Debt and a baby??

Question

I have just found out i am pregnant and dont know what to do. I am in £18-£19k worth of debts. I live with my boyfriend and his mum and dad as we cannot afford our own place. My boyfriend has only been working for 3 weeks in a new job but doesnt earn a great deal. I cant get another consolidation loan so my monthly payments are lower as my credit is so bad finance companies will not touch me. I cant cope with all this debt at the moment let alone when my baby comes along. I know I was stupid to get pregnant so no comments about that please. Any ideas what to do for the best?? I have even considered suicide as i dont know where else to turn and my baby will not have a good life. I want to keep my baby more than anything in the world. Please help.

Jen you are right. I have thought about it but i would never actually go through with it. This baby is the most importnat thing to me know i just have to figure out a way to sort out my finances so i can care for this child 100% and give it the best life it deserves.

Answer 1

You need two things: first, a financial counselor to help you manage your debt and get on a debt repayment plan that will work. Second, you need a little more confidence. All babies need is love, warmth, food and nappies. Love is free. Warmth is cheap if you keep the baby close to you and rely on used clothing stores to dress the baby. Food is pretty much free as long as you breastfeed. So nappies are like the biggest expense. Your financial counselor should help you get in touch with free medical clinics and other programs that will help you get by until you're in a better place financially.

In the meantime, consider maximizing your income however possible and perhaps even selling luxury items (dvds, tv, mp3 player, art, collectibles) to help pay down your debt.

Good luck!

Answer 2

First off, just by reading this, I can tell that you are extremely stressed, which is not good for you..or your unborn baby. I am not going to lecture you on debt/credit cards, and why you should stay away from them. Your whole entire life is going to change when you have this baby.

Excessive debt is very serious, but not serious enough for you to end your life as well as an innocent babies life. You really need to think about that. You need to be taking care of yourself, and your body, so your baby will grow strong & healthy.

You could always try something like Debt Free America...where they work with your creditors to lower your monthly payments. This would stop all phone calls from creditors (if they are calling), and give you peace of mind.

If you are unable to pay anything....maybe you should consider filling Bankruptcy. That is not the best thing to do...but sometimes people just don't have a choice. It does not mean that you are a bad person, if you have bad credit, or file bankruptcy.

I know this is a difficult time for you.....but taking care of yourself and your baby is your main priority now.

Please seek help if you are really serious about suicide. I will be praying for you and your baby.

Answer 3

I don't know about in England, but in America there are programs (food stamps in one) that allow you to get food or other financial assistance for free. WIC (women, infants, children) is a program that allows mothers who qualify to receive household necessities (milk, juice, formula, etc) for free.
If you have insurance, or your husband does through work, then the insurance company should pay for most of your hospital stay. Maybe you could get a job at a hospital to earn some money and also get free medical care.
Check out thrift stores, ebay, lawn sales, and similar to find baby clothes and other items at cheap prices.
Being in debt is always difficult, espcially with a baby. Find a debt counselor that will talk to you for free about your options and how to manage your debt. Again, I don't know the laws in England, but as long as your baby has a place to live (currently that is your parent's house) and can be supported, I don't see why you couldn't keep him. Try to find employment during the early stages of your pregnancy to earn a litle money. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 4

Get all your bills together and if it's credit cards, call the companies and ask if you can get a lower APR rates. Cut up your credit cards, but keep one JUST for emergencies. Write down all your credit card bills and try to pay off the smallest ones first to get them done with. With the higher bills, pay a little more each month and concentrate on the ones with the highest APR rates. Do not close the accounts as you pay them off. It helps your credit to have paid off accounts open. Once you pay off a card, it takes 2 months to increase your credit score. Good luck...I know it's stressful as I've been there so SOOOO many people in this world.

I'd stay away from any loans. You'll just end up paying more for what the loans were to begin with.

Answer 5

Take it one day at a time. Call a financial institution and ask to see if someone will help you on a pro bono basis (free advice) on how to get your back on your feet. Most people don't realize that even when things are really dire, financially, that there are ways to mitigate your situation. It sounds like you have a roof over your head and people can live off of a couple of bucks worth of food a day. Just hang in there and don't make any lasting decisions while you're in desperation.Suicide is not the answer to anything. You're depressed and your hormones aren't helping you. If you love this baby, then relax and try to stay positive by making a decision to live.
Many financial advidor's will do a case for free if you explain your situation to them. Keep calling until you find someone who will (don't tell their secretary, just ask them to call you back and explain to the advisor yourself). He/she will need all your information and will probably need to meet with both of you to create a plan that will work.
Don't listen to your desperation. It's just panic fueled by hormones. You guys can pull out of this mess. It may take some time, but you will. Don't try and rush things. You're not homeless. There's going to be better days. just hang in there.

Answer 6

Ok see...suicide should not even cross your mind so just let that go right now!!
You are not the only one in that situation. I'm pregnant right now and in debt up to my ears. I'm working on getting that down though.
You have options...go for credit counseling company and have them lower your interest rates and payments. Alot of times creditors will reduce the balances also. Or, and I hate to say it, there is bankruptcy. I filed when I was single and pregnant with my son. It hurt me for a minute credit-wise, but you say your credit is bad anyway. That's what it's there for...to give you relief in situations like these.
Calm down and look at your options...choose the one that's best for you.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

Talk to a psychologist not people on here. You need some serious help. Think about adoption for that poor baby. If you are selfish enough to consider suicide, your baby is not going to have a good life with you, I know its harsh but its so true. Suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do.

Thats fine but you shouldn't bring it up on here and expect someone not to say something. You obviously have deeper issues than worrying about debt, thats all im saying.

Answer 8

Lots of folks enter into mother hood deep in debt. You'll be fine. You can breast feed to eliminate the cost of formula, perhaps get some government assistance for help with food. The only real expense is diapers and they aren't too bad.

If you really can't afford to raise a child, please consider adoption rather than abortion or suicide.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 9

hi call the cccs. they have a website, they will be able to help you arrange a payment plan for what you can afford! You write your outgoings on a budget, basically they send you all the forms you need and give you advice! don't worry you will be back on your feet in no time! hope your in england as i don't know about other countries!
good luck and congrats!

Answer 10

Since you are in a financial bind,you may consider adoption.In the end,everything will work out fin for you so please do not consider suicide.It's not the answer to your problems.I'll be praying for you.