I lost my partner of 16 years about 2 years ago (sudden heart attack at 48), and I still miss him terribly at times. I have just turned 40, and I know there is still a lot of life ahead of me, but sometimes finding someone good is just SO hard!
His name was Bill. He was 10 years my senior. It was 1989, I was 21, and I had just come to the States to work in a national park, and that is where we met. I really had no interest in meeting someone and falling in love at that time. He was a big burly man who loved musical theatre, road a motorcycle, and pursued me. I think I eventually fell for him one afternoon as I hugged him for dear life while riding a half-mile on the back of his motorcycle. We went back to his cabin, and he was a perfect gentleman to me. I spent the summer by his side, and decided to take a chance on love and followed him to California at summer's end. He supported me as I pursued my passion, photography. We had 16 wonderful years together. I miss him so.
2007-07-26 19:49:37 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
August 1st will be the anniversary of his death. I dread the coming day. Are there any widows or widowers here who have been through the death of there partner? How did you get through? How long were you together? Have you found love again? I want to love again, and find someone with whom I can spend the remaining 40 years of my life, or so.
2007-07-26 19:52:33 · update #1
I lost my partner in 2001. He was 41 and I was 38 at the time. I don't think you ever get over the pain of missing him .. but that can be a good thing ... it makes sure you never forget. I grieved for a long time, and I remember it seemed as though nothing anybody said to me felt genuinely consoling at all. I know they meant well. The hurt always remains. I do remember a comforting poem someone gave me:
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
2007-07-26 22:33:48 · answer #1 · answered by C-Bag 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, i know exactly what you are feeling, i lost my partner also after 16 years, 2 years ago, he was only 43 and passed away from a viral heart infection, i still have down day's but am pleased to say that it does get easier and i am now having more up day's certain things will just set me off sometimes for no reason. i strongly believe i will find another good man i can spend my life with, and i am sure you will as well
2007-07-27 03:22:30 · answer #2 · answered by pete m 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, i have had to go thur that also. Losy my wife of 31 yrs to a very quick and unsuspected death. She dyed of a brain anurism. And am still trying to get over it. But man is it hard to do. So really can't give any advice on how to proceed, just take it one day at a time. We were very much in love and had a great life going. Had just gotten all the kids raised and out of the house and was looking forward to our time. If you would care to chat sometime would like to hear from you.
2007-07-28 08:05:09 · answer #3 · answered by brewster789 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't experienced the death of a partner as such...but I was in a 7 year relationship that ended badly...he just left..it was sort of like a death...I was 37 at the time
I never thought I'd meet anyone again...but I did and I have now been with him for 20 years...there is hope for you --lots of hope--love always shows up when you least expect it.
I am truly sorry for your loss...it is always very difficult to lose those we love. Be good to yourself...I'm sure he would have wanted that.
2007-07-27 03:02:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you. Yes, I know what it is like to lose a beloved partner, someone you have spent a huge part of your life with ~ grown with, shared with, learned with, cried and laughed with, quarrelled and made up with, lived life with for 21 years ... and then, before he was even 40, nothing.
To be honest, I wandered around like a zombie for 18 months after his death, and it was during this time I learned how very, very lucky I am to have a wonderful, caring family and friends.
And I have been so fortunate to find love again, with a truly wonderful woman who has cared for me and supported me, a truly mature and self confident person who has always encouraged me to speak about my late husband and my feelings without hiding anything. It might sound strange, but sharing my sorrow with her has helped us grow even closer as partners and as friends.
I still miss my husband every day, and think about hiom and the life we had together very often.
I believe one of the things that has helped me love again is knowing what love is. Having once experienced that strong, pure love I felt for my husband, I knew I wanted it in my life again, and recognised it when my wonderful partner came along ~ I knew she was the one I could have that love with.
Every anniversary of my husband's death, and on the date of his birthday, I make a 'special' dayu inside my head for him, and I never stop missing him. I doubt I ever will. But it is thanks to him I can love as I do. It is one of the many gifts he gave me.
As time goes by the pain of grief recedes, and it's possible to see more clearly the great joys of a loving relationship.
I hope you find that special love you are seeking ~ I know you will recognise it because the life you had with your partner taught you what it is, and how to share that love in your life.
Best wishes to you :-)
2007-07-27 03:24:18 · answer #5 · answered by thing55000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My condolences.
I would cherish the memories of your partner and try to move on.
It would not be disrespectful of your partner's memory to start thinking of letting a new special person into your life. Best wishes.
.
2007-07-27 02:56:46 · answer #6 · answered by Wise@ss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, it sound like a hurt that will not gone...
but u still have the great memory with him, its ur treasure, cheer~
i just getting worry about my partner will away from me... i just 25 he is 50... haha, any thing can happen in the name of love...
i just hope i can be with him until he gone...
2007-07-27 12:14:33 · answer #7 · answered by Kordal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a girlfriend that passed.....There are so many people in our same boat...We should mourn not for the ones we knew, but for the ones we did not.
Everyone has a tear....Do not mourn for yourself but rather for everyone who does not have someone to mourn for them.
2007-07-27 03:03:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a type of hurt I never want to experience ...
Sorry for your loss...Hope you see brighter days in your future...
2007-07-27 02:53:33 · answer #9 · answered by Infamous Twit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋