I have a tendency to be kind of controlling if someone says something I strongly object (ie something political,blatant stupidity) I get so upset. I rarely say an objection quite as the strongly as the way I might be feeling but I tend to get all worked up about it on the inside.
2007-07-26 19:48:33 · 4 answers · asked by daisiesinthesummer 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Try keeping this thought in mind....
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.....
This one thought usually keeps me in check but when I do feel the need to open my mouth then I run this through:
Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said right now?
Does it need to be said by me?
If I answer yes to those then somebody is going to hear my side of things. It's not a bad thing to feel strongly about certain things but if your reaction bothers you then maybe you should consider ways to change it. I'm much the same way as you are. I react quickly rather than respond rationally, so those two things that I mentioned above get used a lot by me.
2007-07-26 20:55:16 · answer #1 · answered by theanswerman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try adjusting your personal boundaries, so they are not set quite so tight.
Our personal boundaries are set around ourselves, and we all have a different default. I'm not sure exactly where yours starts and finishes, but a friend of mine who used to get really worked up quickly found when she investigated her boundary, that it was tight fitting and snug, like a wet suit. As a result, she hardly ever empathized with other people and found it difficult to let comments go that were stupid, and found herself going from irritated to explosive very quickly.
Once she'd adjusted her boundaries, by imaging that the wet suit was a cloud of fuzzy silver gas, she visibly lightened up, and was delighted to find that she could expand her cloud to encompass people she wanted to feel close to. Once she started to practice this technique, instead of getting would up and exploding, she found herself bursting into fits of laughter at other people's ways, because, after all, when someone says something daft it's not a reflection on the people listening, it's a comment about the personal world of the person doing the talking.
Once you've finished reading this, you can go and have fun playing with life!
2007-07-26 20:09:18 · answer #2 · answered by Dogstarrr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Intellectualise the whole situation and realise that they are seeing the same picture from a totally different angle. And do some deep breathing to become normal.
2007-07-26 19:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by Swamy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just take deep breathes.. and walk away..
2007-07-26 19:52:53 · answer #4 · answered by 33627 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋