I have 4 boys, 12, 15, 17, 22 and a girl, 19. My hubby has an ostensive preference for the girl, this is evident to anyone and he doesn't try to hide. Because she's our only girl out of the 5 kids. Some people say I favor the youngest a little bit but this is not true, he's just a bit closer to me The girl is also close to me. She and my youngest are very happy, he doesn't mind my hubby favors the girl, and is close to hubby too. My oldest and my 17 yo don't have problems either, they are typical males, good boys but not attached to feelings, have practical minds. But my 15 yo is very sensitive, to him feelings are much important and he strongly resents this situation. He feels left out, thinks he's not loved. And he's a wonderful boy, a sweetheart, worries about other people. Responsible, an honor student, his teachers always praise him. But he's unhappy. I've told him we love him as much as the girl and the youngest, but he doesn't belive, doesn't trust us, this is sad.
2007-07-27 05:00:08 · 8 answers · asked by Lynda 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Some children do require the extra attention. He needs his parents to show that they love him, not just say it. When you do spend time with him, don't make him feel that you have to spend time with him, but you want to spend time with him.
2007-07-27 05:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a son who kinda was in the same situation would same that the 15 yr old prolly feels left out most times and he prolly feels that he needs more attention even though he's "teachers always praise him" but theres nothing much better then a parents praise. And if he one of those types that like to seprate himself from the family, dont just let him go his on way from the family so easy. Try to force him to hang with the family even if he doesnt really want to. Trust me it'll be just a matter of time for him to realize that "my family is very loving to me after all"! Although in rare cases he could be suffering from ADD, Atettion disorder and may need to get him check out at a doctor. Remeber love everyone the same,NO FAVORITES! Good luck and god bless to you and the family!
2007-07-27 12:37:37 · answer #2 · answered by Iwant2know 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a way to carve out some extra time for him and you to spend alone together. Go shopping for clothes with him, take him to lunch, do his favorite activity with him, hang out with him and his favorite movie.
It sounds like at this point he needs the actions of love, not just the words. Middle children struggle with this a lot, and yours is no different.
However, if it doesn't turn around with a bit of attention, then you may want to consider therapy.
2007-07-27 12:05:58 · answer #3 · answered by KatJones37 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try finding common ground, ask him about stuff he's into. Don't ask "so what are you into?" instead try "hey I rented this movie and know you'll really like it" open the doors. I have 2 boys and they are also pulling away and it's hard to balance freedom from isolation. I just really try to discuss things they are into even if bores me to tears. I watch their tv shows and movies, listen to their music, ect. Just keep at it and soon it becomes you're way of communicating
2007-07-27 12:48:04 · answer #4 · answered by annquad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's apparently suffering from depression, not uncommon with overachievers. Get him to a therapist ASAP. It's not the sort of situation that lends itself to simple reassurances, it needs medical treatment. Don't shilly-shally. Call your family doctor for a referral.
2007-07-27 12:17:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like dad needs to step up to the plate.
my 6 yo son already talks about how he loves spending time with dad, just the two of them...even if it's just to go to the grocery store.
2007-07-27 12:28:36 · answer #6 · answered by Lissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something fun with him.
Just saying that you love him isn't really enough to "prove" it to him.
2007-07-27 12:10:16 · answer #7 · answered by ;) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His dad needs to reassure him.
2007-07-27 12:14:49 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋