My husband and I love each other very much, and have a good relationship. Our daughter is married, so we have no distractions at home. We are both healthy and active, and both have full-time jobs. The problem is, I have no desire for sex. It has nothing to do with my love and affection for my husband. I don't have ANY desire at all. Period. I know my husband does, but he is very good about not pushing me to have sex. He never asks why, and I know he doesn't cheat on me, because we are together except when he is at work. It never used to be this way. I always loved sex and the intimacy with my man, and never had any problems with reaching orgasm. I think it all started with the birth of our daughter at age 34 and just got steadily worse over the years.
I really hate to feel this way. But I can't seem to help it no matter what I do. I went thru menopause about 5 years ago, but I know that has nothing to do with my problem.
Can I fix this, and how???
2007-07-27 07:14:33 · 25 answers · asked by Barbi T 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well,if I knew the answer to this question I would be on the french Riviera on my yacht. You said nothing about your health.When I became a diabetic this was one of the problems I had.The doctor can give you something that will help your problem.It is a very common thing.When you have a child your whole body changes.Its sad that you have gone all these years with out desire.There are so many things that can cause this problem.Menopause,Hysterectomy,Drinking, mental health etc. etc.etc. Go (run) to your doctor sit down have a talk (they have heard it all) and tell him how you feel.He will help find the problem.At your age you slow down but,you don't come to a full stop.
2007-08-03 08:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by lotteda717 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As couples get older, the desire often decreases. I appreciate that it is a sensitive topic, but I'd suggest you see your doctor about it.
Failing that, try to re-estalish that physical intimacy. Concentrate on the sensual, rather than the sexual - caresses, stoking, massaging, tickling. Jumping straight back into sex would be like trying to run before you walk.
But most important of all, make sure that your husband is reassured that it's not his fault. Ask him for his support and help.
Good luck and I hope that whatever happens, you are both happy.
2007-07-27 07:24:44 · answer #2 · answered by Andrew B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your Dr. there is a pill that can help you get in the mood, and yes, when your in the shower, just tease yourself get all that stuff working again ,,,, its hard after you have kids but its still there, just need the right stuff to get it going again, and its clear your husband loves you, and you love him so that would be nice if you did for him, now and then, and the more you do it the more you will start to enjoy it again..
hope all this helps, but let your Dr, know there are so many things out now days you will do great,
take care and good luck ;)))))))))))))))))
2007-07-27 08:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, get a really good physical checkup. Loss of libido is indicative of a medical problem so make sure to discuss this with your doctor.
Then, someone mentioned a "sex" class - and indeed, as crass an answer as that might be - there are therapists that deal specifically with couples in your situation.
But first start with a good physical exam. I bet there is a chemical imbalance somewhere.
2007-07-27 07:26:46 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you want answers and I can't help there. I can tell you that you aren't at all alone and I too started to feel this way after our daughters were born when I was 37 and 38. Things just weren't and still aren't the same despite the fact that I do love my husband.
2007-07-27 07:19:01 · answer #5 · answered by ersof59 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you are one of the very lucky women who has a husband who doesn't pressure/demand, nag, threaten retaliation or sulk - as this particular subject always seems to bring out the best in people - why can't you just *not* worry about it, stop looking for a "fixit" to something that doesn't appear broken, and wait on those feelings to come...loving your husband and enjoying a good marriage says to me, they might not show frequently, but the embers still smolder. no?
2007-07-27 07:22:14 · answer #6 · answered by Pryva D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk with your doctor about this. As couples get older our bodies change as I am sure you are aware. So with the change comes chemical differences meaning that you may need hormone pills. Hope this helped. Good luck.
2007-07-27 07:28:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try doing romatic things, like candle lit dinners, messaging each other, going to the beach for a picnic...........i think the sea does wonders , i know of a couple who says the sea after coming out makes them want to have sex. watch porn, wear sexy nighties, and of course oral sex makes everyone wanna get down and have sex. Good luck .
2007-08-02 15:25:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a walk down memory lane... talk about the things you use to do. Go on a 2nd honeymoon... Also it may be a medical issue... consult your doctor.
2007-07-27 07:21:48 · answer #9 · answered by Primalstorm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may need to "spice" things up a bit. Try some new rooms, costumes, food, toys, role playing etc. If not of that is appealing she your doctor; it could be physical.
2007-07-27 07:20:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋