Friend only calls me to make announcements, do i bother calling back?

Question

I was friends with her in HS, shes married now with kids, only time i hear from her is when she just had a baby and now she calls to announce she and her hubby brought a home.
Last time we spoke was 2 years ago, i wanted to talk more, she had to go. Never called me back. I even sent a baby present for her daughter, she called me to say when she spoke to me last she wrote my new adress on a pizza box and threw it away by mistake.. I felt she was lying..so i gave it to her again.....Heard from her last year, she left a message saying "im in the city lets get together tonight" I was working all night so i called back right away left a message saying "im working lets get together another time"
Never heard back from her until now, 1 year later to tell me shes moving.. She never even sent photos of her family and she has my email or even invited me over to see them....

What is she looking for? This is not a friend?

Answer 1

this is not a friend....you don't need her. it's about quality not quantity when it comes to friends.

Answer 2

Not knowing how close you 2 were is hard. But my best friend and I have been together for about 42 years. We used to be lucky if we spoke once a year. Then we started writing letters to each other. Maybe 3 to 5 times a year. Life gets hectic. Now that neither of us is working and we both have email, we write every day. But I have others that haven't contacted me in more than a year. You get caught up in your life and kids and family and jobs. It's tough to keep in contact. My motto is that I'm always your friend. And good friends, no matter how long its been since you've seen each other, will keep in contact with you and even if 2 years have gone by you should be able to strike up a conversation with them as if you had just seen them yesterday. To me that's a real good friend. Don't look for too much. People change and so do their circumstances. Try writing her an email. See what happens. Good luck.

Answer 3

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans. This article focuses on the notion specific to interpersonal relationships. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

the tendency to desire what is best for the other,
sympathy and empathy,
honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
mutual understanding.
In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. Friendship and association can be thought of as spanning across the same continuum.

The principal disciplines studying friendship are sociology, anthropology and zoology. Various theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social psychology, social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles. See Interpersonal relationships

Answer 4

You are absolutely right, she is not a friend but a broadcast. There are many people like this in the world who just call to use other people. Whether she just wants to spread news about her life, or she needs a favor, it is always about her. If she never calls to ask how you and your family are doing or to see if you need anything, then what good is she. Next time she decides to call tell her not to call back.

Answer 5

You two have different lives now, and drifting is normal. She's doing the nice thing by keeping in touch and letting you know about her family. It would be hard to do much else, since you two have different lives and hometowns now! Just talk to her when you can, appreciate her thinking of you at special times, and make some new friends closer to home

Answer 6

sounds like she's busy with her own life but occasionally thinks of you when there's a new thing happening in her life and wants to tell everyone about it.
It also sounds like you've put forth a lot more effort, thoughtfulness and generosity than she has.
You could write her a letter to get her email and then try emailing back and forth to help keep in touch so you don't keep missing eachother's calls. If that doesn't work, just give up.

Answer 7

Hi... i have a "friend" who is similar.

we used to live about 5 houses apart, and she'd come over to sneak cigarettes because she didn't smoke around her husband.

she doesn't call me unless it's beneficial for her (computer problems, or she wants me to do somethig for her, etc.)

so i quit calling her. it's ALL ABOUT HER, i've noticed.... and even if these people profess to be "friends" exactly what are people like YOU and ME getting out of the friendship?

i can't see a thing, except maybe we are the last resort to brag, or get us to do something for them? god knows, i don't.

Answer 8

How much effort are you putting into contacting her? You keep saying the last time you heard from her. When was the last time you called and said, hey, let's do lunch?

Answer 9

it souds that she is busy in her own life better way to treat her that you must also keep quiet and dont send her any message until she comes back to you as a true friend

Answer 10

This is not a friend. Act like you don't care about her and she will leave you alone with her selfishness.
Good luck.