freaking me out. He says he is just being nice and saying hello, and I believe him. He actually told me about it upfront, and showed me the email exchange.
How should I handle this....? It's, uh, been VERY clear that I am uncomfortable with it!!!
2007-07-26 22:59:25 · 24 answers · asked by ♦♦pixiechix♦♦ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well since he was up front, that was a good thing from the start. Also 1-2 chats with an old aquaitance is harmless. I would only start to wonder if the following situations started:
1) Constant email chat
2) Personal information shared
3) Plans fo a meeting wer made
Other than that, I would only have 1 other concern. Who keeps the same email adress for 20 years? I would start to wonder where this ex was a ble to locate your husbands email adress to begin with. Just my opinions.
2007-07-27 00:44:29 · answer #1 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm.....I recently contacted an ex of about 20 years. Not because I was interested in him anymore but because I was looking for other mutual friends. We took a walk down memory lane but nothing else.
His wife did accuse us of having an affair. I was pretty offended because I live 3000 miles away and I am married and have a life of my own. I won't talk to him anymore because I really do see why us chatting hurt her. Even though it was innocent.
I think if he is being upfront don't automatically assume the worst. ALOT changes in 20 years. I know I was shocked by how different my ancient ex had become. Hopefully he will see that you are uncomfortable and change it.
Good luck
2007-07-26 23:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by blueink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get a grip. Are you so very insecure as all that? He caught up with someone from 20 years ago in his past. It's exciting. 20 years ago, we were all young and beautiful. Brings back memories. He told you about it. He even showed you the email. Are these the actions of a man with something to hide? And then you make it, uh, VERY clear that you are uncomfortable with it? What a right little snit you are! Tell you what I would do if I were him...next time I ran into an old flame, I just wouldn't tell you. And if I happened to see them again, I still wouldn't tell you. See where your distrust of an obviously innocent incident could lead you? Suck it up, and quit acting like a teenager.
2007-07-26 23:08:20 · answer #3 · answered by claudiacake 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You HAVE to trust the man you live with or why are you still together? I'm not being sarcastic. If you cant trust him, you will walk around feeling sick to your stomach. When he doesn't answer his cell. When a girl calls for any reason. When he is late from a night with the guys. I think you should tell him that you are uncomfortable with his contact because you are married. Just talk to him. If he wont let it go, Move on.
2007-07-26 23:16:15 · answer #4 · answered by daisyjzmum 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he suddenly feels a need to rekindle an old relationship with another woman. This is not a good sign, it sounds like he's getting tired of you. I would tell him nicely to end the contact, that it is completely inappropriate and is offensive and upsetting to you. Be up front and honest. If he loves you, he will end it. There is no good or healthy reason he has to renew any "friendship" with any other woman except you. You should be the only female interest in his life.
2007-07-26 23:05:12 · answer #5 · answered by Since you ask. 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i would be freaking out too...im sorry but this aint a thing that you can just "grow up" on..to whoever said that..i would be uncomfortable too..i agree with the person who said something innocent may turn all wrong...but just sit your husband down and talk to him..tell him how you feel..and maybe you,your husband,and his ex may get together and try being friends...if you do meet his ex then see if shes a threat to your relationship..i know i would just tell him that i dont feel comfortable with that and i would like him to stop communicating with her..at least he is telling you about her though..but he may also go behind your back..tough situation
2007-07-26 23:08:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you're freaking out, and unnecessarily.
Your husband showed you the email upfront, and told you about it. He didn't hide a thing. That's the sign of an honest man.
He probably is on classmates.com or something like that, looking to find out what happened to old friends from the past.
Stop freaking out is all. Imagine if you ran into someone from your past, and just wanted to see how they were doing. Should he have a coronary and get all insecure? No, right?
2007-07-26 23:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
Since he showed you all the emails you had with her, he is trying to be frank with you. Sit with him, when he communicate with her, make sure they are not rekindling their love again.
Make the other party aware that you know about their contact, by sometimes, helping him to type a few words like "hello, is nice to get to know you, hope to meet you sometime for tea"
I am sure, he or she would not dare to talk about their past if they are aware that you are reading all their mails. In this way, if they just communicate to say hello to each other so it is ok.
2007-07-26 23:11:05 · answer #8 · answered by spring 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he did marry YOU in the end didn't he?
It's not like they're hanging out or anything,it's EMAIL besides it was 20 years ago.
Did you think maybe she's MARRIED too and has kids and a life?
seems to me like you don't TRUST HIM. That can poison a marriage very quickly.
2007-07-26 23:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by Mr.TwoCrows 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is an important part of a relationship....I have many Male friends who I treat like my brothers and family and I would never see it any other way they are just like family to me.....I know most of their wives and girlfriends and they know they have nothing to worry about.....if your husband is showing you there is nothing to worry about than you need to trust him....Trust is one of the things that without it...can ruin your relationship.....I hope all works out for you
2007-07-27 01:37:31 · answer #10 · answered by T B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋