ok...this is both embarassing and frustrating.
We live in a very small town. A few months ago, a black man moved into the house next to us. Over the course of a month or so, we would talk ..just the usual "neighbor" stuff.
I found out his name is Terrance, he is recently divorced, and he works a 3rd shift in a town near us.
The more we talked, the more I became attracted to him.
I hate myself for that!
I find myself peeking out my window now - just hoping he is in his yard working (with his shirt off!)
I fantasize about this man every day -
I have never been with a black guy, so I am sure thats part of my obsession. I also think about the "myth" and black men.
I am happlily married - but cant stop wanting him.
We are alone in my house sometimes, and I get so flustered talking to him.....i can barely form words! lol
I've even started looking at interracial sites online - and that is so unlike me.
WHAT is my problem??
Why am i so drawn to this one guy?
2007-07-27 00:56:42 · 22 answers · asked by Kathleen M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you say that ou are happily married but deep down you must have a problem. do not take this any further. you do not want to loss your husband over i wonder what would happen. my first marriage ended because i too became involved with My neighbor. my husband found out and left me. it was not worth it. there is nothing wrong with fantasizing about him but stop there. good luck.
2007-08-03 10:25:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your husband isn't sexually giving you enough? You should be hounest from the start and tell your husband how you feel, and what you have done. And he will know that you're hounest and that you have needs. Or if worse comes to worse... He gets offended and leaves you, but at least you told him before you cheated on him. So as far as i see, you will either
1. Imrpove your husband.
2. Break up the marriage in an HOUNEST way, and he will in the end consider you a beautiful person (even though he will be hurt.
3. Or you can convince yourself that you will have sex with this guy once and never do it again... But that would make you a horrible person.
2007-07-27 01:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good morning.....Dream Weaving are we?....Haven't you ever heard the old saying..Opposites attract? Everyone fantasizes one time or another, whether it's a daydream or night dream of someone other than our mate. It's natural, however in your case it has gone beyond natural...lol. This neighbor intrigues you in some way whether it's because of his physical appearance or because of his race. He turns you on...lol. Now I'm going to say that since you have not been with an African American male then maybe this is why you are so mystified in wanting him. Not to 'bust your bubble' but African American men has the same exact plumbing as a Caucasian man, no difference except for the coloring, don't listen to 'myth's and fables...lol. Every man has their own equipment but different strokes for different folks. You on the other hand has never experienced having a relation with an African American male and you are curious. He's an enigma to you. And you are determined to satisfy your hunger for something you never had. Now the question is...do you want to ruin or jeopardize your 'happy home' for a one night fling of curiosity? You are letting your imagination run to where you might ruin something good you have now with your husband and family life. Do you want to risk all that? You want something you can't have or never experienced and your hormones are telling you to 'go for it' but your heart tells you 'no'. You have two choices here as I see it. One choice would be 'stop' peeking out your window and watching this man and concentrate on your 'family' and 'stop' inviting him to your house when your husband isn't present! Choice number two would be "go ahead' and satisfy your hormone hunger and risk the chance on your husband finding out and losing your 'happy home'. And if you choose on choice number one, then you need to stop visiting those websites and go to a different website to keep your mind off of him. It's your decision, make it the right choice. Good luck and take care.
2007-08-04 00:40:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are many reasons to be drawn to him
1 it being taboo (society says to accept it but most people grew up around some sort of racism)
2 hes the new neighbor, whats he like, and he's home during the day
3 the spark between you and your hubby might not be there
4 its a fantasy you had but never realized until now
this could be disasterous for you and your hubby and you have to be very careful, you should talk to someone but then there is a chance of others knowing, if you have a sister, cousin or just someone you can trust with your life then talk and understand what you going through
good luck
2007-07-27 01:10:58 · answer #4 · answered by tencar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called fantasy, it's not really a serious attraction, it's more of a 'what if' !! You are a happily married woman and would never forgive yourself for giving in to this illusion. If you did, bang goes your marriage, your reputation, everything. If you seriously think this divorced man would then rescue you, you are living in cloud cuckoo land!!! Enjoy watching him and leave it at that.
2007-07-27 01:04:16 · answer #5 · answered by witchnanny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its just a fantasy , there are not to be acted upon, or it can be that your lusting, but its ok just dont act on your feelings. dont do anything that would jeperdise you and your husband's relationship. marriage is a sacred thing . mayb u and ur husband should talk about a 3 some , which includes the black man. lol just joking
2007-08-02 15:19:30 · answer #6 · answered by sweetbahama mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming from your comments that you have slept around before? Maybe it is because he is new to the neighbourhood and you have been spending time together. Be careful though because lust is a dangerous thing for married people, and if you are not careful you could end up alone.
2007-07-27 01:06:02 · answer #7 · answered by ryles72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly if your talking to another man behind your husbands back i dont think your in love with the one your married too. Because if your husbands not there and he is startin to be there more than your man then you might be fallin in love with him because he is giving something you need.
2007-08-02 05:25:59 · answer #8 · answered by $Ke-Ke$ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are in a relationship that maybe doesn't have the spark it used to... and you are seeing something new and "forbidden"... and forbidden fruit and the juice of the fruit is what interests...
bet you get so excited and a little tingly at the thought of you neighbour... and have done other things too...
if you wanna chat, let me know... i've dealt with other women in similar situations...
[EDIT] I get a thumbs down for trying to help someone, from my experience... :( guess some people just love to brag and don't want help... fair enough!!!
2007-07-27 01:03:26 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ew...! You like to be treated like a whore...? You MUST like abuse b.c this what going to happen if you f**k him! Black guys are ugly...why do you like him? I'm sorry, but personality isn't so pleasing as looks. I don' t believe ppl when they say "looks don't count" cuz it totally does.
You have bad taste, I tell ya!
I can' t stop wondering whats wrong w. you.
Are you fat? Are you dumb? Was your childhood ok? Geez...
2007-07-27 16:13:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋