You sound like quite the catch!
2007-07-27 04:30:29
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answer #1
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answered by burbam2001 3
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You married for better or worse right? Why don't you try to do active things together..walks, bike rides, go to the gym together. What if YOU were the one that got fat? Would you want your wife to want to feel "a real body" for a change? Does the weight gain bother her and does she know it bothers you? There is probably something emotional behind your wife's eating habits. Get to the bottom of that and it will make a difference. Stop being so critical of her, did you marry her because you love her? Then help her work thru her weight gain. Be her partner in your marriage. Sit down and ask her what you can do to help her. Don't have an affair, unless you want your marriage to end, and if you do, tell her.
you will cause more hurt to yourself and her in the end. The grass is never greener on the other side.
2007-07-27 04:35:09
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answer #2
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answered by junebug 1
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You know, I don't know why ppl even bother getting married any more. Vows obviously don't mean anything to most of them.
Yes, it's wrong for a man (or woman) to want to cheat for ANY reason. Looking at or appreciating a good body isn't necessarily wrong, but wanting to cheat? That's going over the edge. Marraige is a sacred trust, with vows that should be taken seriously. If this person doesn't love his wife any more just because she's gained weight, maybe he should take a long look at himself and realize that he isn't perfect either. For better or worse was the promise...and if that's not good enough and he's THAT shallow, she deserves better than him and he needs to grow up.
Marriage isn't a turnkey thing, folks. It takes a lot to make a good marriage stay good. It's just become too easy for us to find excuses to give up and give in to our desires.
Maybe we should incorporate a real marriage "license", renewable every so many years like a drivers' license. Ridiculous, for sure, but at least it would keep the lawyers from getting richer and richer on people's misery. Guess it's not as ridiculous as some of the excuses ppl use to justify cheating on their spouses.
2007-07-27 04:35:59
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answer #3
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answered by Barbi T 3
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In other words, should you cheat on your wife? Absolutely not. Thats a trust barrier you dont wanna go through. If you wanna play around with someone else, then you should look into getting a divorce.
So let me see if I get your scenario right. Your wife has gained a considerable amount of weight, and the thought of having sex with her because of her appearance repulses you. Thats 100% perfectly fine, you're just being honest with yourself, you have some standards, maybe it didnt bother you at first because you kept thinking or she kept saying, that she'd lose the weight and be back to her old self, the woman with whom you fell in love with, not the woman you are now repulsed by.
Start first by talking to her about it, I mean having a serious heart to heart. Hey, the truth sometimes hurts, but Waaaaaaaa... It sure beats lying. Anyways, tell her how you feel about her being fat. Now, if you have things that she can hold over your head, oh well, tough. Tell her you are willing to compromise, come to some common ground, etc... If she is totally unwiling to budge, or if after a year things are still the same. Its time for you 2 to split. Hell, in some cases I would'nt even give it a year, maybe a few months. After all, you owe it to yourself to be happy with someone.
2007-07-27 04:32:37
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answer #4
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answered by jeff the drunk 6
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I personally think it's just as wrong for your wife not to give care to her appearance, as for you to want to touch other women! That may sound strong, but a woman should remember that sight is everything to a man, and if she's fairly average when she gets married, and blows up to 350 lbs, she's not holding up her end of marriage committment.
On the other hand, you may need to find the underlying reason why she's gained/gaining weight. I'm a "comfort eater" meaning when I feel down about myself, possibly even about my own weight, I eat even more, which makes no sense, b/c I'm depressed about being fat!! She needs understanding on your part, not judgement. She needs to know how important this is to you, and that you want to be in love w/ her body, but you can't be, if she doesn't love it enough to stay healthy. I mean, if she has a couple of love handles here and there, and has gained 10 lbs since you got married, you're just a jerk. But assuming this is an out-of-control problem, you need to let her know that you're willing to do anything to help her (including getting ALL unhealthy food out of the house?), but something has to change.
But, her lack of control and care does not justify you disrespecting your vows.
Two wrongs never make a right.
2007-07-27 04:40:06
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answer #5
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answered by Dj 5
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I say yes it's wrong because you are being petty and superficial. You married the lady because you loved her and agreed to be with her in good times and bad. Now you're trying to get validation to cheat on her because of weight gain?
I'm curious as to what your "help" has been to her since you speak so cruelly of her here.
A woman's body changes, especially after having children. Have you thought about that? Look in the mirror at yourself too. I'm sure you have changed in the course of your marriage.
Is there some other issue (health related or otherwise) that she has gained weight? Has she tried to lose it but gets frustrated by your words and actions?
Concentrate on the person and relationship you have now and do your part to make it better. Compassion, understanding and kindness go a long way.
2007-07-27 04:36:40
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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My husband has gained 50 pounds since our wedding day. Should I cheat on him?
Sweetie, I think you're missing the key element here - marriage is about committing to someone and sticking it out. Remember those words, "for better, for worse"?
Yeah, a fat spouse is a turn off. Trust me, I know. But is she a good wife otherwise? Is she a good companion to you? A good mother? A good friend? A good cook? Do you have fun with her, outside of sex? My husband is an excellent provider, a good father, and he makes me laugh. To me, that's more important than sex.
I have a vibrator to make up for what I miss in the bedroom. You have a hand, don't you? Use that rather than thinking about cheating on your wife.
2007-07-27 04:44:25
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answer #7
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answered by Christie 4
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Ask your self do you think it would be wrong if the shoe were on the other foot. Because it always seem to be ok if a man wanted to but not a woman. So I would ask your self do you feel that through the course of your marriage you got a beer gut should she want to touch and feel a chisel chest or some tight biceps wrapped around her.
2007-07-27 04:29:11
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answer #8
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answered by Lady G 1
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technically wrong. Morally wrong. I'm not too conservative or something... but personally i think its wrong. that's called cheating!!! even though you're a guy... don't do it! have you weigh the consequences that you're going to take? can you're conscience bare the weight of your possible sins? why not support your wife in losing weight?
You married her for her heart. you accepted her as she is. accept the hardships that comes with the joys of marriage.
Know what you're trying to do. Think Twice. Think Hard!
and no matter what you're decision may be...
"BE PREPARE TO ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES"
she eats more because she is suffering. she is obviously going through a lot of things right now. She si experiencing "Emotional Eating". This is a habit on which she uses food to consolidate her self. to help her feel a bit good after her self.
2007-07-27 04:29:27
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answer #9
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answered by eam_19_jq_24 2
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I think you are normal man. However maybe you should encourage your wife to become more active with her and try to pay some attn to her. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself and thinking about breaking your marriage vows. I am sure you are not the don jaun you were when she met you as well. Stop complaining and be a man and do whats best for your family.
2007-07-27 04:27:42
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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It is wrong. You marry a woman, not just a curvy body. If you have a problem with how your wife takes care of herself, tell her. Just make sure that you are not over weight. You cannot be hypocritical.
I told my wife that I do not want to be married to someone who does not take care of herself. She has since lost over 40 pounds.
If your wife is on medication that made her gain the weight, than see if she can change medications or just deal with it.
Take care,
Troy
2007-07-27 04:30:19
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answer #11
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answered by tiuliucci 6
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