How can parents help their HS senior prepare for college life?

Question

My oldest child is going to be a HS senior this school year. I'm looking for information on what other parents have done to help their child get ready for that transition in their lives. Everything from banking, to cleaning, to doing laundry, everything that your child needed to learn in order to live on their own--even in a dorm setting. If you have some tips that have helped both you as the parent, and your child as a student, I'd love if it you could share those. If you're a current college student, I'd love to hear how much your parents help you out currently, how you guys handle issues such as spending money, going home, car issues, etc. Or, if you tried something, and it blew up in your face, please share that as well. Thank you in advance from a parent of a class of 2008 student!

Answer 1

Ive been out of college 2 years, and my little sis just went (rather unsuccessfully) through her first year of college. They need to know some basic life skills, balanceing a check-book, laundry, cooking small meals, the things you HAVE to be able to handle that they decided weren't important to teach in high school anymore! Start NOW on teaching how to use credit cards responsibly. My dad gave me his when I went to college but stressed that it was EMERGENCY's only...and I was to call and verify before I swiped it...lol! That kept me from goin crazy. The toughest part on me at first was the general adjustment, I went to a very small high school where my mom was a teacher and she did practically everything for me, and I got pretty bad homesick. I was tougher than my little sis tho, I stuck it out b/c I refused to go home with my tail between my legs...haha! Once that first semester was over and I got into the swing of things, I LOVED college.

One thing I think you should advise is get your child active in things. I was on the dance team in college and met a ton of people that way....it was so much easier to make friends when you had a common ground. Sororities and Fraternities are great too, they didnt offer them at my college, but had they, I would have certainly joined, once agian, to meet more people.

As far as going home and car issues, I had a car (not the best in the world, but it got me there!) and went to college about and hour and a half away so I came home most weekends (boyfriend, now husband was at home) My parents gave me an allowance every week for gas, toiletries, etc, and I got a part-time job on weekends to help out. As far as financeing it all, I got tons of scholarships from my ACT score and from things like being on the dance team. Start applying for them NOW....the sooner you get in the better. What I didn't get covered I got student loans for that I am now paying for. Some people think its awful that I basically paid for my college and my parents didnt help with that, but I'm proud of it, and they did, remember that gas money? Also, start figureing out what you need to do to get in the dorms at the colleges your child is interested in, the sooner you can get applications and deposits in, the nicer a room your child will get!

Now to tell you what NOT to do, based on my sister. My sis has always been pretty attatched to my mom, lots more so than I was. She went to a local college, but decided to stay in the dorm. within 12 hours, she was freaking out. and I mean litteral nervous breakdown, because she couldn't grasp the idea of staying away from mom. Mom bailed her out. She attended classes, but lived at home...she's not active in anything except for hanging out with high school kids, shes made this past year into a second senior year b/c my parents let her. Now they regret it. They wish they would have made her stick it out and gotten her involved in something to keep her mind off things. She doesn't have a job, she mootches off my parents, they had to take out a parent loan b/c she wouldn't do all the scholarship apps and missed out on alot of help, and hten the student loan people wouldnt give her enough $$ to cover it, its been one big expensive nightmare. shes on anti-depressants now, crazy basically. Long story short, don't go bailing them out the first time they have a hard time. It's gonna be hard on you too, but you can't always make it better for them! My sis has now put off living her life indefinetly because she now thinks she doesn't have to. My parents now would totally tell you to make them tough it out for a little bit. If it truly never gets better, then step in, but the first few weeks are tough but so is life!

Hope it helps!

Answer 2

Way too many kids that come into school not knowing how to do laundry. Which is crazy.
Things most college kids should know or they'll be learning it really fast:
- How to balance a checking account and manage credit with a credit card. How to budget (cell phone bill + gas + credit card bill + textbooks + SOS fund...).
- How to use a laundromat (& tricks to get stains out of clothes).
- How to shop on a budget.
- How to check their own oil and do basic repairs if they're bringing their own car.
- How to prevent STIs and pregnancy.
- How to not over dose on caffiene.
- How to not gain 20lbs in the first semester.

I am a senior at a private university. My parents cover a portion of my tuition but I am responsible for my own living expenses and the rest of the tuition.
Tuition will go up every year, public or private, financial aid will stay the same, and I cover the difference, my parent's contribution stays the same.
My mom will usually pay for a trip to Wal Mart/Target at the beginning of the school year. Anything medical that insurance doesn't cover, they usually will. Sometimes if I'm short on cash and need gas money they'll loan me a few (usually when my Mom wants me to make the trek home), but for the most part I'm on my own when it comes to day-to-day expenses.

I work three jobs - not at the same time, two in the summer (one full, one part time) and one during the school year (tutoring part time). I've had a credit card since the beginning of my sophomore year, I use it every month, and I have yet to pay interest on it.
I live pretty socially, comfortably, independently, have good credit, and should graduate with a small savings of buffer money for at least first month's rent.

One word of advice: Avoid private loans at ALL COSTS. They throw Sallie Mae at you whenever there's a minor thing that needs covering. If you can afford to not get a private loan, don't. The interest rate and fees are ridiculous - we're talking about a 5K loan turning into 10K worth of payments.

Answer 3

There were several things my parents did that made my 4 years of college that were really great.

-send care packages. Don't get the kind from some stupid company, get a small box and fill it with what your kid likes-candy, gum, magazine, highlighters, a fun toy etc.
-write an actual letter. Emails are great, but its nice to go to your mailbox and get a letter....even if all it says is everything is good at home, here's a picture of the dog, love ya lots
-taught me how to change a tire, check my oil (its amazing how many women do not know how to do this)
-know how much stuff costs at the grocery store...a simple list of what the average price is for soup, cereal, milk, etc. so ya know what a good deal is
- a couple of simple things to cook in a microwave to share with friend or girlfriend/boyfriend
-how to do laundy! Start saving your quarters now, my Mom put a couple of rolls of quarters in my sister and I's Christmas stocking every year during college. My aunt gave my cousin a jar with quarters, dimes and nickels in it every semester. It was cool because she had instant laundy or vending machine money.

I attended a school 4 hours from my parents home so going home a lot was only on school breaks. My parents helped me out with tution by getting loans, but I also have student loans in my name. I had a work study job all for years and had a second job for my junior and senior year. I strongly recommend getting a job in college. It will teach you to balance work and school and give you money. I can proudly say that I did not borrow money from my parents at all (except for deferred student loans) during any part of my college years. I saved my money and still had a good time in college, paying my own way for food, rent, car repairs, concerts, and trips. College is the real world and in the real world ya have a job.

Answer 4

I'm a parent of children who've gone to college & failed & succeeded...
1) Teach the child NOT to use credit the first 2 years of college!
2) Teach child to do own cooking, healthy meals...have them cook meals for the family regularly through senior year!
3) Teach child to do laundry, even sheets.
4) Help child learn to cooperate with others in disagreements, in an adult way. Include child in adult decisions about chores, money spending in family, how family spends time, etc.
5) Emphasize good use of time, including balance work /play /family /friends /rest /alone time.
6) If child has immature blowups or mistakes, don't punish or scold, do "re-runs" or treat with natural consequences as you'd treat spouse, or as the police would treat the child.
7) Pay for tuition, fees, books, dorm, if you can, but child must pay for all "fun" activities or extras... designer jeans, etc.

Answer 5

I Have 3 in college

A. establish a checking account by cosigning for him at your bank. Obviously have discussion about MONEY. Go over budget. Tie his account to yours so you can monitor his account online and transfer him money instantaneously in a pinch. SAY NO TO CREDIT CARDS...USE DEBIT CARDS

B. Make sure he can pick up after himself and clean especially if he lives in an apt. Or else his roommates will despise him! Get him in the habit and see if he actually does.

C. Give him medical insurance card and tell him how it works

D. I bought the 94 Geo for $2500 w/o air. 34 mpg . He pays for oil changes and gas. Comes home 1-2 times per semester.

E. He works part time 10 hours per week for eating out. Meal plan is much cheaper $4.00/meal vs eating out $7.00 for fast food.

F. Tell them don't get or get someone pregnant!...The kids who usually don't have sex are the ones least prepared!!!

G. If they don't keep up grades tell them they will be working next semester...full time

Answer 6

My best advice I could give you is give your kids the prepaid American express cards and not a credit card. In a panic I charged tuition (when my loan didn't fully cover it) and supplies and books. I owed my mother like $6,000 after 1 year. I honestly didn't think about about being "prepared to pay it back" or how much was being charged. I learned my lesson the hard way and my mother is still mad at me for it 10 years later!!

Answer 7

check out http://collegesoup.net
it has info on pretty much all the stuff you mentioned and was written by college students, about college life