Proof he's lying...?

Question

If someone stares at you (unnaturally) to prove their not lying after you've told them ("Why can't you look at me when you say that!") ...isn't that proof of them lying to you in an obvious way. If he/she were telling the truth wouldn't they try to convince you in a more endearing soft holding hand kind of way instead of a cold stare in the eyes?

Answer 1

if u have to ask if he's lying, the chances are that ur intuition is telling u he is, u just don't want to believe it.

Answer 2

How To Tell If Someone Is Lying

How to tell if someone is lying? Carefully. All methods of lie-detecting, including polygraph machines, are regularly fooled or used improperly, resulting in mistakes. There are a few good ways described here, but try to confirm the truth by other means as well, such as confession or investigation of the facts.

You should compare behavior in the person under suspicion to their "base" behavior, if possible. In other words, if they always have shifty eyes, then this trait can't be considered as an indication of lying. On the other hand, if they are normally very calm under pressure, but start shifting in their chair after certain questions, that may indicate lying. Because all techniques fail at times, you should use several indications before assuming the person has lied.

How To Tell If Someone Is Lying By Testing Responses

One way to test for lying, is to measure a persons desire to avoid a subject, which will sometimes indicate dishonesty or guilt. If you think the person is lying, change the subject quickly. A lying person will often go along easily, and may even visibly relax. An innocent person is more likely to be slightly confused by the change and want to finish their thoughts.

Another lie detecting technique is to suggest something that would make a guilty person feel uncomfortable and watch for a response. Suppose your wife Jane says she was at her mother's house, and you think she is lying. Rather than saying, "I'm calling your mother to verify this," you could use a subtle approach. You might say, "That reminds me, I'm going to stop by your mother's house today to fix that door for her."

If your wife was lying, the idea of you seeing her mother should make her nervous. She may give you reasons why you shouldn't go there. Of course, if your relationship has reached the point where you feel the necessity to resort to these techniques, a simple lie may not be the worst of your problems. Still, sometimes you need to know, so here are a few more ways to tell if someone is lying.

They are using your words. Using your exact words to respond can be an indication of lying. You say, for example, "Did you leave this here?" and they respond, "No, I did not leave this here."

They use un-contracted words. A lack of contractions is more common when lying. For example, instead of saying "I didn't sleep with her," a man might say," I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Again, compare to base behavior, though, as some people may not use contractions often anyhow.

Over-compensation. Often when people lie, they try too hard to be natural, and they give more detail than is necessary.

Forced smiles. A real smile involves more muscles, while a forced smile will use just the muscles around the mouth. The lie here may only be about their feelings, of course.

Let them talk. The more a person talks, the more likely you are to catch them in a lie (if they are being dishonest), especially when you learn the indications to watch for. These are just a few of the ways how to tell if someone is lying.

About the Author: Steve Gillman has been hunting down obscure knowledge and useful secrets for years. Learn more lie detecing tricks and get a free gift at: The Secret Information Site (http://www.TheSecretInformationSite.com)

Answer 3

Well let's see.

Did you ask this person the same question over and over? Did they answer this question for you several times before you asked them Why can't you look at me when you say that?

If so they were probabley angry with you and that would explain why the look was so cold.

Maybe they felt like there answer should have been enough. And if you kept on insisting them to look at you in the eyes when they said it this could be why it seemed that way.

Sometimes you can tell by a persons manners if they are lying or not. The eyes do tend to tell alot but there is no proof that they are lying.

And if they are it will come out sooner or later.

Some people will play the other card the endearing way card and lie through there teeth!!

Some pepole are great liars and you can't tell by looks or expressions. So thank wisely before jumping to conclusuions!!!

Answer 4

The problem is that you are convinced that he is lying to begin with. Look how you phrase your question "... isn't that proof of ...?" Sounds like you are trying to convince yourself because you are just not sure. People are different, not into hand holding, etc. You are in a tough spot because you are so sure that he is lying that even if he's telling the truth, you're not likely to believe him. I've got a sure fire way to tell one way or the other. Tell him you're sorry and that you believe him. If he says, well, thank you or I'm glad I convinced you or something like that (he should still be a little hostile, because after all, he was telling the truth) - chances are he was telling you the truth. If he acts surprised like he's thinking "Wow, I actually convinced her that I was telling the truth, I thought I was gonna be caught for sure," then he's a lying rat bastard and deserves whatever you throw at him.

Answer 5

Someone who answers your question in an endearing way, holding your hand and talking sweet might be more of a good con man/woman. Do you want the truth? Are you making him/her feel like they are at the interrogation table waiting to be executed? Could it be that he/she is racting coldly because you are pushing too hard and acting like you don't trust him/her? How sweatly do you react when people try to suck their truth out of you? He/she is either guilty or inocent. Either way, that's their story and they're sticking with it. It seems that you need more reassurance than what you're getting. But pushing the issue further is an exhauting route. Shortcut: Believe or not and drop it.

Answer 6

Staring at someone intensely after making a defensive statement can mean either one of two things; the person is lying, or the person is afraid you'll think he's lying. If I were you I would not jump to conclusions if your only point of reference is the look you get after making an accusatory statement. If you really wanted to know the truth, you wouldn't have asked that question. (*Why can't you look at me when you say that!*)

Answer 7

No that is not true. You can't tell by the look if someone is lying or not. Heck when my friends play a trick on someone and I know about it I always look the most guilty and when the person asks me if I did it I almost always crack up and look even more guilty. Even though I didn't do it. So, no an unnatural stare proves nothing.

Answer 8

I recently read an article in the New Yorker about body language and lying.
Actually, liars are supposed to blink more often than truth-tellers, and blink as they say the lie, it's a nervous reaction.
But all this is speculation...there's better ways to find out if somebody is lying to you, I suggest you use them.

Answer 9

So, you tell him to look at you when he says something, so he does and you still don't believe him? What's the point of asking him to look at you in the first place? You obviously have trust issues with this person and you are not going to believe them even if they stand on their head while talking to you. If you can't believe anything this person is telling you it is time to move on. Stop trying to "prove" he is lying. If he is or isn't is irrelevant because you don't believe him either way.

Answer 10

Every relationship be based in trust. If you can't trust him then it is never going to last, plain and simple. So you need to either find a way to trust him or move on. Think of it this way, if he is lying you don't want him anyway. If he is teling you the truth and you keep accusing him of lying, and badgering him about it, he is not going to want to hold your hand and be sweet to you.

Talk to him, not to us, and figure it out. But if you don't have trust you have nothing.

Answer 11

Gosh yes. Whenever I've been angrily accused of being a rotten lying bastard, my first instinct is to want to gently and lovingly hold hands with my furious accuser and give him/her and endearing look.

Get a grip. I don't know whether he's lying or not, but your expectations are insane. One would think you didn't understand how humans think.

You accused him of lying. He's going to be defensive, and probably angry. Hopefully you have some better way of discovering the truth than trying to 'read his gaze'.