How do married couples share their financial responsiblities?

Question

I would like to hear from 2 parents working and also from where only the husband works. My income is small but I pay half of the housepayment and food, groceries and household necessities and clothes and all for the kids. No medical coverage for us only he gets docs. If I ask for money from him it ends up as a loan to me that he expects repaid. What advice is out there for me? My hubby is selfemployed, works only 4-5 months a year and yrly. income for him can be well over 100k.

Answer 1

I stay home, and my husband works. He earns the money for the family, that includes me. I may not have a paying job, but I take care of the house and the kids, not to mention I do his paperwork and scheduling for his business.
I am going to go to school in the fall and then start working next year because my children will be in school. Nothing will change. I have worked before and all of our money goes into a joint account. Everything is paid from the joint account. We are each free to buy personal items and stuff for the kids from that account. We do have to agree on big ticket items (furniture, expensive electronics, etc..), but usually it's something we both want anyway. I don't understand how you can be married, but have separate bills.
If he needs $20.00 and I have it on me, I give it to him and vice verse, I can't imagine having to pay him back or him paying me back.

Answer 2

Humm seems like you got yourself a man who is taking care of himself!
Are the children his? If they are, you can start putting your "half" of the kids stuff into a saveings for you. You carried the babies, and gave birth, it's a man's job to pay for them to be fed, clothed. ( if you believe in the bible.).

It's good if your helping with the house payments, but isn't it also a real mans place to provide a roof, food and clothing?

Stop paying those other things, and tell old hubby, your share from your income will be going towards providing health coverage for the children and yourself. And the left over will be going towards a saveings account for yourself so you KNOW you have a future in your life TOO!

There's alot here we don't know. Does he do all the house chores and care for the kids the other 7 months out of the year? Does he help with chorse the few months he does work? All of these things have to be talked about and decided upon between you 2.

an ex of mine was a real man......once i had jobs that paid more than his, he stopped all together paying for anything!! He left it up to my checks to pay for everything!!! NOW today, 20 years later, he has it all............I have nothing!

Answer 3

its more a case of what works for couples. Most I know have only shared accounts, some have no shared accounts though. I really can't quite understand how you can make a marriage work if you have "your money" and "my money" and expect it to be a partnership. I can understand the idea behind what a few people have said, effectively having an "allowance" account that gets a small amount of money weekly or monthly that you can use for whatever purchases you want, but even that is pretty iffy. I mean overall, does a man or a woman spend more on things like shampoo, soap, etc? Should tampons + pads come out of "her" money? seems like drawing any sort of mine/yours line makes it harder, and raises more points for new arguments.

Answer 4

Coming from a two income household I found that it makes more sense to prorate the household expenses based on your incomes. For example, he takes home 4000 per month and you take home 2000 per month, total 6000 per month, you pay 1/3 of expenses and he pays 2/3. Talk to him about this, because you end up having nothing left and he has lots of money left over at the end of the month.

Answer 5

A married couple should combined all into one a/c. All expenses are paid from this a/c. There is no such thing as one pays half or a portion. My and my husband paychecks goes into the account from which we pay the bills, rent, food, kids stuff etc. and what left is used for outing, saving etc. There is not such thing as a loan. If he feels this is the way your marrage should be then turn it around and starting charging him for meals, laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. see if he likes it when you charging him for services he request.

Answer 6

Each of them is to pay for half of what they use and anything left over is their personal money to spend or same.
It may sound harsh, but if you were on your own you would find a better paying job to get more money. Why should that change because you are married? If you want more money you need to find a better paying job. Being dependent on your husband regardless of how much he can make is stupid.

Answer 7

I am a stay at home mom and don't earn any money. My husband completely support myself and our 3 children. Well, 2 aren't really his, but he treats them like they are. We get child support every now and then. He makes the money and I pay the bills. I feel bad for not contributing, but we can't afford daycare. Also, he will say well I worked for the money, I can spend it anyways I want. I don't get anything that isn't needed.

Answer 8

80% of our combined income goes to bills and savings into an account that he manages. The other 20% goes into a household account which I manage. Neither of us is selfish with the money. We move money between accounts as needed.

Answer 9

My husband works all year, I work part of the year. We have one household account where our collective paychecks go. Whatever we have left goes to savings. We don't have "my money and your money". I wouldn't like your deal and I don't know many people who would. I suspect you are the primary caregiver for the kids. Maybe you should start charging him for his portion of the grocery shopping, meal preparing, housekeeping or childcare.

Answer 10

Everything my wife and I make goes into a communal pot. We pay bills, take care of what the kids need, then decide how to spend the rest of the money. The way that you are stating it is very likely to cause rifts in your marriage. You need to start assimulating and communicating.