I have been with a guy who is in denial that he has bipolar. I would really like him to get help but I now ask myself the question "do I need to get help, for staying with him and allowing him to mistreat me, calling me names and degrading me"
2007-07-26 23:24:55 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I have sympathy for you, because your boyfriend IS oblivious to how much you are suffering because of him. This is because he is suffering so much himself and does not have the strength or brain space to think about you.
Obviously you care about him and want him to get better, and your support can help him. But if he refuses to help himself then he will never get better. Bipolar disorder needs medication, if he won't get it then he is not treating himself or you properly.
If you think you can talk to him about it face to face, go ahead. But probably the best thing to do is write him a letter. Explain that you love him and want to support him, but you cannot survive the way he treats you. Tell him that unless he seeks help them you will leave. It is harsh but it might be the only thing that wakes him up.
Regardless of what he decides to do, you must put yourself first. Does the support you get from him compensate for the suffering you receive? If it doesn't then leave. You do not deserve to be treated badly and you must stand up for yourself and protect yourself. Walk away from the abuse, you can find love in other places. Good luck.
2007-07-26 23:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by Velouria 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abusive people NEVER seek help--maybe only very rarely! BeHIND their abuse of others, is their conviction that they, themselves, are being abused and therefore, have the RIGHT and NEED to punish that person! The problem is that, regardless of a mental illness, they probably WERE abused, abandoned, etc., when they were children! This stays with them and when they are grown and out of the abusive home, they become the abusers--trying to "get back" at the person. It's the old "Do unto others, as was done unto you!" Even though the adult's situation/home/mate are NOT abusive to h/him, there is a kind of viseral "need" to fight back and punish, since they were not able to do so as children.----The only reason for staying with an abusive person, is if you yourself are replaying abuse from your childhood--if you are masochistic, etc. I hope you vote for Mental Health for yourself and get out while you can!
2007-07-27 13:16:13 · answer #2 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the definite answer to that is yes. Why are you staying in a self-destructive relationship?
2007-07-27 06:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by jingles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋