My husband told me this and it repulsed me to the point where I am no longer sexually attracted to him. What should I do?
2007-07-27 07:16:21 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It was before we were married
2007-07-27 07:22:59 · update #1
Was he in a relationship or just sex? You have to figure out how much that affects your marriage, or whether you can move past it. Because he's with you now, as long as he doesn't go out of your marriage now, thats all that matters.
2007-07-27 07:28:48 · answer #1 · answered by Naka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I could live with my husband if he admitted something like this to me. I can understand the "no longer sexually attracted" part too. Why couldn't he have told you this before you two were married? I would feel extremely repulsed & grossed out. I would also suggest some blood work at your next doctor's visit (better safe than sorry, right?) Best of luck to you with whatever you do with this new found information.
2007-07-27 14:49:27 · answer #2 · answered by MrsMarshall=) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I dont know. If you are feeling repulsed by him a break to find out how you really feel is probably a good idea. Many people question their sexuality. Did he decide that men were not his thing or does he still have these feelings towards men. I think he is brave sharing this with you, what were his motives for telling you? To announce he is gay or share a secret about his life growing up?
I think you really need to talk about it and find decide what is best for you in this situation. You are married so you obviously love him. Dont make any rash decisions or judge him. Good luck.
2007-07-27 14:47:57 · answer #3 · answered by Saff 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be repulsed, it's in the past and it wouldn't matter to me. I'd appreciate the fact that he trusted me enough to tell me.
Addition, I disagree with all of the people who are saying your husband is gay...if he experimented one time with another guy and hasn't since, he was just being curious...it's quite possible he may even be bi-sexual.
If you can't deal with what he's told you, either go to counseling together, or get a divorce.
2007-07-27 14:36:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! oh gosh I am so sorry... I don't think it would bother me in a way that I was no longer attracted to him...but it would definitely make me question whether or not he found me (or women in general) attractive.
I would seek counseling. I mean if you feel he is totally devoted to you and would never leave you, then I would seek therapy just for yourself. But if you think it's blown up to a point where it will affect your entire marriage then I wouldn't put yourself through staying with him. I think it's really unfair that he didn't tell you this information until now, after the fact. That would make me question him entirely.
Good Luck.. and if you do end up leaving him you know there are 58374528 men out there with no "bi" pasts.
2007-07-27 14:24:53 · answer #5 · answered by Blond&Tall 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It would repulse me too. I'm sure I would feel the same way you do. That's just something he should have kept to himself.
And if he were embarrassed about it, he would have kept it to himself.
Why did he tell you this anyway?
I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to look at him the same way.
I would always wonder is he gay and just hasn't come out of the closet? Is this a sign that he wants to come out of the closet? Or is he bisexual?
Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it is wrong if you have hidden it from your wife.
Good luck to you :{
2007-07-27 15:02:56 · answer #6 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce OR go together to counseling and stay married and ONLY have sex with condoms and both get tested for HIV often as a M.D. recommends.
He is gay. There is no other possible scenario. Heterosexual men don't have sex with other men. "Experimenting" etc. all other excuses are nothing but bull crap.
Don't let him kiss you after he's been out of your sight without washing his mouth out and face off with soap.
About 80% of all new HIV+ diagnoses (test results) are African American women. The "down low" phenomenon has affected them in such a severe manner. Most likely due to so many African American males engaging in jailhouse/prison sex then transmitting to female upon release.
2007-07-27 14:33:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you fell that way it is something he wanted to try he did and now he is fine with it you are a female so maybe it was just a one time thing. Ask him if he would do it again if he liked it you really need to be open about sex in a marriage that is what makes a marriage strong tell him things you would like in bed if he answers you and tells he he would do it again you may have a little something to worry about depends and counseling is always good . Best of Luck
2007-07-27 14:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by fancy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is your husband still attracted to men. and if you say no why would he tell you this you have to ask yourself. was it to see if you are in to this type of thing basically getting permission to be with a guy. to answer your question if you are repulsed by your husband that is not good but i don't blame you. i think i would leave him and let him go be with a guy
2007-07-27 14:22:25 · answer #9 · answered by whynot 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know it is probably not right to feel this way, but yes, i would be repulsed. More power to the women who can handle this, I am just not one of them.
BTW why is it that he just told you now? AFTER you are married? That seems a little strange to me.....
2007-07-27 14:22:02 · answer #10 · answered by Bite me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋