Is this plain friendship or a forbidden affair?

Question

I have a friend and she has gotten close to her boss who is my uncle.My uncle likes her a lot and gives her gifts like food and chocolates.They even went to dine out together on Sundays. But the problem is that my uncle is married who's in his late 40's and she's 18.She told me to keep it a secret and that there is really nothing going on between them that they just went out because they're fond of one another's company.She even said that she never accepted money and offered to her and that she never will.The girl is pretty,has an appeal and with really charming attitude and told me my uncle compliments her for that. I felt quite bothered because my uncle is acting like a sugar daddy to my friend and i sometimes felt guilty that my uncle likes & might even loves my friend more than my aunt who is way older and a career woman busy with work.I was worried that worse things might happen if ever this would be found out by my aunt & cousin.What should I do?I don't wanna be called a traitor.

Answer 1

40 year old men do not act nice to a young and pretty sweet thing in hopes of a "friendship"

The best I can say is stay out of it. Getting involved would definitely get you disowned by your friend, uncle or even your aunt. Doing something would really get ugly and you would receive the full blow back and have all three parties angry and disgusted at you if you got involved. Your friend would hate you for breaking her trust, you uncle would hate you and blame you for ruining his marriage and your aunt would dislike you for suggesting that your uncle is unfaithful. Even if she found it was true when you tell her, your aunt would blame you for HIS affair and ruining their marriage for being the bearer of bad news, and resent you for it. If your Aunt found this affair out on her own, it would get just as ugly; however you just would not be part of the fire works. This is a good thing.

If you however want to use this for personal gain, you could hang this over your uncle's head for various favors if that is what you want. Get placed in his will or what else may come to mind. However, doing so is immoral however and I frown upon such actions.

Other things may be happening. Your may Aunt know about it and is having affair herself with some one else. Or she may be blissfully unaware (due to a busy work schedule) and best to leave her that way.
Keep your distance from this one.

Answer 2

You're uncle wants to bang the girl, plain and simple -- and rest assured your aunt knows NOTHING about this.. what he's doing, is showing-off his money to her -- because she's never seen anything over a few hundred dollars at a time (and a dinner check beats her salary, I'd guess).

What your twisting with.. is that he's also YOUR MEAL TICKET and he's your boss as well as your uncle.

But, that's trumped/beaten in a big way by 3 things: 1) your cousins are your equals, and you can think what You'd Want if you were them, 2) your aunt is a woman, and you should ALWAYS always support women around you, as you will never-ever understand men (believe me any broad who thinks/says they can, is an absolute loon), and 3) your family ties are to your Aunt & cousins, period. What you should do -- is tell your mother or whoever is the connection to that Uncle first... (he'd say that nothing has happened, to the adult). ADVICE: Don't under ANY circumstances, ever-never tell your Uncle what you suspect or what's on your mind, now. Tell your parents, and have them handle it -- telling his wife, or his mother (even better). By the way, if he's in his 40's... he's done this 10-12x already with many other women and young girls (and either got-away with it, or his wife allows him daliances, like Hillary lets Bill do whatever as long as he's discrete and she benefits from staying together).

Believe me, your hose 18-yr old co-worker is already doing what you suspect she might be -- only she's keeping it all hush-hush and hoping for more money & more 'fun'... she doesn't understand that she's actually just a hooker now.

Answer 3

You said your uncle age is 40, in this age any guy are always are crazy about to do sex with younger girl, by pay huge money, from your statement I got that your friend like will going to desperado, and she will suffer after used. And your uncle is stupid guy don’t mind, its true, out of office if have any appointment then its may show some weakness of each other, so defiantly it’s call forbidden affair. Please rescue your aunt life.

Answer 4

I agree with TN...a friend wouldn't have you in this situation. I don't believe for one second that this is not an affair...You need to tell your uncle and this girl that they need to keep their filthy little business far away from you. Tell them you don't want to know even if they just exchange a brief glance. They both suck really bad. Let your uncle know that you will have to come clean with your family if he keeps it up! Just give him a look that lets him know that you are aware of his deeds! Tell this girl to stay away from you. Just think how HURT your aunt and cousin would feel about what is doing behind their back...IT COULD JUST CRUSH THEM...

Answer 5

If she's not yet your uncle's mistress, I can definitely tell you that he's trying everything he can to make it happen.

I'm really sorry.
It must make him feel so good to have a young beautiful woman that wants to hang out with him, he feels she makes him look good. She makes herself available to him, she looks up to him, he has all the reasons to want this adventure.
As for your aunt, unfortunately, there's nothing you can do. You don't know what's happening in her own busy life, and you can't really change anything that's going on right now.

Answer 6

Get your "friend" and your uncle together and tell them to knock it off or you're going to go to your aunt about it. But then, they may just get sneakier. Niether one of them cares for you if they put you in this situation. Your uncle is going through a mid-life crisis (40s, acting like a stupid teenager) and gets a kick out of a young pretty girl giving him attention. She is 18 (most 18 yos are immature and regret their decisions later, trust me, I regret some of mine) likes the gifts and dinners.

Answer 7

Sounds more like a forbidden affair to me. If it was just a friendship, there would be no need for secrecy. Maybe you should have a talk with your uncle and let him know, this "friendship" he has with your friend, is inappropriate.

Talk to your friend as well and let her know if she doesn't back off, you'll tell your aunt.

Answer 8

Sounds like more than friendship to me. You are in a strange spot. I wouldn't tell my aunt, because what if there is nothing to tell. Maybe you could talk to your uncle about it. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 9

You should talk to both of them. If nothing is going on yet they are definitely walking on a slippery slope. He's probably feeling attractive and more masculine by having the attention of a (much)younger woman. And, she is probably feeling a bit empowered by having the attention from an older established married man. Nothing good will come from this.

Answer 10

Theres definitely something going on, talk to ur mom or even your friends mom, for help on what to do. Your right if someone finds out that you knew and did nothing there will be trust issues.