Most people begin to size up a person based upon appearances. Does the person have hair or are they bald? Fat or fit? Tall or short? Clothing? Vehicle? Where/what do they call home? Location?
For example: I prefer women who are 5'8, under 123lbs, have brown/black eyes, black hair and are under 21. Did I just say that? But there are other things, which are much more important that I'm looking for.
I know some wealthy people who take great effort to conceal their wealth because so many people come to conclusions based upon what they see. They want you to walk/drive past them without you recognizing who/what they are. Appearances rule the theater when it comes to sizing up an individual as far as most people are concerned.
Next time you are out and about take a look at how many people are driving 'newer' vechicles. Then spot those that are old junkers. A lot of the people who drive 'clunkers' have more money than those who always drive new vehicles and constantly wash them. You can size someone up by looking at what they drive only so far.
I drive a 15+ year old beat up diesel truck. It could use a paint job but why bother? I would rather you think I am uninsured and have no money rather than paint a target on myself for you to attempt to follow me home. I laugh when I hear people whine about the cost of fuel because my fuel is literally pennies on the dollar. But I'm not about to give away secrets for free.
Body language says a great deal more than appearances. If you know what you're looking for you can read a person far better by understanding what their body is saying rather than listening to the garbage coming out of their mouth. Most people are like the politicians 'we the people' keep electing far more than they will ever admit.
As others have said here, talkers are easier to size up than the quiet ones. Abraham Lincoln is quoted as having said "the only man whose opinion I am interested in is the one who never says what his opinion is." Something like that. Yet body language outweighs rhetoric still. A lie still is only something someone says. The body, if you know precisely what to look for, is incapable of lying.
One way I use to size someone up is by the type of questions they ask. I'm single and, because of my line of work, I meet a lot of women. Often the first questions they ask are "so what do you do?" and "what do you drive?" when we meet face to face. The types of questions someone asks are a pretty good clue to the type of person that individual is at this point in their life. Many people ask questions to which the response is something they are uninterested in.
How are you doing? is a prime example.
Very few people ask questions that they are uninterested in entirely. For example: Do you cross your left shoe lace over your right or right over left? I don't give a hoot about that.
Most people want to jump to conclusions about other people. They jump to those conclusions mostly based upon appearances with consideration given, sometimes, for what a person says initially. Both of those are hardly indicators for the quality of person you are dealing with. But most people want to come to those conclusions quickly.
I'm noticing more "Attention Deficit Disorder" in our society. People are increasingly unable to sit still, to focus intently or even have the ability to have meaningful relationships. Have you ever noticed how some people seem to attempt to use their cell phone conversations as a way of saying 'I'm important'?
Very few people have the ability to sit completely still, saying absolutely nothing, avoid seeking attention and avoid the rat race that others have designed for you to live. The truth is, most people spend most of their life failing to get to know someone else and having that someone else get to know them.
If they happen to end life and have had just one of those such quality relationships they consider it a success. Two or more is even more rare. I make every attempt to avoid jumping to conclusions about people initially.
However, I'm very astute to security and values. I'm white but I guarantee you I can walk through any black or latino/hispanic/mexican community/neighborhood, at any hour of the day, all on my own - safely. I have a good sense of what a person is up to when I first meet them.
Years ago, I worked with these two guys. One day, pretty shortly after he came to work with us, one of them asks me if he could borrow some tools. Owe no man anything is what the Bible has to say on the subject. There are distinct differences between theft, borrowing and earning/deserving.
I said sure. So that night I gathered up the tools he had requested. I also wrote a rental contract and dotted the i's and crossed the t's. The next day he said nothing until after lunch. I let him bring it up again instead of offer. He asked me if I brought the tools. They were in the car. He asked me to go get them (serve me, was the message, for nothing to top it off). I went to retrieve the contract and brought it back and asked for his rental fee and his autograph on the contract. He balked, how dare I! (That's indignation if you hadn't recognized it) He wanted to argue that he had a right to borrow anything from me without having to pay for it or do anything in return.
He never borrowed the tools or anything else. He also moved on to another job shortly thereafter. Maybe he recognized that I realized what he was (character) and wanted to go con another audience. Maybe he has never given his actions much thought. Maybe he never learned anything from the episode. I'd like to think he's a different man today than he was then. But I also realize that people rarely reinvent themselves and become better than they were before.
How many people do you know, family, friends or acquaintances, who are drawing social security and signing up for medicare or medicaid late in their life? Very few people do much of anything to better themselves beyond subsistence.
Maybe it's the path of least resistance or maybe it's just being lazy. Many will say they worked hard and tried their best. Sounds like a politician talking there.
We are hardly the balance of our financial net worth. We are much more than that. But, in America and much around the world, people are judged by appearances more than anything else. Except by God/Jesus.
The question is what kind of person are you? Who are you? What are you doing today to improve the quality of your life? But even more importantly, what are you doing today to improve the quality of life for people who you will never meet?
You have something great inside of you. But only you can bring that out. A good teacher can only remind you at best.
What do you have to contribute to society? What can you leave behind for others? How can you help, serve, benefit complete strangers?
Or are you content to spin your wheels? Is the rat race fine and dandy? Do you recognize the difference? Now, what are you going to do about it?
2007-07-27 05:27:46
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Wow, I like your question. For me, it depends on how we're meeting, the environment, etc. If it's one on one, it's hard to size someone up quickly, as people are on their best behavior when it's one on one and it may take a few days. If they're with their friends however, I can size them up within a couple of hours. People can't hide who they are with their friends, the dynamics are going to show, good or bad. So, I guess anywhere from a couple of hours to a few days, depending on the situation.
2007-07-27 11:45:31
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answer #2
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answered by julescarecrow 3
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Around 2 minutes. First impressions last.
2007-07-27 11:40:38
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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I think it depends on the person I am "sizing up".
2007-07-27 11:36:11
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answer #4
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answered by hello world 7
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it depends on the person but mostly you can understand with peoples eyes just look the eyes,eyes never say lie I think it will take just a few seconds..
also it depends on who are you and what did you learn to your experience..
2007-07-27 11:55:15
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answer #5
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answered by baharcetin84 1
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Depends on if they speak or not. In the case of them speaking, 10 seconds.
2007-07-27 11:36:20
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answer #6
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answered by ~ 6
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Why bother???
I take people for who they
are and how they treat those
around them.
People however,
Seem to be 'sizing me up'
a lot lately.
I'm not that intimidating
really... I'm not.
2007-07-27 11:44:14
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answer #7
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answered by Greek Goddess 3
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I've got it all in 2 minutes or less.But some times you just have got to go with your first gut reaction !
2007-07-27 12:07:53
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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generally it doesn't take long to see the real person, even if they might be play acting,
2007-07-27 11:56:24
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answer #9
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answered by fuzzykitty 6
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I would say it usually takes about an hour.
2007-07-27 15:00:21
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answer #10
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answered by Tony M 7
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Mouse, in a few days, if I'm around them a lot, Jimmy.
2007-07-27 12:20:00
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answer #11
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answered by Jimmy 6
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