Marriage is for better or worse? Why some people don't understand this meaning?

Question

The Worse part- - - might be cheating? abuse or dying?or broke? What kind of worse do you want?

Answer 1

Because it's easy to say it, but harder to do it. Divorce is so easy now, it seems like the first thing people think of instead of the last.
It's sad. The divorce rate has been going down, but that has more to do with the fact that people don't even want to commit to marriage anymore. They just shack up. I don't understand how a lot of people can commit to raising a child, but can't commit to the relationship first. It's become a society of putting the cart in front of the horse and then wondering why it's out of control.

Answer 2

Why don't some people understand that for better or worse doesn't mean that you have to endure everything that happens just because you're married. Marriage is supposed to be two people committing their lives to each other. If one of those persons breaks that commitment, then why should the other have to suffer or sacrifice? It is a two way promise, a two way commitment, a two way challenge, a two way journey.

The problem is that too many people enter into marriage thinking that they will just get out if it doesn't work. It is a partnership, and if one partner does all the work, then it isn't fair. Business partnerships fail all the time because one partner does all the work while the other reaps equal benefits.

Perhaps the marriage vows should say, "I will do my part, at all times, in every situation, for the sake of myself and my partner."

I have never liked those words "for better or worse." How "worse" does it have to get before you're allowed to call it quits? People don't understand the meaning because the words are so vague.

Answer 3

Marriage is supposed to be for better or worse and that does not mean cheating on each other or being abused. I was abused for alot of years and finally was able to get a divorce. Most people these days get divorced for anything and everything. Some couples don't stay together for the long run.

Answer 4

I do believe that many people feel they can marry and just walk away when it gets a little tough. I do not believe in divorce but was divorced and I was the one that filed.

Even the Bible and even with a covenant marriage condones divorce in the extreme case of 1) abuse 2) abandonment and 3) adultery. I had all of those and I just could not take it anymore, especially after 20 years.

I do think it is sad that so many believe relationships are disposable.

Answer 5

Because it depends on the individuals and the definition of "worse". If worse means having a hard time raising kids, or having a tough time financially, then I'd say it's ok. however, if any abuse is present, then "worse" does not count.

I have seen so many persons who like to quote this statement you made, just so they can get away with their personal nonsense. I don't agree with that.

The point of marriage is to be in it together. Therefore, if one partner acts outside of that understanding, or behaves destructively towards individuals and the marraige, then it would be double standards to expect (demand?) the partner should stick by him/her.

Answer 6

I agree that some people bail at the first sign of darkening skies in a marriage. But what about those who's lives and marriage is nothing but worse every day? Who's spouses promised them love, affection and friendship then after marriage turned into a nightmare of a partner?

Do you live with it for a month, a year, a lifetime? At what point to do accept that one person cannot make a marriage work? Or do you just sacrifice all hope of happiness for yourself?

Answer 7

Because while I do understand the meaning of "worse", it doesn't mean decades of being ignored, alcoholism(wasn't a drunk when I married him) 6 DWI's in two years and having to be bailed out of jail, protecting the kids when he went on drunken rampages, and having to change him out of women's clothing while he was blacked out on the floor so his daughters wouldn't see him like that. Worse also didn't mean losing job after job, not paying bills and almost losing the house. After decades of commitment on my part and no commitment on his, the last DWI and bail out from jail did it.

Until I threw him out he didn't get it. He's been sober (AA and shrink) for going on 4 years now, has the job of his dreams, a relationship with his daughters and has a good chance of living past 55. I understand "worse", I lived it.

My daughter understood "worse" too, until her husband of 4months(engaged a year, lived with him for a year before that) decided that he had met the woman of his dreams and it wasn't my daughter. My daughter wanted him to work (she works two jobs and goes to grad school), and he wants to play with his friends. My daughter did everything she could to save her marriage, however it takes two to tango.

Nothing in this world is as simplistic as your statement implies.

Answer 8

I completely agree with you. People use divorce as an option to fix things now! I hate it. Don't they realize how a broken home effects children. I believe that anything can be worked through, although tough even adultry can be worked through!!! I do not believe that divorce should be allowed unless you go to marriage counseling for one year before. If you need to live in seperate that is fine until the decision is made, but divorces are way to easy to come by these days!! And, getting married is too easy too! There should be some kind of required therapy for that too!

Answer 9

I was married for 25 years, and believed I could make it through for better or for worse, without doubt. He physically beat me, shattered my temperal bone, now I am deaf. He left me in 2004, thank goodness. I realised now that it was a blessing that saved my life! Love doesn't hit!
I agree with "Wildflower"! been there too, ouch! What happened to the honor and cherish part?

Answer 10

Because we live in a society that says it's OK to marry knowing divorce is viable option. If you aren't happy divorce and try again. Happiness in from inside and not dependent on another person at all. If one is unhappy they need look inside and see what they need to change instead of tearing apart their families and still finding they are not happy. Our vows are memorized theatrics now adays. They aren't taken to heart and understood as what marriage holds. The wedding ring is another significance. it is round and never ending as a love and marriage should be as well. Most people are selfish and only want perfection as they see it. They are immature and can't handle when the boat gets rocked as it does and will during marriage. We all love the better part-but it's the worse that builds and solidifies the relationship into something more than superficial.