we were a very very conservative Indian family,,where ne discussion abt relationships is an absolute taboo..let alone sex and sexuality
i am 32 ..and single.while both my sisters(my age) r married for several yrs now and have babies
my ques is regarding one of the gurls who is married and settled in Australia.she came down in 2000 for 3 months on leave from her job and she casually talked abt a Turkish guy (she even spelt out his name) in her office.Now the ultra conservative thta our family is..my father didnt like that too much.but he kept quiet.This though isnt the issue..
A few days she was at our place for a stay over ..abt twice ..she received calls ON OUR LANDLINE(there were no cell phones here back then)..where she got all flustered ..talked in hushed monosyllables..and put the phone down.Now i know of it coz one of those calls i just happened to pick and it was sum guy from Australia asking her by her name
I havent told dad abt the calls..she pretended it was business
cal
2007-07-27 09:45:24 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Has my dear sis who i spent so many wunderful chid hood yrs turned into a tart..the thought just kills me every day..and i cant even go to ne one and discuss
I mean why would she give our LAND LINE India number to a guy in Australia,..and then clearly..those were not calls related to work..as it is she was on 6 months unpaid leave..
so guys ne clues what could be happening there..thanx in advance
2007-07-27 09:48:08 · update #1
NONE OF UR ANSWERS HELPED AT ALL GUYS..COMON ...I EXPECT SUM MATURITY..THOSE WERE EITHER RIDICULING OR PLAIN GIBBERISH
2007-07-27 09:58:24 · update #2
FOR THOSE WHO AROTE I WAS LISTENING TO HER COVERSATIONS..I JUST 'HAPPENED ' TO TAKE ONE OF THE CALLS ..AND SHE DIDNT TALK LONG ENUFF AT ALL FOR ME TO OVERHEAR NETHING NEWAYS
AND THOSE WHO SAY SHES A GROWNUP GURL..AND I SHOUDL LEAVE HER ALONE....I DONT INTEND TO CONFRONT HER IN NE WAY EVER ..I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OUTTA MY SYSTEM..AND ELICIT SUM OPINIONS ABT WHAT MIGHT BE THE TRUTH
OEN GUY SAID SHE MIGHT HAVE GIVEN OUT OUR LANDLINE NUMBER FOR WORK REASONS....BUT DEAR MAN..BOTH TIMES SHE DIDNT DISCUSS NE WORK AND HUSTLED THE CALLS CLOSE
WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED WHILE SHE WAS AT HER HUSBANDS PLACE IN INDIA I REALLY CANT FATHOM
2007-07-27 10:12:00 · update #3
FOR THOSE WHO AROTE I WAS LISTENING TO HER COVERSATIONS..I JUST 'HAPPENED ' TO TAKE ONE OF THE CALLS ..AND SHE DIDNT TALK LONG ENUFF AT ALL FOR ME TO OVERHEAR NETHING NEWAYS
AND THOSE WHO SAY SHES A GROWNUP GURL..AND I SHOUDL LEAVE HER ALONE....I DONT INTEND TO CONFRONT HER IN NE WAY EVER ..I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OUTTA MY SYSTEM..AND ELICIT SUM OPINIONS ABT WHAT MIGHT BE THE TRUTH
OEN GUY SAID SHE MIGHT HAVE GIVEN OUT OUR LANDLINE NUMBER FOR WORK REASONS....BUT DEAR MAN..BOTH TIMES SHE DIDNT DISCUSS NE WORK AND HUSTLED THE CALLS CLOSE
WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED WHILE SHE WAS AT HER HUSBANDS PLACE IN INDIA I REALLY CANT FATHOM
2007-07-27 10:14:49 · update #4
AND HELL KIDS ..SUM OF U THOUGHT I AM A GURL..HOW WEIRD IS THAT???????
2007-07-27 10:21:01 · update #5
No, your sister hasnt turned into a tart. This is a cultural issue, so maybe your sister is a little more independent than you are giving her credit for. Maybe her marriage is unhappy (it was arranged, yeah?). Maybe she wants more for herself....maybe she met a guy who she trully loves, but because of tradition and culture she cannot bring herself to leave her husband.....at least not openly. There was a case just recently where a man killed his wife with the aid of family. She was planning to leave him.....it was cultural issue.....an arranged marriage where the man is head of the household and it is unheard of that a woman leaves her husband. Maybe your sister is frightened of the same outcome if she goes against tradition. If there is no open communication within the whole family, then of course if she finds love she is not going to tell anyone, so she has to do it secretly. Maybe you could change tradition and talk to your sister.....maybe you could love her enough to see her as a person and support her. Maybe that's what she needs right now. Be a good brother and give her some support.
2007-07-27 09:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Things are different in other countries. Maybe the move to Australia has opened your sisters eyes to a whole new world that she never knew existed. And maybe her beliefs are different from your parents and yours now.
I am sure that deep down inside she knows how your family is feeling. She was brought up with you after all and she knows how your family feels about these things.
Out of respect for you family she was keeping that part of her life there while she visited.
And the fact that this guy had your number could be a coincidence. If she works in an office she could have left the number with them in case they needed to contact her about her work. Think about what she does for a second there. What type of work does she do? She may of had information that they needed that she may have forgotten to write down or anything. And the fact that you didn't have cell phone towers then makes a difference. She had to leave the only number that they could get a hold of her if need be.
And the fact that he asked for her by name means nothing. He works with her he would know her name.
I wouldn't work myself up over nothing. If your sister beliefs is still the same as your families then it was only business. And the fact that she was whispering when talking with this guy could be that she didn't want you guys hearing her work business. What they were working on could have been confidential and no one outside the office may have been able to hear about it.
It could be a number of things!! Not that she is a tart. And even if it is that you should still love her no matter what!!!
But if it is bothering you that bad maybe you should call her and ask her about it.
Good Luck!!
2007-07-27 17:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by rockn75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say she came down in 2000? Seven years ago? I think you should learn from your father and keep quiet. Are you wanting to tell your Dad about something that happened 7 years ago? I think you should have better things to do. Love your sister for who she is and concentrate on your wonderful relationship. Forget about it! If it were yesterday, assuming you had a typo, which I don't think you did because you said there were no cell phones back then, I would still advise the same thing. She is an adult woman and what would you gain from telling your father? If that is your question.
If you are concerned for your sister, ask her in confidence if she is OK. Maybe she is in an abusive relationship with her husband and this guy could just be someone that she confided in. Whatever is going on in her life now is what is important and if she is happy, you should be too. I just can't believe you are hanging onto something for 7 years.
2007-07-27 17:11:18 · answer #3 · answered by chillin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are definitely right that something fishy is going on - and it becomes your business when she chooses to involve your family by giving out your number.
BUT, easy on the "tart" talk. Yes, she might be having an affair but there are about a thousand other explanations for this behaviour - an unwanted advance with uncertainty how to handle it, an affair she has ended or even something nice like a surprise she is planning for you or someone she loves.
Bottom line, let her know that you are there and you love her. And leave the rest be.
2007-07-27 16:56:51 · answer #4 · answered by banana6464 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe you need to grow up a bit too.
You can well imagine that it must have been a huge cultural shock to your sister to go and live in such a big place.
Was she happy when she got married?
You probably don't know if you are not allowed to talk about relationship and all, and if your family is very conservative.
I can appreciate your shock and fear about what may be going on in your sister's life, but I'd think that women, specially sisters like to talk to each other, confide in each other about how they feel.
I don't suppose your parents would be too happy knowing that she may have extra conjugal relationships, and no normal parents would for that matter. But, it wouldn't help her would it if you were to go and tell your parents on her.
She is probably doing something wrong, but maybe she needs a friend to talk to. A sister who can listen to her, or advise her, or be there for her.
You don't have to follow in her path. It's good to be your own person, but having some compassion won't change who you are.
Good luck and take care.
2007-07-27 17:14:03 · answer #5 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a life. Soon. Before it is too late. Quite naturally, if she is on a 6-months leave, they have some business questions to her. Quite naturally, she flustered, because she knew you'd think some dirty thoughts. Everyone is Australia calls each other by name, so how would you expect them to ask for her? May be in your family people only call each other and ask each other by their names, if they sleep together. But not in Australia. So your dear sis doesn't have a problem. You do. You think about it way too much. You need to get out and get a life. Or you'll continue to be a freak with a small dirty mind.
2007-07-27 16:59:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Paul". Perhaps your sister was going through something and befriended a male co-worker. Perhaps the co-worker was going through a difficult time. Perhaps she knew it would be frowned upon for her to talk to him, as some would assume there was something going on. I doubt very seriously your sister is a "tart". It would take far more than this for her to be a tart. Now that you have it out of your system, let it go. You are not her keeper. If she has indeed done something wrong, she will be the one to face her maker and answer the questions on that one. Not you. Just love her and don't be judgmental. She doesn't need that from you, just love and support.
2007-07-27 17:31:54 · answer #7 · answered by buggin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seems pretty normal to me. If I go to another continent to visit family, I'm damn sure going to leave a number to reach me at for anyone who wants to call. And that number is almost certain to be the landline of the relative I'm staying with.
Yes, you're sister may be having some sort of clandestine affair. Or maybe she's been recruited as a spy for Australia and is passing sensitive information on to her spymasters on your phone!
Or maybe you should give your sister the benefit of the doubt (she is your sister after all) and simply ask her if you feel she's getting suspicious calls.
There a number of explanations for what's going on, and many of them are completely innocent.
2007-07-27 16:55:29 · answer #8 · answered by Jon S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are some people with integrity that this sort of thing eats at them. Being my sister I would politely ask what is going on? If her husband beat her or kill her the whole family is involved, so from my point of view you have every right to inquire, but not pass judgment.
2007-07-27 16:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by I Wanna Know 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is her life, not yours. You religions and ways of life are frustrating you about your sister’s personal life. Forget a little bit about it, and live your own life, and more important, let her live her life and be happy.
She has done absolutely nothing wrong, and you do know it.
I really hate how people use religions and “conservative” ideals to destroy others people’s life.
Don’t forget what happened on 9 / 11 / 2001. Is a perfect example of how bad we humans can be in the name of “God”. Use your brain and common sense.
2007-07-27 17:01:50 · answer #10 · answered by Dan D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋