When is the right time to consider dating after splitting forever with your husband/wife?

Question

My wife dropped a large bombshell on me earlier this week. Basically we can never be together again, because she was from a different country that i can't move to ( because I would not be able to make a living). She told me she wants a divorce, and as hard as it is...I do not think we can work this out.

I have no desire to date. I thought she was the one i would grow old with.

People are telling me I have to move on before I can feel better. She was the one that abandoned the relationship- but I still feel married.

Should I take peoples advice, and start meeting people? I am just talking like meeting for coffee or something.Would this make the pain go away.

This is a stupid question, but I am so unsure of what I need to do in life now. My plans, and lifemap have been destroyed.

Answer 1

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. You need to have time to properly mourn the end of your marriage. Only you will know when it is time to move on. You are in my prayers and I wish you only the best.

Answer 2

You can't expect to get over someone you expected to grow old with in less than a week. The heart just doesn't work that way. Anyone who tells you anything different just isn't thinking rationally.

You have to take this on your own timetable. Only you will know when you're ready to move on and start meeting other people. Please don't try to use other people to help you forget about what (and who) you lost. It's not fair to you or to the new person/people in your life.

Of course you still feel married. The relationship just ended. Give yourself the time to get over this. As time goes on, your feelings about the relationship and the person you lost will change.

Only you can make the pain go away. No one else can do that for you. People give that "you have to move on before you can feel better" advice all the time. It doesn't make any sense to me. You have to feel better FIRST, then you'll be ready to move on.

I'm sorry about the end of your relationship. I really believe though, that everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by accident - not even the things we don't understand.

Wishing you happiness and love in your future.

Answer 3

Only you can decide when it's time for you to date again.. there is no formula of this many weeks or months then start dating again..

Right now you need to mourn the lose of your marriage, you plans and your lifemap as you put it.. You will know when the mourning pperiod is over when that time comes and you have altered your lifemmap and plans then is the time to think about starting to date again..

Sorry to hear your marriage didn't work out.. Try not to be too bitter about it... Accept it for what it is the death of a marriage, mourn it as you would a death, and when the mourning is over move on..

Answer 4

i think is not the right time for you to star dating again because for what you said you are hurt and still feeling committed to your ex wife. why you don't just take your time to assimilate what just happened to you ones you get the fact that you are not marry and the person you picked in the past was no the correct then go a head and date, mean while hang out with friends and take care of yourself. Good luck!!!

Answer 5

At that very instant of your being separated from your husband. Go ahead. Take your way out and look for partner.
jtm

Answer 6

friggin biatch. unfortunatly, just time will heal. You can try to go out but you'll just chase off people with your depression. Best to just get an intense hobby.

Answer 7

It's the right time whenever you feel it is.

Answer 8

Time my friend ....time