A female co worker has been flirting with me lately. She's pretty much made it clear that she wants to be intimate. I'd be lying if I said I'm not tempted. I'm only interested in a one night thing, nothing permanent. I care for my wife, but I just need a temporary release and escape.
2007-07-27 11:23:40 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look I love my wife. We have two kids together. I don't want to lose my family over this. I just want a little variety and fun.
2007-07-27 12:38:00 · update #1
A work place fling? You're asking for trouble, in capital letters. Especially since you're already married. You want to go through with it, knock yourself out, but if this female co-worker has other ideas about how far it will go, the more chance your wife will find out about it if it goes on for a length of time. You could be setting yourself up for blackmail, or extortion if you hold any authority over this co-worker in the chain of command, and she thinks she can manipulate you to her advantage.
Work place romances are problematic. You still have to work with this person afterwards. Also, since you're married, and your employer fnds out about any dishonorable behavior, you may be seen as a dishonest and untrustworthy person, and of questionable character. This could discourage any opportunities for you (or the female co-worker) for advancement. Granted , an employer cannot base a decision solely on that, but I can guarantee they will look, and find other reasons to prevent you from moving up the ladder.
You want to take the chance on losing your marriage, and possible your professional reputation with a flash of lust? It's your call, pal.
2007-07-27 11:46:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's just absolutley shameful! If you love your wife, you won't do it.
If you think your wife won't find out...think again. We can tell. Also, are you prepared to deal with this sl*t after the one night stand. Maybe she'll decide she wants more. Maybe she'll blackmail you or maybe it'll be a "fatal attraction"...who knows what she'll do. If she's willing to sleep with a married man we already know she has no morals.
Think of all you could screw up for your little "temporary release and escape". Your wife, your children, your job...basically your life as you know it.
Oh yeah...and pray that you don't get whatever diseases this sl*t is carrying.
How do you suppose you'd feel if your wife were on here asking us this question? It would hurt you like hell wouldn't it?! Yeah, well that's how hurt she'll be when (not if) she finds out.
If you have any morals/ethics or any sense at all..DON'T DO IT!!!
My husband thought it would be a secret too. I've never felt so much hurt. It is too big to even describe in words. It almost destroyed me. I'm begging you...don't do this!
2007-07-28 01:24:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are a perfect example of why it is that women don't trust men these days. I am a woman who has been on the receiving end of an affair so I know how bad it hurts to find out that your husband has slept with someone else. If you love your wife and want to keep your family, then just don't do it. If you are looking for a little sexual excitement and want to try something different then talk to your wife about spicing up the 2 of your sex lives. As far as your co-worker who is coming on to you, she is a dirty w**** who has absolutely no respect for herself or your family. What kind of woman comes on to a married man? It is sick. If you do cheat on your wife she will find out eventually.
2007-07-28 00:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by kittysoma27 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay....couple of things..........this co-worker can't possibly have any respect for you and/or your wife if she's knows your married, and is pursueing you. Why would you even want to have anything to do with anyone that doesn't show you any respect? And, how could you trust someone like this co-worker, who wants you to cheat on your wife? How do you know she won't tell your wife, or others you work with? Bottom line, she can't be trusted, so your wife will find out somehow. And, most importantly, any woman that tempts a married man can't be all that "clean". Be ready for a visit to your dr. and some anti-biotic treatment if you go thru with this.
2007-07-27 12:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by CW1967 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked about this person to your wife in general conversation?
Do not stop talking about her, but don't focus on her either.
Keep it professional when talking about her.
Ideally, the woman would be someone you worked with, but is connected you or your department in any way.
Someone you can claim to work with on projects.
As for a one night stand. Go out for drinks with the guys after work next Friday. Then the following Friday go out with the girl. You wife will probably get upset about being away too much if you try to pull it for a third week, but the plan is to give you one night free to bang the co-worker right.
How you act at work after you've had sex is where everything falls apart because no matter how go you think you are hiding everything people will know.
Its all a matter of time before the rumors make its way home. Company Christmas party is a great time for your wife to find out.
2007-07-27 11:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Contrary to the opinion of the other answerer's; you're not an asshole, and there's no way I can tell you that you're urge is unjustified. I don't know you and I don't know your situation with your wife, it would be naive to think I could judge your relationship and your life from this question. I will tell you though, that the same goes for answering how to keep the affair a secret. No one on this site knows your wife's habits or yours; so we can't really help you out in that department. I would suggest though, talking to your wife and seeing if she wants to help you get that release instead of turning to someone else. Let your wife know what you're thinking (not the cheating part, just the needing a different kind of intimacy)... who knows.. maybe she's looking to spice things up a little too.
2007-07-27 11:38:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Ok first, if you were my husband, your *** would be out the door so fast you wouldnt know what hit you. But then, I won't ever have to worry about that because he would never do that to me.
Two.. I'm really disgusted to read all the questions about infidelity on here. My husband and I have been married a few years now. The first year of our marriage, he spent deployed, in Iraq. Not once did either of us EVER think of being unfaithful to each other because we meant every word of our vows. People like you disgust me to no end.
If you need a release, grab some K-Y, lock the bathroom door and have at it.
2007-07-27 15:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by Katty 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
IF you care for your wife than do what you have to do in the bed so that you wont be temoted to do an one nighter with your coworker, and even if you do get tempted you can tell yourself that your wife can do better, or she can satisfy your temptation.
IF you care for her don't Go out with this co worker
and also Just tell the coworker to leave you alone or get your wife to come in some time, or show your ring, not in her face, but just so she knows you are married and are taken already.
Good Luck
2007-07-27 11:32:30 · answer #8 · answered by Dillon C (who else) 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
If you cared for your wife you wouldn't even be considering cheating. "Temporary" release? Obviously there are some issues in your marriage you need to address, cheating isn't going to change that. Be a man and handle your business at home. If you want to be with other women then don't be married.
2007-07-27 11:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by beanie_babymama 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If you really cared for your wife you wouldn't even be thinking about it..... and you never know: some affairs start like that, "a one night thing", and then turn into something much more serious when you least expect it and get you in a lot of trouble..... I'd say DON'T DO IT
2007-07-27 11:30:20 · answer #10 · answered by Lprod 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋