Or rephrased in another way, is it worse to think of your wife when you are having sex with another woman or is it worse to think of another woman when you are having sex with your wife (or swap genders).
Please don't just say "they're both bad", I know they are both bad. Most thinking people see ethics as a hierarchy rather than just black and white, good and bad. How do those fit into your spectrum?
(btw - I'm not married and I'm not trying to encourage either behavior, I'm just curious what people think)
2007-07-27 12:35:36 · 17 answers · asked by megalomaniac 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Chuck, maybe for example you are separated by a long distance for a long time.
"If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with" (this whole thing is all CSN's fault)
2007-07-27 13:41:26 · update #1
A lot of people make statements in the form of questions. I'm not doing that here. Its just an ethical conundrum that has me stumped too.
2007-07-27 13:45:52 · update #2
It's worse to be screwing another and thinking about your wife/husband .
2007-07-27 12:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think it is worse in deed. people have fantasies and that i snot against the law. I would hope the person i am with is not thinking of others while we are together but there is a such thing as fantasizing and that is human. Well almost everything is human. People do things for a reason rather they are just selfish or are lacking what they arent getting after communicating and doing everythng possible to get your point across to the other person.
2007-07-27 19:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by angel_crest24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who we are is determined a whole lot more by what we do than what stray and random thoughts pop into our heads.
Not even close. Adultry in deeds is far far worse. It wrecks homes, ruins lives, devastates children, and hurts everybody. A passing fancy never really hurt anyone. Thinking of another woman while being with your wife... I'm not even something this harmless should qualify to be on the 'bad scale' at all. If so, I'd qualify it as just barely grey. Whereas actual cheating is deep into the black.
2007-07-27 19:41:10 · answer #3 · answered by Jon S 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm going to need a gin & tonic for this one.
Why do you frequently ask things that i think about all day and still can't come up with an answer for? I can't figure out if i'm morally or philosophically bereft, just a common dolt or you ask the occasional unanswerable question just to see if people will pull something out of their hats.
Interestingly enough, just today i was thinking about smooching one guy as another faded into the background. Or did he? Is the room getting larger or am i getting smaller?
2007-07-27 19:59:10 · answer #4 · answered by irisheyes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
last time I checked, thinking wasn't a crime
you remind me of the crazy Christians and their quest do deny themselves their humanity, by doing things like having anal sex before marriage (because its not really sex)
it is completely natural for all human beings to be attracted to many other human beings ... and in a life time commitment type of relationship, these are the things you should be able to be honest with your wife about - attraction to another woman and your sexual thoughts
love is accepting someone for who they are, good and bad ... respect and trust are built with honesty and acceptance - not by being a perfect man who always opens doors and never looks at another woman, this is the real world
... if you can't be honest with the woman you marry about who you really are, and what you really think about ... you have no business being married
2007-07-27 19:45:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having sex with another woman, then you are committing adultery, so that's obviously much worse without even having to think much. Thought crime is not a crime.
Must be a punchline to a joke, "but but honey, I was thinking of you..."
2007-07-27 19:40:52 · answer #6 · answered by x2000 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think deed is FAR worse. I think it's worse to think of your wife when your having sex with another woman.
At one point in life I think everyone has passing thoughts of being with someone else. A brief thought is normal...a steady thought is wrong.
2007-07-27 19:59:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart - Matthew 5:28.
2007-07-28 14:28:48 · answer #8 · answered by Do_As_Infinity 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm just going to say, it's worse in deed. Thinking about it, isn't a sin...it's a thought and there's nothing wrong with fantasies, so long as they remain just that.
2007-07-27 19:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're thinking of your wife while you're having sex with another woman...then WHY NOT JUST HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE??
2007-07-27 19:38:29 · answer #10 · answered by Chuck 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's worse to have sex with someone else and be thinking of your spouse. If you are having sex with your spouse and thinking of someone else, it's nothing more than a fantasy....but to actually have sex with someone else is much worse! It's adultery and it is certainly worse in deed than in thought (although I don't condone that either)
I would rather my hubby be faithful to me and fantacize than to cheat on me.
2007-07-27 19:39:59 · answer #11 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋