Do we blame Madeleine McCann's abductors for her disappearance, or her parents?

Question

This of course will be of great interest to every parent answering my question.
I am becoming annoyed at the persistant suggestion that her parents are to blame for her disappearance. Let me put it so simply. Someone, as yet unknown, went in there and "snatched" her and took her away. They knew it was illegal and without the parents' permission.

THEY are to blame. THAT person takes responsibility for their action.

So I have brought up a difficult subject, and I would love to hear other's views on this. Personally I have so much sympathy for the parents.

Answer 1

Agree.
Although leaving Madeleine, Sean & Amelie alone wasn't the wisest option - the claim that they are to blame, is obsurd and uncalled for.
People that criticise the McCann's for their costly mistake, are selfish and insensitive. Because the only reason you should be telling the McCann's of their mistake is so that they learn from their mistake. They have learn't and unfortunatly suffered more than any human being should EVER have to! Then why do people still criticise?
If anything, I believe the McCann's parenting skills have impressed me. The way they have kept strong and upbeat for the twins and the rest of the family!
The only PERSON TO BE BLAMED is her abductor(s) because they have commited an unspeakable crime and caused a lot of agony to a lovely, normal family and turned the world of a little child upside down.
My best wishes remain with their parents and I still have hope that Madeleine will return safe and well ..

Take Care
& Best Wishes ..

Answer 2

When we were on holiday we didn't leave them for one second on their own. We wouldn't do it at home and certainly not in a strange place. It is an absolute horror what has happened to this family. I can't imagine how dreadful their lives have become. But I don't feel as much sympathy for the parents as I probably should because they know bad, evil people are out there no matter what country you are in. They gave the abductor the chance to strike. That decision which they will have to live with, was wrong but at the end of the day it is something which cannot be changed. I feel for Madeleine whether dead or alive and I really hope for all her family's sake she is alive and can be returned to them. I have a 4 and 3 year old and I know how they feel if they can't find me.
I can't describe what i feel about a person who would abduct a child from their parents. If there weren't people like this about people could relax and let their kids play with more freedom without fear.

Answer 3

The abductor obviously has to be mainly to blame, but those parents neglected those children, and so they must take some blame as well. It is not just about the fact she was taken, you have to think what else could have happened because they left those children alone. Any one of the three children who were ages two and three could have fallen out of bed and banged their head, eaten something and choked, turned on the cooker or fire or other gas or elecctric appliance and set the place on fire, or got an electric shock. One of them could have been sick and got up to find mummy and daddy not there to help or comfort them. The list goes on. In the UK it is illegal to leave a child under 14 at home alone, because of these risks, and also because of stranger danger. It is child neglect, and many parents have been made examples of because of this law and had children put into care or put on the "at risk" register. It has to be taken seriously that what they did was wrong, and they are partly responsible for this happening. I do have sympathy that the child has been taken, is still missing and may not ever be found, and I pray that she is ok, or that she did not suffer if she has been killed, and my heart really goes out to the family, but I still have the right opinion of what they did being wrong, as do many others. We are not wicked, or evil or unsypathetic for having this opinion, it's just that if any of us here had left our children at home alone and they had choked to death or anything then we would have been charged with neglect. They are intelligent parents too, they are both doctors, and they really should have known better than this. I don't go out unless my children are well cared for by a family member, and I certainly wouldn't leave them indoors on their own at that age, and go out even if it was two doors away. I'm sorry, but you are never going to get everyone to agree with you on this one. I have put in the argument against the parents, now someone will put in the argument for them and so on. .......

Answer 4

If, as you say, that there is no guarantee that children will not be abducted etc even if their parents are near at hand, then it seems a bit odd to leave 3 children under the age of 4 on their own all evening in a foreign resort, in an apartment with the door unlocked. Some of us are highly critical of the part that the McCanns played in the abduction of their daughter ie they left the children alone and unprotected. We cannot direct our anger towards the abductor because so far we haven't got one!

Answer 5

I agree with you. The person who snatched Maddy has sadly been forgotten in all of this. Someone who takes a child from their bed, or who has wandered out of their complex is a sick individual. The fact that there are people like this in the world is also a very sad and worrying fact. The anger should be directed towards these people- not the parents. Whether or not it was neglect (personally I think it was a bit complacent) I do think that the greater crime is the taking of the child. I have not been on YA for a while because I could not keep reading all the insulting and rude comments on the McCanns.No one has the super ability of keeping their eyes on their children at all times.... not even some of us on Yahoo answers. It breaks my heart that Maddy is still missing.

Answer 6

Well said, and I couldn't agree more.

I find it perverse that so many McCann bashers simply refuse to acknowledge that there is any blame to be attached to anyone other than Kate & Gerry McCann. Some have even resorted to denying that there even was an abductor - we might not be in possession of evidence that there was but the Portuguese police, who have all the evidence about the case, appear to be treating it as an abduction so who are any of us to question that?

Can I also say about the whole "wouldn't leave your wallet in your car and expect it to still be there" argument - there are a heck of a lot more people willing to pinch a wallet from a car than to abduct a child, aren't there? The likelihood of an event happening is part of the assessment of risk that we all make before doing anything that carries any risk whatsoever.

Answer 7

The abductor of course, however the children should not have been left. Having said that it is all too easy to be lulled into a false sense of security whilst on holiday, which I believe they were.

Consider this though. One of the parents went to check at 9.00pm, I don't think it has revealed which one. Following this, someone goes into the room, the children don't wake. Madeleine is sleeping between the two boys, he lifts her up. She still doesn't wake or make a sound, neither apparently do the boys. He then carried her out of the room, she still doesn't wake, or make a sound. He then gets clean away with no witnesses, and a still sleeping child.

Now call me cynical, but surely if a child was picked up, she may not awake instantly, but being carried out of a room, surely she would have woke up screaming at a stranger carrying her away.

Answer 8

You are right in that whoever took her is the one to blame, but as a parent of two boys myself I would feel to blame if I left them in a room unattended and they were snatched, her parents weren't being responsible by leaving them alone, they should of had a responsible adult look after them while they were out drinking and eating or they had the option of getting a sitter through the resort they were staying at but chose to leave them unattended, my heart goes out to them but in some ways they are to blame by not being there with the children, the world is not a safe place and the children should come first before any meal out with only adults while on Holiday

Answer 9

I actually think that the real question is this: 'Why do we, who have no personal connection with the family, feel the need to blame somebody for the girl's disappearance?' It doesn't have anything to do with us, we're not suffering because she's been abducted, and yet we want to point the finger. (Well, I personally don't, although to be honest I would place a lot more blame on the weirdo who did it than on her presumably loving but briefly inattentive parents.)

What is the point of blaming anyone? I would actually like to know what anyone gets out of pointing the finger, beyond a brief injection of self-righteousness.

Answer 10

While the abductors are to blame for having kidnapped the girl, I don't think the parents are off the hook. I can't imagine leaving children that young by themselves while you go out to dinner, even if you're going back periodically to check on them. At 2 and 4 so much can happen so quickly that you never leave children that young alone. That's why we get these things called baby sitters when we're home and want to go out.

If you're traveling with young children, you start off with the idea in mind that you're not going to be having quiet dinners alone with just your spouse. You already know you're going to be having dinners with the children in tow and fairly boring evenings in your hotel room while the children go to bed early. And I'm speaking from experience having raised a daughter.

Unfortunately for this couple, they didn't have the usual events happen - child flushes something down the toilet, swallows something not meant for injestion or pokes finger into electrical outlet to see what's in there and get shocked. Unfortunately for them, they had a complete tragedy occur that was unforseeable but possibly preventable had they remained with their children.