A women who tells her spouse her feelings and needs. A spouse who appreciates a man who plans trips and vacations. If the marriage starts getting a little stail she will tell him that and not bail out for greener grass. My wife left me for a coworker and this is what she told me "you should have noticed that I wasn't happy" well with you running around trying to be miss popularity in our small town its kinda hard to notice! sorry had to vent. any ways I want a women who will sit down with me and discuss issues after 15 years she could never tell me her feelings or needs I'm serious. Is that normal with women??
2007-07-26
16:01:03
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13 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
I ment woman sorry ladies=)
2007-07-26
16:02:56 ·
update #1
I meant woman sorry ladies=)
2007-07-26
16:03:27 ·
update #2
Wildflower thanks for your response. I noticed you started your yahoo id the day she left me back in Nov. I'm still dealing with it.
2007-07-26
16:20:53 ·
update #3
b n real... she used to call me sweetpea. I'm glad to hear other women use that word.
2007-07-26
16:33:02 ·
update #4
im so sorry.
yes i am that way and i have a man i completely love and am devoted too and if i ever start to feel like we might be slipping apart i talk to him about it.
keep lookin , dont give up!
2007-07-26 16:06:05
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answer #1
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answered by princessfionafantasy 5
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I understand completely too. I am married to a man who doesn't speak to me, only to yell and criticize. He recently told me that true happiness only came from a clean house. We've been married 18 years and nothing has ever changed. I've dreamed of the day that he actually sits down and talks to me and looks me in the eyes and smiles. I've not seen him smile (at me) in many, many years. I've gotten to the point in my life that when I see happy people, they make me sick. I would give ANYTHING have a healthy relationship. I've told him that he doesn't have to be mushy to me; I just want communication. As for doing any planning of any sort, I do it all. He says that since he works and brings home the money, that I'm to take care of everything else. Well, I work full time, have 3 children, work 2 other part time jobs and am getting to start college full time 2 nights a week. I do all this, plus do all my inside and outside work (5 acres of grass to mow and weedeat) and I know how to drive our tractor and I bush-hog our 71 acre farm. Anytime anything breaks, I have to fix it. When I ask him to do anything, he just says"you can do it". O.K., now I've vented... I feel much better. Anyway, you seem like a wonderful person and husband and I'm sorry your wife thought differently, but as you said, she just wanted to see if the grass is greener on the other side and she'll realize it's not. Maybe oneday... my husband will realize how special I am. Hopefully it will be before I die.
2007-07-27 00:35:52
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answer #2
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answered by samanthajane19 2
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Sorry pal, really I am, but she was telling you, you weren't listening! Oh, wait; it's not that you weren't hearing her, because she was using body language. She didn't know that men don't read that language too well. She also didn't know that men don't read minds too well, either.
These are things that are different in men and women, and why we say that one has to "work at making a marriage work". Most kids think they can get married, hop in bed, and keep each other dizzy in bed, and the marriage will work well.
It doesn't work out that way, and if you don't try and read the signs, and the body language, and establish meaningful, understandable, honest, vocal communications, you'll be sorry!
She :told" you she wasn't happy; she said so. You didn't "hear".
Yes, there are people who can communicate in marriage, and make it work, but the communication is both talking WITH and listening TO partners.
2007-07-26 23:18:26
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answer #3
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answered by seeitmiway32 5
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Too many people think that the one they love should be able to read their mind... it's very unfortunate.. There is a saying that "communication is the key ... " I truly believe that . One must clearly express his or her delights, dreams, fears, desires, and needs / wants.. One must stop and think daily, for what am I thankful today? Too often, we walk through the day looking for what is wrong or sad, instead of focusing on what is right.. with our mates, with our lives, and with ourselves... I think the problem you discovered with your wife is common in many relationships with both men and women... My Ex waited until he exploded physically, then still didn't know for months why he exploded (until it was too late).... now, he says he was angry over small things and let it build until he lost control.. One should spend time one on one with their spouse, not watching tv, not cleaning house, not arguing over bills, but focusing on eachother and discussing the past, present, and future they have .. and hope to have with one another.. I'm sorry for your pain. Look at it this way - my belief (I heard it on Oprah LOL...) Every person in your life teaches you something.. are you learning from it?
Best of luck, email anytime..
Wildflower
2007-07-26 23:12:50
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answer #4
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answered by Wildflower 6
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sure they exist. but there are two ways to have such a relationship: find a woman who is that way from the start, or you yourself have to be open and work with her toward that end. it won't happen all by itself.
sadly, it sounds like you were given an excuse, not a reason. running off with someone else and then saying "you should have seen it coming" is juvenile at best. commitment means working at it until both sides understand it. she wasn't willing. that's just not true of all women. you can find many who want to share.
2007-07-26 23:11:03
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answer #5
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answered by The Beast 6
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Well I have to agree that that was a b.s. excuse on her part. She wasn't WOMAN enough to tell you that she's not happy w/ something in your relationship.
A REAL WOMAN can tell her man her feelings! You'll find one. Don't let her leave a dirty taste in your mouth. And like the lady before said Karma is a *****! She'll get her's in the end.
2007-07-26 23:42:56
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answer #6
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answered by FrancoAmerican! 3
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I am sorry that she was a tramp to you. That had to hurt. Do you think that she'll be faithful to him? Or that he'll be faithful to her? Not likely. There are women out there...and they are probably looking for a man like you! Give it some time..your heart will heal and you will find someone who is worth your time and who IS worthy of you. She''ll eventually realize that she screwed up and by that time you'll have moved on. Good luck in the future!
2007-07-26 23:30:04
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answer #7
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answered by ~Charity~ 6
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Sweet Pea no that is not normal. I don't know the Mrs. but it sound like she is being a little selfish. Marriage is not something you do for show, it is a long life commitment in the good and bad times. Give yourself time and do something for you at this point. I pray that you find a peace that passeth all understanding. God bless!
2007-07-26 23:15:30
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answer #8
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answered by b n real 4
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Hon didn't you ever hear that women are fickle or "Don't try to understand them." Women always want to talk unless their spouse has made it very clear they don't want to listen or says things like "What now?" The one I love is "Look...I don't want to talk right now...I need my ME time". Well my EX has all the ME time he can handle. In fact after 7 years of separation he came to me one day and said "After 7 years.. I take it we aren't getting back together". I asked him what gave him the clue...maybe the man sleeping in my bed? It sounds like this is reversed. More than likely she was unhappy because she likes the thrill of "being in love" instead of "loving". Once the "thrill is gone" she needed to find it again to be happy. Take some advise... don't look for love...let it find you...it works better that way.
2007-07-26 23:18:51
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answer #9
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answered by GramsMel 2
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I dont know...she probably excist....you just have to start dating...I mean I dont beleive in the whole cheating crap because honestly it is just stupid...but I tell my husband and he really doesnt care...as long as I am here that i all that matters to him.
2007-07-26 23:06:37
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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