do u think cyber sex cheating?

Question

the other day i walk in on my husband doing cyber sex. when ask some close friends they believe that it was not cheating. they say how do you cheat with the words that you say. my thoughts say that you could cheat with words. how do you tell someone sexual things then say that it no harm . do u out there think im been over emotions. can i feel that someone is online talking sex when there wife in the same house with him. this to me is so unbelieveable.

Answer 1

For lack of a better way to put it, it's 'cheating light'. I don't think it is grounds for an immediate divorce nor should you respond with the same emotional level.

He may think of it as porn. I think that there is a LIVE person responding to what you are doing and that is different than looking at porn.

I would sit him down and without emotion tell him that you think this behavior is not a marriage building activity. This attention to logic will work better than telling him you are hurt. Also ask if he has been dissatisfied with your sexual activity. This is most likely the reason for his 'play time'.

If you do not care much for sex or he has previously asked for more or better sex, you won't get anywhere telling him not to have cybersex. If this is the case he has already determined that you are being selfish and not interested in his needs, so he feels as though you were the first to 'cheat'. Men often feel that not having enough sex is as bad as cheating. because either way you are denying him the very thing he cannot get anywhere else.

To keep things running smoothly and to strengthen your relationship, you should try to be 50% of the sexual partnership if you are not already. Try initiating more, try being creative, try a few new and wild things.
If he ever gets to the point where he doesn't want to be intimate with you... the marriage is over.

Answer 2

You could cheat emotionally. Why is there a reason for him to go and have cyber sex when he's married to you? Why the hell is sex so freaking addicting, really? (sorry, venting) You should ask him how he would feel if you were chatting with another guy and if that turns him on, good luck. If you tell him that you're not comfortable with it then he should respect that and stop and if he doesn't then he obviously will choose temptation over his wife.

Answer 3

I agree with the fact that you are saying he is getting personal with the person and the words are a different level of interaction as if he was looking at nude photos or something, but what really matters is how your relationship with him is. Do you truly trust him and feel completely secure with him? Especially when your in bed? These might be good indicators of what he might be doing elsewhere. I totally believe that if you were bothered by it, then it needs to be taken care of with him and communicated as a concern you have. Those types of conversations can be taken to the next level and if you truly love this guy then I would cut it off. I do feel that it crosses the line and have not taken the step to it while being married.

Answer 4

Chances are if he is doing that then something sexual is lacking big time. Maybe try joining him and acting it out as he is typing, or acting out what the other person is typing as a sexual experience. Or if you truly love each other sit down and talk about it and find out what each other is thinking. Some men will not come directly out and demand certain things in the bedroom, so the channel it elsewhere, e.g. Online, porno's, etc. There is a proverb that states two things about men. Men are either hungry or horny. If you see a man without a hard on, make him a sandwich.

Answer 5

Thats a tough question. Because its "cyber" sex, its almost like looking at porn online. However, the fact that he is interacting with someone with words, makes it a little different. I would definitely be upset. Since you are husband and wife, the only thing I can recomend doing is to talk about it. Just be happy he is not getting physical with someone, but be sure to tell him how you feel. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

Despite what the purist tell you. Surfing on the computer, searchng websites, engaging in thoughts, fantasies, viewing clips and typing all consist on activity other than being with your spouse. The one ingeditent that's truly missing is the phisicality of the issue; the touch, feel, taste, smell; just about all of the things you would consider in a real realtionship.

I think it's totally an individual opintion; the individual rights, just like the abortion issue; eveyone has the right to object or consent.

Answer 7

Speaking from my point of view which is just answering your question no i dont think its cheating because benefit of the doubt he probably is picturing you while saying those words to someone else, but he just doesnt know how you would feel about it and is insecure so instead turns to someone else who he knows wont reject him

now...

if i were in your shoes i'd be beyond pissed. I'd think that he's not satisfied with me or something right? Ask him these questions ask him is he satisfied with you. Confront him see what he tells you then you'll be able to figure out if it was truly cheating

hope it helps hun =)

Answer 8

Well from first hand experience cus I was the one doin it it is wrong. I did it when I wasn't getting sex or attention from my spouse. It was wrong and after 10 years of marraige I lost him. Not because of that fully but it didn't help. Maybe try talking to him giving him a little extra attention. And spice things up in the bedroom. Hes just lookin to release let it be with you. If it doesnt stop. I suggest counseling for the both of you.

Answer 9

No, it isn't cheating. How do you know he wasn't thinking about YOU when he was doing it? If you think of another person while having sex with him, is that cheating? It really is the same thing.
If he talks to someone in a public place is that cheating?
Just chatting with someone isn't cheating.
If he reads Playboy, is that cheating? I think not.

Answer 10

Honestly, I am 100% commited to my spouse, but I have chatted with people about sex. I have gone as far as cyber sex. It was at a time when my husband was always to tired for sex and I just really needed something.