You need to convince her that the guy hasn't changed. Has he been to an alcohol treatment program, a spouse abuse program or made any effort to learn how to NOT go back to the way things were. A necklace is nice, but it doesn't prove that he has changed; it only proves that he is willing to spend some money on her.
If he hasn't shown any sign of making a change in behavior then he will go back to beating her and abusing the kids. If the children see the husband abused, then they are being abused. It is proven that child abusers raise child abusers. The decision she made to leave was made for her and her kids and for their kids.
If she comes back to her husband then he will not change. It will only prove that by beating her and treating her the way he has is the way that works best. He has to make the change first, and he has to show it, and more importantly he has to admit that his behavior is wrong. Until he does then he won't stop. Look at Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. They are being bad and treated like stars for being bad. Paris Hilton has no skill except that she can party, which she turned into a career. The last case just proves that what she is doing now and has been doing is the way to win. She ignored the judge and skated out of the penalty, she almost got out of jail, simply because she was famous. She got millions of people to care about her, and the worse she behaves the more attention she gets so her bad behavior is being rewarded. The same is true with this guy, the more he abuses and drinks then the worse he becomes and if she keeps coming back to him then she is only reinforcing that bad behavior.
2007-07-26 17:12:03
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answer #1
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answered by Dan S 7
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You should see if you can take her to talk to a domestic violence counselor. I know that you are worried about her and the kids but a lot of women that are is similar situations have such low self esteem that they feel they will not get anyone better than them. They also believe all the lies. Sometimes no matter how much you want to help her she may not be ready to leave him yet. Just be there for your friend and keep giving her advice because I know she needs you.
2007-07-27 02:17:03
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answer #2
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answered by MZ. Latina 3
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NO! this is a very dangerous thing for her to keep doing he will not stop the abuse it will get worse
each time she leaves and goes back the children are constantly in fear also they do not deserve this kind of emotional turmol. the best thing you can do for your friend is to do your best to convince her to stay away from him but she is feeling very alone right now and needs a lot of support from all her friends and family emotional as well as finacial to feel secure and strong enough to do what is best for her kids and her please get her so help it will be tough but if she has the support she needs she can do it dont keave her alone because that is the worst time of all so stick in there with her this can be hard on you as her friend but that what friends do right?
2007-07-27 00:18:45
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answer #3
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answered by youngheart_51 1
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It's best to jump a sinking ship...if you want to survive. (and I'm talking about you--not your friend) You can only help so much, and then help your self. Get out. Maybe show her this reply on answers. What about her? PROFESSIONAL HELP. What about the children? How much do you really care? There are laws against people whom abuse their children, and against a parent whom let's the other parent abuse them. "all he does is drink and he treats her and the kids like crap"... Some immediate PROFESSIONAL intervention is needed.
2007-07-27 00:11:51
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answer #4
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answered by mld m 4
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you are a such a great friend that who willing help her! tell ur bestfriend that not to go back with him, find someone that will make her happy n that are respect her, also if she go back to her husband tell her that things may go worst so she does not want that right?
2007-07-27 00:51:35
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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She needs serious therapy since she is clearly in the cycle of violence. She may not be receptive to your help but perhaps if you put it to her in the context of the danger she puts her children in, her fear of losing them to social services might make her take action.
2007-07-27 00:07:03
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answer #6
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answered by banana6464 4
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Tell your friend that at this point she has to choose what's best for her children.
Her children will duplicate what they witness in their parents marriage.....does she want her children to live through what she's living through now?
Most women will do what's right for their children.
2007-07-27 00:49:42
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answer #7
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answered by daljack -a girl 7
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