well i moved back home after breaking up w/ the girl. i'm finally getting back on my feet financially & emotionally. i'm working 2 jobs. it was hard breaking up w/ her but necessary. if u need some background on my situation look at my previous yahoo questions. anyway, the ex called wanting a 2nd chance. she said she is sorry & that the kids miss me. i told her that things have changed & i don't want to be involved right now. i want to focus on me & my life for alittle bit w/out the drama of having children around & the baby daddy drama. they are nt my kids by the way. i wasn't trying to be mean about it. i was tellin the truth. i miss having time to myself & doing what i want to do w/out the stress of them being in my grill & all. i felt like things weren't just right. she would take the dude places. most of all i think she wants "daddy" & someone to take care of her & nt a lifelong partner. i'm nt wanting to do the taking of part. am i wrong for this. i was being honest to her.
2007-07-27 10:01:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't know if your doing the right thing, because I don't know how long you were in those children's lives. If you were in those kids lives a long time then them missing you and being attached to you won't change. Yes, you left her, and those kids. So now what, pretend that you don't care about those kids, if you did, or continue to have contact with them so they know it wasn't their fault. Or are you going to just forget that they have feeling's and don't understand thing's the way adults do. I really don't know how to answer this question appropriately, because I don't know about the children and your relationship with them.
2007-07-27 10:22:43 · answer #1 · answered by Shawnee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong at all. If that is how you feel then that is how you feel she can't change your feelings so there is no need to sugarcoat it. It seems to me that girls now a days have kids so young that they don't plan or think of what they are going to do to support them if the dad leaves, so they just expect a guy to come along and support them. That situation is not fair to you or the kids.. leave her alone and let her figure out how to raise her family on her own, and if she ever does that then maybe you can get back together when she isn't so needy.
2007-07-27 17:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by meeeeeeeee2681 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being honest with yourself and it's a good thing that you're being honest with her. No one said she was going to like it.
Breaking up is not always as clean and easy as one might think. And this is not the relationship you want to be in. For a relationship to work, it has to work for the both of you. It's certainly not working out for you. Move on. She'll have to do the same.
Also, hopefully she'll learn how to deal with the baby-daddy so there's no drama that'll effect her future relationships. But that's neither here nor there, since that's no longer your problem.
good luck
2007-07-27 17:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by magikal01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can move on but you might have some compassion for the kids, especially if their dad is not around. You might be the only male figure they have and they might be quite heartbroken if they became attached to you. Could you take them out to dinner once a week and maybe have them come to your place once a month? I know this might be hard with your jobs and finances, but give it some thought. You do not have to do anything with/for her.
2007-07-27 17:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You weren't wrong. It may have seemed alittle cold to her but you were honest and not playing games. Shame on her for trying to guilt you into coming back by using her kids as an excuse.
2007-07-27 17:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. Do not back away from your goals or from your space or taking care of you. It doesn't sound like you want to be with her. Stay strong and true to the course.
2007-07-27 17:05:07 · answer #6 · answered by Kitten Hood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. If you are being honest with her, that is all you owe her. Don't worry about how she is taking it, if the kids are missing you, etc. Do what is right by you.
2007-07-27 17:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not at all....you dont have kids and its like she made it seem like it was your responsibilty when its not.it even seemed as is she was using the kids to get you back.do what you do.you stood up for yourself so be proud and keep on keeping on.if your happy now dont go back to that unhappy place.i wish you well in life and i hope you succeed in everything you do!
live laugh and learn!!!!
2007-07-27 17:17:10 · answer #8 · answered by Tabitha M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right, especially if they are not yours, their dad needs to take care of them. You should keep up with yourself and you will be fine.
best of blessings to you
2007-07-27 17:05:55 · answer #9 · answered by doo doo head 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good for you!
2007-07-27 17:04:38 · answer #10 · answered by gymclasshero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋