I'm 15 how to deal with my parents?

Question

2 years ago I was immature and messed up. They were harsh though I sincerely regretted. I lost their trust, though there was no reason for this, cause I've never messed up again. That was terrible, devastating, they were important to me. For a year I did my best to earn their trust back, suffered a lot, but didn't succeed. Anyway, my life changed, I got great proofs of trust of teachers and other adults. I grew up, found strenght, stopped suffering, gave up my on parents, got over they didn't trust me. I knew I was trustworthy, from the emotional point of view they weren't important any more. I know they are even proud of me but we hardly talk. They have my lil sister and I just live there, have several good activities and people who trusts and help me, especially a teacher that's like a mom. Now my parents seem upset whth this, maybe they now realize they had no reason to treat me like that. They are trying to rebuild a relationship, but this would be hurtful I don't deserve more pain, now I can't trust they love me, can't see them as loving parents, they didn't act likd that. There are wounds that won't heal. How do I deal with this until I leave home?

Answer 1

Forgive them. Be open with them, tell them exactly how you feel but do it as gently as possible.

Answer 2

Trust, once it has been damaged or broken, is very hard to rebuild. Since you are 15 and still maturing, growing, and changing, you really need to be able to trust your parents, without getting pain; but, the problem is you have both made mistakes. Start slowly with something that, even tho important to you, won't devastate you if the trust is broken again, that way your pain will not be so bad. However, if they prove trustworthy with it, try them again with something along the same lines. If you find them once again being trustworthy, try them with something a little more important. The more they succeed in being trustable the better the relationship will grow between you. If you find you can't trust them, just tell them things that will not hurt you. I really hope things go well for you with your parents.

Answer 3

When I was your age, I do some things to tick my mom off. Now I am adult and my relationship with her is 100 times better than it was. You might be doing things they do not approve of (I honestly do not know the whole story). Teenage girls are hell to raise. One day, you will have a little girl and see the drama she can bring. I am not saying you are a bad kid. But you might have do something that takes a little bit more time to rebuild the trust. Then again, your parents might be real anal. I am not there to see what is going on. Your parents might not like this relationship you build with your teacher for other reasons that you might not be seeing. They are on the outside looking in. It is kinda of like being in a bad relationship. You do not see all the bad things... but your friends do.

You need to act like and adult and talk to your parents. Explain how you feel. Maybe even write something down that way you have it straight. They are not going to down you for speaking your mind. Just keep it cool when they are saying their side of the story... do not throw a fit or stomp off. That will not solve anything. It is hard growing up and the real world is nothing like your parents... it is crucial out there.

Answer 4

believe me I know what you are going through. when I was 11 I made a big mistake and lost my parents trust. for years I tried to gain back their trust but nothing worked. so like you I gave up on them. now they are trying to gain back my trust because they know in another year I will be gone. but they hurt me too much, and as you said there are wounds that will never fully heal. my parents always liked my brother best anyway. he was "perfect".

the way I deal with it is that I try to keep to my self as much as possible, and to get away as much as possible. this is why I go on so many trips. the less time at home the better. the times when I o have to be around them I don't trust them with any thing big, but I am always watching to see what they will do next. I don't think I could ever see my parents as "loving parents" but I do have to live with them... for now.

Answer 5

wow you should write some poetry it really helps. it sounds like u have been trying to win back there trust but dont give up they will come around one day until then you just have to deal with it your parents love u and they are a huge part of your life, keep trying to build up your relationship with them. and your still young you will be living with them for quite a while so u might as well make the best out of the situation

Answer 6

I would sit down with this same letter (except about the teacher being like a mom part--your mother might not like it..) and show them..and then sit down and talk with them...thats all you can do...your parents are perfect you have to remember..they make mistakes too...Sit down with them...let them read this same letter, and talk!! If you dont trust them still, then thats okay.. Maybe one day you will. But now you have to focus on your life..and how to make it great..so you are a great productive human being in society..Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Love and Honor your parents. What ever you do, don't disrespect them. Read your (NIV) Bible if you have one.
The Ten Commandments say to Love and Honor your parents.
As long as you are living under their roof, it is their rules.
Whatever hang ups you have with your parents, you need to learn how to forgive.

(NIV) Bible
Genesis 50:17
'This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.' Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father."

1 Samuel 25:28
Please forgive your servant's offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD's battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live.

Matthew 6:12
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Matthew 6:15
But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 18;21-22
21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Answer 8

You are punishing them because they punished you because you weren't trustworthy although you are now and they should trust you but since they don't you're punishing them.

Did I get it?

Family counseling.

TX mom
Debbie
Not a counselor

Answer 9

i fyou can not ever earn their trust back its their loss. what i would do is prove them totally wrong. get awesome grades. abide by every stupid rule. who knows maybe with in the 3 years you are still there they may surprize you!