My husband & I have a male acquaintance who hangs around with us on occasion. He has always been friendly towards me & my husband, but still doesn't know us well enough to be considered a friend. A few nights ago we were all having a few drinks, playing pool & having fun & this guy won a pool game & came around for "high fives". When he got to me he grabbed my hand and held on for a minute until I pulled my hand out of his. He joked "just trying to get that wedding ring off ". We all laughed and I took it as a joke. An little while later he told me some dirty jokes & hugged me a couple of times. Later when we were leaving he came up to me & gave me a huge hug, & my husband & I left. Saw him again last night & he was standoffish & acted like he barely even realized I was there. I am not sure what was going thru his head that night & I don't know if I need to approach him & let him know everything is cool... We hang in the same circles & I don't want any conflict or tension.
2007-07-27 05:18:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
didn't you say he was drinking that night? If so, that is what was going on with him, and maybe he was standoffish because his behavior embarassed him
2007-07-27 05:22:46 · answer #1 · answered by ilovelilPhof 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious that the guy has a "crush" on you and he may be testing your you marrital boudaries. If you like the added attention then that is fine, but sooner or later, if you don't confront him about it, it will escalate and possibly put you in a compromising position.
Tell him that things are cool with you but that you were not cool with the advances, because that is exactly what they were. He was probably standoffish because he was embarrassed of his actions, but if you don't set the boundaries, when you tell him things are cool, he will push the envelope farther the next time he builds up the courage (whether it's liquid courage or natural). You may be in for a short stint of uncomfortable situations until things get worked out.
I hope this all makes sense to you.
2007-07-27 12:28:56 · answer #2 · answered by J N 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most likely he was suffering from AIS (alcohol induced stupidity) and realizes that he may have offended or embarrassed you! If he is a decent guy, he is a bit ashamed of his actions, and is staying a bit back, to be sure that he has not offended you. Just continue to act normal. Do not try to talk to him about it, he knows he was a fool and does not want to be reminded. Show him that there is no problem by not changing the way you act!
2007-07-27 12:25:30 · answer #3 · answered by fire4511 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He probably does like you more than a friend and the alcohol let those feelings out. The reason he's standoffish is he probably realizes what he did and is ashamed of himself. Personally, I wouldn't want to hang around someone like that.
2007-07-27 12:23:25 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would just ignore it, he probably knows he was over the line. If he tries pulling stuff like that again, in my eyes, it's your husband's job to say ummmm hello lay off my wife (in a joking way) Some guys like married women, keep an eye on that one!
2007-07-27 12:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by gwg1965 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he was so drunk that night and realized later what he had done and is now embarrassed about his actions. Just shrug it off this time...if it happens again you should set him straight about his improper behavior.
2007-07-27 12:24:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the drinks were affecting him, but don't give him any reason to feel comfortable physical contact with you, that will soon give tension between you and your husband.
2007-07-27 12:28:52 · answer #7 · answered by crappiekat1 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"we were all having a few drinks" Obviously he was a little on the drunk side. Nothing is going through his mind. YOU mistook the actions of a drunken man to mean something more
2007-07-27 13:01:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd say blame it on the liquor...it makes you do crazy things...that you regret the next morning!!!
2007-07-27 12:25:21 · answer #9 · answered by MiZz SaAk 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that guy was trying to feel you out, to see if you'd be unfaithful to your husband. he got cold readings from you and probably won't pursue it any further.
2007-07-27 12:31:38 · answer #10 · answered by shifty0800 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋