well my friend is 13 and she is pregnant. shes wondering if she should tell her parents or have an abortion. and what is the best way to tell her parents?
2007-07-27 09:11:51 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
NO ABORTIONS..consider adoption
2007-07-27 09:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 9⤋
I had an unexpected pregnancy when I was 17 and chose to have an abortion. It was the worst thing I've done. I am 24 now with two beautiful children and I still think about the baby I aborted. Its something that follows you around the rest of your life. No matter what the people at the clinics tell you, that baby is alive at conception. They lie! I found this out after the abortion. The baby has a heart beat after only 5 days! Your friend needs to come clean to her parents. They will be upset but still love her and help her. I agree with the previous person that adoption is the way. My husband was adopted by a wonderful couple and his birth mother was a teenage mom. Your friend needs to have faith, be strong, and have supportive friends around here. She also needs to think about abstaining from sex until she is mature enough and financially stable enough to bring a child into the world, because that is where sex leads. Good Luck!
2007-07-27 09:22:39 · answer #2 · answered by Martha H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In most states, considering her age, she will haveto have permission from her parents in order to get an abortion. BUT, NO ABORTION! There are several different options, which is all the more reason she needs to speak with her parents/an adult that can put her on the right track. Her parents may be 100% supportive and help her throughout the pregnancy and to rqaise the child. They may also explain her other options to her (hopefully excluding abortion). Adoption is and alternative to abortion that she needs to look into. There are also alot of non-profit organizations, churches, and other programs that are set up for people especially like your friend and that are more than willing to help. Good luck.
2007-07-27 12:16:21 · answer #3 · answered by .:Adrians' So Handsome:. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, everyone needs friends to help and support each other. i am glad that you are here for her. this is a amazingly hard thing for her. I don't know if either of you truly understand the consequences of abortion, or pregnancy really. I believe in choice. I also firmly believe in information! GO with her and talk to a doctor! You can get some info on abortion, adoption, and probably some good advice on how/what/why/when to tell parents. Just so you know, parents can suprise you, they don't always react the way you think they will, give them the benifit of the doubt. They need to know, no matter what, because that little girl is going to need them to help her through this. The more people helping her, the better. I hope this is a lesson to all about how fast and easy sex turns into babies and the rest of your life. Please don't have sex until you can handle the natural continuation of that act. God bless and good luck!
2007-07-27 09:21:10 · answer #4 · answered by Tresa R 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously everyone seems to think telling the parents is the best option. (which, it may be) But it's also really scary to be 13 years old and faced with that kind of decision. You think about finishing school and raising a child or dealing with the child you opted never to have for the rest of your life. People make mistakes, it's life, and things are really tough sometimes. But... I want you to be aware of and acknowledge that...
There ARE safe haven laws in 48 states (i'm pretty sure you live in one of them) That are designed for young women in tough situations that opt NOT to tell a parent. What happens is this: the mother of the baby would carry the baby to term, and be allowed to hand the baby over to ANY responsible adult (being that abortion nor the adoption process was just way too scary to face).
Meaning that after the baby was brought into the world, she could find any public safety worker (police officer, nurse, and staff at a hospital, library, etc) and they will then place your child in social services custody to find a permanent adoptive home for the baby with no additional information from you. (you dont have to share any more info than you are comfortable giving)
After 7 days of leaving your child, you terminate all parental rights and your baby is in custody of the state in which you live. So, if you make the choice to raise your babay and take responsibility, you have 7 days to get your baby back.
This law was put in effect just for people in your "friends" situation and it has given many scared teenage mothers a chance at life for themselves, and their baby.
I don't recommend not telling the parents, nor do I recommend getting an abortion. But this would be my plan "B", at worst cases scenario. Hope this helps and good luck!!
2007-07-27 09:43:07 · answer #5 · answered by holly1228 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no best way to tell your parents!!! She just has to tell them so they can help her. They are going to be upset, really upset, but they are her parents and they love her and they will help her make the right decision. If gets an abortion without the guidance and support of her family she could have some serious psychological problems after. Most adult women who have an abortion have issues after and have to go to therapy. Just think about a 13 year old girl doing it alone, nobody should have to make that decision on their own.
2007-07-27 09:31:35 · answer #6 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, whether or not to get an abortion is a decision that only she can make. And it's not an easy one. Most women/girls who have abortions suffer emotionally afterwards. It's something that will ALWAYS stick with her. Very rarely is anyone so callous that they won't often think of the life that might have been.
As for her parents...well, they are going to have to find out eventually. While they can't force her to have an abortion or put her child up for adoption, no matter what she decides she is going to need them, either to sign their permission for an abortion, or for mental and emotional support regardless of her decision. She should also look into getting some counseling and maybe finding a teen pregnancy center.
2007-07-27 09:28:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll have to tell her parents either way because she is under age. She just needs to sit them down and tell them the situation. Was she raped? Was she sleeping with her boyfriend? Did she get drunk and taken advantage of? Did the condom brek? She needs to tell them, "Mom, Dad, I made a mistake, and I know you're going to be mad, but I also know you still love me. And I am going to need your support, so please help me. I need to go to the doctor because I am pregnant."
Personally, it is a decision that only she can make. But in my opinion if she had sex consentually she was making an adult decision and therefore should be an adult...and adults don't try to "erase" their mistakes, they try to make the situation better. In this case, adoption would probably be the best option because she is too young to get a job and support the baby herself. I'm not for abortion, myself, because you can't just "erase" the pregnancy...she will always remember the abortion she had and she will always wonder about that baby...90% of abortion patients experience regrets and guilt, so she doesn't need to jump into it unless she's 100% sure that she wants to abort and has ALL the facts (fetal development and everything...if you don't know about fetal development, look it up...for instance, if she aborts at 10 weeks, it could traumatize her later in life when she is pregnant and finds out what a 10-week fetus looks like and can do).
I wish her good luck, and i also wish that she will wise up and make a lifestyle change. I'm not syaing that to judge her...but if she continues on the same path, she'll get pregnant AGAIN and be faced with this decision AGAIN..and it's a decision no 13-year-old should be faced with. Good luck to her.
2007-07-27 09:26:25 · answer #8 · answered by grayhare 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is NEVER the answer! She should just go to her parents. Probably best to go to mom. Moms seem to understand better. There is always adoption. Think about all of the women out there who WANT a baby and are unable to conceieve. My cousin got pregnant with her first at 12 and had her at 13. She kept her baby. It wasn't easy but she made it through. Next time tell your "friend" to be more careful.
2007-07-27 10:32:57 · answer #9 · answered by Gabrielle M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to tell her parents, and just so you know you have to have a parents consent to have an abortion, so there is no way around it. She should consider adoption though, she is too young to have that emotional scar for the rest of her life.
2007-07-27 09:22:49 · answer #10 · answered by Destiny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why is it people only choose abortion or keep. I mean seriously, what is wrong with adoption, I got pregnant at 14. Had my boy at 15. Picked a couple that had been trying to conceive for 10 years. They took me out to dinner and had me over before the baby was born, I got to know them, made sure they are write for my child, They came up to the hospitol , I gave them a gift. I was and angel to them, He is now 7 and i see him on a regular basis. I would have not asked for anything different. He knows im his real mother, he loves me for what I did, Of course its hard , but not as hard when you konw you have just done somthing amazing!! Please have her consider adoption, If she looks into it and tells her parents that she is considering , Im sure they will support her like mine did!!
2007-07-27 09:33:39 · answer #11 · answered by Jen L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋