reacting and you need to loosen up a bit. Forever is a long time so work together on fixing bad attitudes and keeping agreements. Loosen up , live life and good luck
2007-07-27 20:22:02 · answer #2 · answered by e.kess 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
was it a professional massage or from a random girl. If it was professional it should be fine, it is probably uncomfortable for a guy to be touched by another man unless he's gay. If it was a random girl or any girl that does not have a massage license then you should be very mad. If it was just a professional massage it is fine, just make sure the next time you get a massage you get a guy. Good luck.
2007-07-27 20:10:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to relax just a teensy bit. No harm was done that you're aware of (i.e., he kept his pants on), and I sincerely doubt he was as flippant as you're making it sound (resentment has a way of tarnishing perspectives). Don't make such a big deal out of it. Would you have been as pissed off if he'd gone to a massage parlor and gotten one there by a woman? Probably not. I think it was the environment AND the fact that something COULD have happened that's got you all ruffled.
2007-07-27 20:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are absolutely overreacting. Do you want a life partner or a piece of property? You two should talk about this again--what other binding agreements like this do you have? People can only hold themselves to unreasonable promises for so long before they resent them, and stop honoring them. Open the discussion, ask how he'd feel if you did the same thing, and when he says he wouldn't care, ask him why. Then ask yourself why you don't trust him as far as he trusts you.
2007-07-27 20:08:40 · answer #5 · answered by djnightgaunt 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, a massage doesn't mean sex. Second of all, he could have maybe respectfully asked you BEFORE he got the massage. Third of all, you go get one and the score will be 1 to 1.
2007-07-27 20:05:27 · answer #6 · answered by cookiesheet 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Next time put it in writing. Personally I see nothing wrong with getting a massage by the opposite sex if you are with someone.
2007-07-27 20:03:14 · answer #7 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it was a professional massage, no hanky-panky, then you're over-reacting. Why did you make such a silly agreement in the first place?
P.S. don't put too many unreasonable restrictions on a man, if you do, they tend to do whatever they want behind your back. Do you want that?
2007-07-27 20:04:50 · answer #8 · answered by mstrywmn 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it was by a professional, non-sexual masseuse then I'd say forget it. He obviously didn't think it was a big deal, you shouldn't either.
I'd tell him though that you're not upset about the massage - but you're worried about him breaking your trust.
2007-07-27 20:08:36 · answer #9 · answered by Janey 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Why did he tell you?
What if he went to a massage parlor and had a person of the same sex massage him? Does that bother you?
2007-07-27 20:03:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋