2007-07-27 04:44:12 · 27 answers · asked by paul 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You only get to go on this trip called life one time....
I for one wouldn't want to waste the trip!!!
Life is too short....
good luck!
2007-07-27 04:48:46 · answer #1 · answered by flyfish_777 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Man I went 11 years! It was only until, I decided that I was tired of being in a stagnant relationship, and then the ring came....
Sounds nice, but by that time I had made up my mind, and I didn't want to marry him anymore.
This guy always said things like he may never want to get married and basically daring me to leave by saying, "If you want to get married, then you need to find someone else." As soon as I took him up on the offer, all bets were off.
I say all of that to say, that if I had tried to walk away around year 8, I would probably be married right now. But you should want to be married because it's what you want to do, and because you want to build a life with that person, not because it's been 8 years and you are due. That means you are sort of forcing the issue. This will lead you to divorce court.
The only thing that I would suggest at this point is to not intertwine yourself too much, don't buy a house with him, don't have kids with him, because you are committing to him, when he isn't committing to you.
2007-07-27 04:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by patton19150 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have.
I've been in this relationship with him for 8 years. Living together and engaged for 3 years. And we still don't have any plans on getting married. Maybe some day, but right now I'm happy with what we have.
This would be both or our 2nd marriages. And I have to admit, I'm not too excited about getting married again.
I feel that when people get married they don't try as hard to keep the relationship strong. They start to take that person for granted.
But when you're not married you work at it more knowing that person could just up and leave if they want.
That's why I'm not in any hurry to get married.
I'm very happy now, why change that?
2007-07-27 04:51:54 · answer #3 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't stay longer than 4... (and that would be pushing it -- and only if I was very young when I dated). I suppose 8 years is reasonable if you're 15 when you start dating though.
If you want to get married, you need to tell him -- This is a deal breaker for me -- if we do not have a plan to get married or engaged in (set a time), then I need to move on with my life. I want to be a wife and have a family, and I thought that was going to be with you; however, you seem to be feeling differently. I'm sorry I didn't respect both of us to say something sooner -- but I want the dignity of being a wife and having a 100% commitment.
I wouldn't have moved in with him (if you have) and if you haven't, I wouldn't. And, if you have, I would move out now.
Guys don't tend to act to change anything when the situation is already working for them. Maybe he has major issues regarding marriage -- but he can get over them if he chooses to. He won't be motivated to though until the situation calls for it. If he doesn't wish to change, and marry you -- then you need to do the best thing for yourself and go find someone who wants what you want.
Good luck
2007-07-27 04:50:57 · answer #4 · answered by mj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the 2 people. My older brother and his girlfriend have been together for over 25 years. Lived together for over 20 and they have the best relationship I have seen.
And in those years almost all of thier friends have been married and divorced. Of 6 kids in my family, 4 or us are now divorced. Marraige does not guaratee a solid relationship. If the commitment is there it is there, the peice of paper does not mean anything. If it did the divorce rate wouldnt be arounf the 50% mark.
2007-07-27 04:52:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you two initially agreed to work towards getting married, then you should talk to him about that subject again to see if he is still on the same boat or if his mind has changed. If there have been no marriage discussions, then you can not expect that just because you have been together for so long that he will automatically marry you. I have heard of couples who dated for 17 years and have been just fine with it. If you want to marry him, you have to let him know so that you are both on the same page. If not, then maybe you should find someone else you love that also wants to marry you.
2007-07-27 04:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by acey5654 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I dated my wife on and off for a bit over 8 years- 1976 to 1984 before we got married. Just had our 23rd anniversary yesterday. So I would say depends on the circumstances.
She went to college and I went into the USAF, so we were pulled apart at various times but wound up back together after experiencing life on our own a bit. Never looked back since!
Old Guy
2007-07-27 04:52:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you been with a guy for 8 years or are you asing him to marry you with in 8 years? Soory for the ? but if you have been with him for eight years and he hasn'r asked and that's what you really want then maybe you should ask him what the fricking problem is. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and I feel like if he doesn't ask me by the time we are together for 4 then i just may have to leave.
2007-07-27 04:51:56 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get married and he says no after 8 years, no I wouldn't stay.
2007-07-27 05:04:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope. 8 years? if i was seriously dating someone and did want marriage in my future i would not date him after a year if the subject of marriage didnt come up in a concrete way. my time and future and goals are too valuable to me to waste them on someone who does not have the same goals and values. i once knew of a girl who dated a guy for 11 years ! and he finally broke up with her and met someone else at a wedding and married this girl 6 months later. know why? cause he knew he couldnt get away with stringing the new girl along.
2007-07-27 04:54:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I gave a man 10 years to commit to me and it turned out he cheated 3 times in those 10 years. I learned my lesson and have a 2 & 1 rule. If a relationship gets serious, the man has 2 years to propose to me and we have 1 year after engagement to actually get married. If he can't do that, then I cut my losses and move along.
2007-07-27 04:50:57 · answer #11 · answered by missmelissa5286 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋