Is it just to have kids, and give ur aging parents peace of mind before they die? Do u and ur spouse get time alone to plan out ur future w/o family putting their two cents in? Just because u ask for help, does it mean u deserve advice when u don't need it? Why is the culture like this? I mean, the elder generation complains of this same thing, only to repeat what they've learned, why? Y not change things, and leave one another alone? I ask this straight up, and ppl get offended, I don't understand y...there's some peace when u let each other alone, and another kind of peace when things are worked out nicely. How do u ignore ppl? That is a skill I wish to learn. plz help me understand this culture!
2007-07-27 05:34:03 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
There are a lot of questions out there. About the point of getting married in India, why do you think people marry anywhere in the world? Indians marry for the same reasons. If you want time with your wife and kids, you have got to make it. No parent separates his/her son from his wife and children.
If you get unsolicited advice, you may tell the man offering the advice to stop doing so. In India it is considered to be friendly to offer advice. There are many who don't care one way or the other when they see someone in distress. You may seek their companionship. If Indian culture is like that, don't try to find reasons. Its traditional, that's all. If you want to ignore people, you can do it. Its not illegal in India.
In urban areas, few people have the time to offer unsolicited advice. So I don't know who all the people are who are climbing all over you with free advice. It could be your parents. Are you sure you want to ignore their advice too?
2007-07-27 05:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by Modest 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends.
Are you from India? Or did your parents immigrate to another country.
If they did that, then there's no point in getting married in India because you would've lived your entire life in another country.
I'm of indian descent, so i've grown up with 2 cultures, especially since where i live, there is very very little diversity.
I love being Indian, but yeah, i hate the whole "respect your elders ALL THE TIME."
I'm also the youngest in my ENTIRE family, which is HUGE, so everyone can yell at me, but i can't even voice my opinion without getting yelled at.
That drives me CRAZY.
You can't change it, but maybe try and talk to your family. If they've lived somewhere else, then they'll understand better, if not, then..good luck.
Although, when i visit, most of my aunts and uncles are far more open than my parents. That could be because my parents came in the '70's so they still remember that India.
I don't know.
Well, that's not all that indian culture is about though. That's just one aspect. I wish instead of just respecting elders it was respecting everyone.
Also, you can raise your kids with indian values in other places too, that's how i was brought up.
2007-07-27 12:42:55 · answer #2 · answered by starryeyedsurprise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend,
Your very perception regarding Indian culture is wrong. Elders interfear in you day to day work with their uncalled advice only to make sure that some thing does not go wrong with. They speak up with their experiance.
I do agree with you that some times they look to be just nothing more than hurdles, because its their lackness to update their mindset with the new generation.
You too should be bit cool dear, you should never sound to be alergic to such things try to put up your views across them and at the same time show them the loops where they could be nailed up if they dont follow you.
Its a continous study that would help you in studying the cultural gap that you face. Once you prove your self that you are able to handle some of the most sticky situations in the house, you would be regarded one of the most important person in the family. You have to prove your self to take over the total command of the family.
They could be softly and joking ly told to shut their traps and avoid giving unwanted advice.
2007-07-28 00:01:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biggest mistake you can make is marrying someone you're not equally yoked with. You guys don't have the same faith, cultural beliefs, and whole gobs of other things that are just going to get in the way. You've mentioned you're American, why in the world are your parents arranging your marriage. Is is because there's money involved, i don't get it. when you write, you're not clear on what is it you're seeking. As for the respect thing. I believe you treat others as you would want to be treated.
2007-07-27 18:14:19 · answer #4 · answered by sassy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without marriage, there is no escape. You cannot change the laws simply by your will and imagination. Loneliness is initially pleasing, but finally destructive. Mating outside marriage is even worse, emotionally. Try this and see the result for yourself.
2007-07-27 12:51:23 · answer #5 · answered by Devarat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will understand with the pases of time. time will teach you.
2007-07-27 13:01:36 · answer #6 · answered by Rana 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋